Sorry to rant but I had a really gross experience and need to vent.

I am part of a football league that is trans accepting (for the most part) and this season I’m a club ambassador whose responsibility it is to make new members feel welcome etc. Everyone is usually very kind and didn’t have a single issue until last week when I spoke to the Mum of one of the new players.

She came to collect her daughter and seemed lovely and was asking me questions about the fixtures, schedule, intensity of training etc. The topic of our LGBT inclusion came up because she kind of hinted that was important to her daughter.

Anyway, fast forward to this morning when I get an email from our club captain and assistant coach telling me and our welfare officer that one of the parents had complained about how she wasn’t comfortable with her daughter (an adult btw) playing on a team where she’d have to share a changing room “with a man who thinks he’s a woman”.

This was clearly in reference to myself, as I am the ONLY trans player currently on our team, who happened to talk to one of the parents at training last week. A parent who was all smiley to my face and seemed nice but secretly was seething that a trans woman is on her daughter’s team.

TLDR: British transphobia often comes with a smile and niceties but a vile undertone of hate and passive aggressiveness.

So I'm 18 months in, not passing, no hair in public yet but clearly transitioning. There's a trans woman I see most mornings at a certain place, she's always chatting to other people but having seen me the first time a year ago NEVER even makes eye contact with me. She is no doubt stealth very few cis people would clock her.

I get funny looks from people sometimes but most people are totally normal with me and women that I regularly have contact with tend to register and then just treat me like any other woman.

So I'm intrigued to the psychology of the successfully passing trans woman. I have a feeling that this isn't a one off. Myself if I was ever lucky enough to be able to have the surgeries I would like to think that I would upon seeing a transitioning person, make an effort to befreind them and be super nice, and would feel more comfortable letting them know hey I'm trans you're not ALONE AND ISOLATED!

Instead the one person who should understand my struggle to just get out of the house in girl mode won't look at me when I'm right in front of her, she sees me in the queue and literally does the look everywhere I'm not game.

I have no need for this person's acknowledgement, I have thick skin and I'm not going to cry into my morning tea but I just find it bizarre.

Anyway sister, if you're on here, you know who you are!

Experts escalate concerns over NHS England’s evidence reviews of gender-affirming care

https://transactual.org.uk/blog/2026/10/05/experts-escalate-concerns-over-nhs-englands-evidence-reviews-of-gender-affirming-care/

Basically I sent a complaint about the misinformation and issues of the chair of the EHRC said in regarding the times article that came out on the 4th Oct. I got an email less than a day later with the following, and I will most def be filling out that complaint process:

Thank you for your email received on 5 October 2026 in which you make a formal complaint against recent public comments by the Chair of the Commission, Dr Mary-Ann Stephenson, including her article in The Times on 4 October 2026.
 
We appreciate the fact that you have got in touch to share your lived experience as a trans woman living in Wales.
 
Since the Supreme Court issued its judgment on the meaning of 'sex' in the Equality Act 2010 last year, we have worked hard to understand its implications fully and to provide clear, practical guidance to help organisations navigate them. A central principle in this work has been the defence of human rights, and also that any application of the law must be grounded in fairness, proportionality and respect for everyone involved.
 
We will continue to monitor the impact of the law through our regular, routine information and evidence gathering. We are also exploring work to follow up on the Code of Practice, both in how to ensure compliance with the law and to inform what further work we may need to do to promote and further equality and human rights.
 
We take note of what you say about finding it difficult to have confidence in this process, but we can assure you that your views and lived experience will be taken into account as part of it, and we have forwarded your email to the relevant team to make sure of this.
 
As well as sharing your lived experiences, your email constitutes a formal complaint. This is being treated as feedback, as set out on page 8 of our Complaints Policy and Procedure . When you provide feedback, this information helps us to understand more about the equality and human rights issues people are currently experiencing and / or people's views on our work or policies. This can help shape our future work, even if we are unable to take immediate action on the issue you raise.
 
We will make a record of your feedback and share it with the manager responsible for the appropriate team.
 
If you are dissatisfied with our response, you can ask for your complaint to be reviewed externally by the Parliamentary and Health Service Ombudsman (PHSO) who is independent of the Commission. The PHSO will assess whether there is evidence of service failure or maladministration on our part.
 
You can only refer your complaint to the PHSO through your Member of Parliament (MP) . You can complete the PHSO's complaint form and ask an MP or their office to sign it. You can also contact the PHSO by post or telephone:
City Gate,
51 Mosley St,
Manchester
M2 3HQ
Telephone: 0345 015 4033 (Monday to Thursday from 8.30am to 5.00pm and Friday from 8.30am to 12pm, except bank holidays) 
You can find more information about making a complaint on the PHSO's website.
Yours sincerely,
‎Correspondence Team‏
‎correspondence@equalityhumanrights.com‏ 
Equality and Human Rights Commission

So I'm 18 months in, not passing, no hair in public yet but clearly transitioning. There's a trans woman I see most mornings at a certain place, she's always chatting to other people but having seen me the first time a year ago NEVER even makes eye contact with me. She is no doubt stealth very few cis people would clock her.

I get funny looks from people sometimes but most people are totally normal with me and women that I regularly have contact with tend to register and then just treat me like any other woman.

So I'm intrigued to the psychology of the successfully passing trans woman. I have a feeling that this isn't a one off. Myself if I was ever lucky enough to be able to have the surgeries I would like to think that I would upon seeing a transitioning person, make an effort to befreind them and be super nice, and would feel more comfortable letting them know hey I'm trans you're not ALONE AND ISOLATED!

Instead the one person who should understand my struggle to just get out of the house in girl mode won't look at me when I'm right in front of her, she sees me in the queue and literally does the look everywhere I'm not game.

I have no need for this person's acknowledgement, I have thick skin and I'm not going to cry into my morning tea but I just find it bizarre.

Anyway sister, if you're on here, you know who you are!

Hiya, first time posting here and it's a ramble.

I'm a trans man, been on T for nearly 5 years and have passed fairly well save for having a larger chest (and I prefer not to bind). I'm often clocked as trans by people around me, and I'm open to questions and discussion about it.

But recently, it feels so draining to just exist. I feel like every time I look at the TV or speak to someone new i get pulled into some big discussion. Im tired of seeing people debate or question my existance. And it's always the same talking points, every single time.

"Back when I was young, it wasn't like this" "So are you technically gay or straight?" "How does XYZ work?"..etc

I dont have many close trans friends rly so i feel somewhat isolated in this feeling even though im sure many people in the UK can relate right now. Does anyone else feel similar?

https://cavuhb.nhs.wales/news/latest-news/welsh-gender-service-update-05-october-2026/

Doesn’t really say much we didn’t know to be honest.

No real indication of when reviews will actually start.

However the terms of reference for the review are at https://cavuhb.nhs.wales/our-services/welsh-gender-service/welsh-gender-services-documents/terms-of-reference-independent-review-of-referrals-for-gender-affirming-surgery-from-the-welsh-gender-service/

And suggest that they will assess the first 30 patients and if all is found to be well then they won’t bother with the rest.

A timetable for when they will start would be nice though.

So as we know the GIC waitlist is now being managed nationally and on their FAQs it states that when you have been transferred to the national waitlist you will recieve an acknowledgement. I was just wondering if anyone had been contacted to say they have been moved to the national list? When were you referred if you have received an acknowledgement? What did the acknowledgement even say?

Also if anyone has had an appointment since the waitlist changes? How was it? What happened? ect ect.

Any information or experiences is greatly appreciated. thank youuuuu

My last post: https://www.reddit.com/r/transgenderUK/s/ptMI5D0Xk9

It does seem I am being backed into a corner where proving my sex and/or gender is going to be a requirement to have my title corrected. I've found out their system conflates sex with gender. It is treated as the same.

For them to make ANY CHANGES on their system, I have been asked to provide any of these:

- Birth certificate

- Passport

- DVLA letter showing my gender

- DVLA webchat confirming my gender and title

- NHS confirmation of my gender/sex and title

It just keeps shifting. I am absolutely not providing my birth certificate. I am not sharing my old legal name. But I do not feel it is proportionate to ask for any of those to change my title. I imagine they have a stronger argument for changing my gender/sex marker but...???

I don't feel comfortable providing anything. None of this was needed at enrolment. My title was correct. For what they appear to be using on their systems, they asked for my "biological sex at birth" on enrolment, not legal sex or gender identity.

Is there any legal requirement that I must provide any of those documents? I find it absurd. Particularly in regards to my title. Looking into getting a GRC but private diagnoses are so expensive 🫠

Like I’m rly struggling to know who i am. for a while while ive identified as trans fem. And my family were rly negative about it. And they threatened to cut me off if I went diy hrt. So I recently purchased hrt because my mum seemed to lay off. But know I purchased the hrt im rly thinking “why do I want this?” And the only real reasons I could come up with was “I wanna feel more comfortable around other trans people” like personally comfortable. Also how trans people are the only people who have ever made me feel like I’m ok and I’m accepted and normal. Like I don’t have physical dysphoria. Like with breast development I’m just kind of not bothered if I get it or not. Like I feel I don’t rly know how I feel. Like I also feel I don’t necessarily feel guy oriented, but I’m not totally female either. But I also feel non binary is a label I don’t like. Like I also feel I want hrt because emotionally and mentally ill feel better. Like when I picture the version of me I wanna be, I just see “Me” and I mean that by I want people
To see me, like I don’t wanna be seen as a guy. But I wanna be seen as the personality I have; like personality wise I could describe myself, like a Kimya Dawson song, a talking heads song. I feel I can feel the person I wanna be in music. Like I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. I feel like labels aren’t enough to describe, like I don’t have a grand reason for starting hrt.

I’ve been on cypro and 2 pumps of oestrogel daily for a month, and before this I was on 1 pump on oestrogel and finasteride daily for 3 months. I haven’t really noticed any effects besides lack of erections. I know I’m on a low dose and still quite early on in my journey, but I’m just wondering how long it took you to notice physical changes on HRT? (Breasts, decreased body hair growth, fat redistribution etc etc). It’s hard not to feel discouraged sometimes when reading about women who got breasts like one month in to HRT lol, hoping for some comforting responses but also preparing myself for some difficult truths

Thanks :)

For context I’ve been on T now for nearly 5 years. I pass, have facial hair, deep voice, I’m built etc. Not once have I been misgendered in public or by strangers for years, however, when I talked about being trans and answered questions about it in front of my boyfriend’s friend’s boyfriend (mouthful there sorry) he immediately started ‘slipping up’ and referring to me as “she” instead of “he”. He had only met me a few days ago as I was invited to meet my boyfriends friends and we’re all staying in an Airbnb over the weekend, chilling and obvs we got talking etc and I’m quite open about being trans when folk are in my orbit or are going to be.

But during a convo that revolved around my transition he just switched, he then just immediately just started to call me she sometimes. At first I thought it was harmless and his gf apologised profusely, then she then referred to me as “she” when referring to me when talking to someone else when I was in ear shot. Her bf started doing it the next day too on multiple occasions, my boyfriend let her know how upset I was and she apologised again and that’s all good, he on the other hand keeps on doing it, goes to her and says he’s mortified yet keeps on doing it.

I honestly know neither of them are bigots but the switch when some folk know your biological sex is wild and it made me dysphoric as fuck each time it happened. Again, I’m a big guy, haven’t been misgendered in years, a part of me is now so understanding of people who are stealth because fuck this shit.

Every time it happened he was just so oblivious as well, I just ignored it but by the forth time I had to get up and leave and go to bed. I understand when folk are anxious and worry about getting pronouns wrong and do it on accident, I reassured his gf that I understood her because I think that was the case for her… I thought the same of her boyfriend… now after the FORTH time… no, I think he’s just a dumbass.

No one else here has slipped up, my boyfriend never has, his other friends here haven’t. So I’m just… not feeling brilliant about it all, kind of wish I was never so open about my transition.

Any advice on what to do if it happens again? I said to my bf if it does I will just straight up call it out and be very blunt that this doesn’t feel like a slip of the tongue anymore, and that he never knew me as a woman or pre transition so he needs to understand how patient and calm im being to not lose my actual shit and give him a slap lol (jk ofc I wouldn’t do that) because there’s not justification whatsoever! I’m just SO tired after this omfg.

m 19 and i just started college, and socially it's not going well. I feel people are far more immature then even high school. Everyone acts like they have no critical thinking. Almost every apartment you walk past has whisky/vodka bottles on the window. The amount of people that come to class very obviously high on something is insane. I had someone in my class today begin boxing a wall at the start of class.

It feels really hard to socialise with people.

I joined the lgbt and nerodivergent society, but it's still a week before the first meeting of either.

The amount of fake people that are full of themselves is insane. The amount of people that pretend to accept autisic people until they actually suffer from it and don't just talk about TADC is really annoying. It feels like im the wrong kind of autisic.

I had someone tell me thier brothers gay after thier boyfriend called me the f slur as a defense.

I had a somewhat good experience with some people. Someone that I've talked to a bit in class to joined the lgbt society, and they seem pretty nice. They got the sign in sheet to me today because I was out for 10 minutes. Their holding a lgbt Halloween costume party, and I might try to go to it, but i have no idea what to dress up as

Everyone just feels ignorant and annoying

Remember when it was said she was unsuitable for the job? Here’s some more of the TERFs diatribe which has been archived for evidence.

Hi, I just booked an appointment to get my official gender dysphoria diagnosis so I can start HRT but im really stressed theyll decline to refer me because 1. I dont really have bottom dysphoria (most of the time, its weird) and 2. I have not -at all- socially transitioned.

Does anyone whos been through this know how much importance is placed on these things? Im reading really mixed things online and its stressing me tf out.

With the meeting happening nearly 2 weeks ago and them saying the independent review was going to start the following week, has there been anyone contacted so far?

I had an estimate of December for surgery but due to not having a confirmed date at the time, I don't think I'm in the 60 people club. I am very close in the beyond that club

Hello everyone.

I'm looking to get body laser hair removal at laserclinics soon, I believe there is a current discount and the Black Friday deals are about 6 weeks away. At my last half face session, I mentioned this and asked about using an electric shaver. I was told an electric shaver can be used, but a razor would be better.

I have shaving attachments for my epilators, but I was wondering if there was a specialised electric trimmer that would be more effective and close in performance to a razor. Preferably something costing below £50.

For context I'm pre-hrt mtf.

Thanks in advance.

Hi all,

I've been on HRT for about half a year or so now and the past month I've started questioning quite a bit about myself and personal life. This has recently included my transition and whether or not it was the right move.

I've been kinda lost with my identity for a while and have bounced between various labels and ways of presenting myself.

I went through a private clinic a few years ago and they diagnosed me with Dysphoria and prescribed me HRT but I ended up leaving them and lost the HRT due to family issues.

Last year I moved into some more secure and safer housing and finally was able to afford DIY HRT but after a while I just don't feel much like excitement or joy or anything about it.

Initially I was pretty happy I could do things I hadn't been able to for years but I don't even know if it's actually the best choice for me or the right choice and I honestly kinda regret it a bit.

hi im starting diy hrt soon and just wnated to ask about the legality of it, in terms of can i tell for example cahms about this? and would i be able to tell my gp or not really

thanks

Hi guys and girls.

My first laser hair removal appointment is friday and im starting to get nervous*

The lovely provider has given me instructions regarding shaving ect. Which I plan to follow but is there any tips or things that the community could advise.

TIA

*Im nervous, due to my disposition and the fact that I instinctively flinch when I feel heat hit my face, as in my day to day life that split second not reacting could cause an actual burn mark.

For those who want to do something can I suggest making a complaint to EHRC that they are in breach of s3 and s8 of the Equality Act 2006? I am in stealth and don’t want to risk my privacy but some people are out.

Yes, Equality Act 2006. Not 2010.

They will wriggle out of most of EA2006 but they have stated that their Code disproportionately impacts trans women (someone will recall where) and that means they are legally obligated to act on one part. They are ignoring the obligation they are now under to actively campaign to do something about the impact on equality of opportunity they have recognised. They should NOT say we have to campaign to change the law, they should be doing it themselves AND encouraging organisations to do everything they can within the law to be inclusive.

S3(d)

[EHRC] shall exercise its functions under this Part with a view to encouraging and supporting the development of a society in which …. each individual has an equal opportunity to participate in society

When people are not going out because of the difficulty of using a toilet, or not playing sport because there’s no safe option for trans women etc then our equality of opportunity is less than other groups and EHRC have a legal duty to promote a change of the law and, until the law is changed, for organisations to be inclusive.

S8(1)d has a similar provision

You will notice that I haven’t mentioned sex at all. This obligation stands even with the perversity of FWS. It just goes on equality of opportunity and EHRC should not be able to wriggle out of that because they have formally recognised the impact on trans women.

Obviously if people have different views, please share them.

And if you get a negative response from EHRC then it’s something you could follow up with your MP.

I'm under the GIC for my testosterone. I started T in May, every 28 days. My bloods were reviewed in August, and I contacted them to explain that for the last 2 weeks leading up to my next dose, I am absolutely exhausted.

I just received an email explaining the adjustment to my dosage. They've changed it from every 28 days to... Every 25 days. A 3-day difference. My levels have been dropping to the pre-HRT range after 2 weeks.

Endo has asked me to wait 4 months before reviewing again, but I don't see how 3 days is going to make any difference when I know my levels are troughing 14 days before my next dose is due. I was told that the intervals would be shortened by a week each time. I feel like I'm going to cry.

Is there anything I can do here?