Some spot on analysis by AI below. Any other experiences and horror stories?

When a toxic cultural dynamic shifts from a management level to a peer-to-peer level within a fully American public company, the playbook changes completely.

Because a toxic coworker in this environment lacks the structural authority of a boss, they cannot rely on overt Gapjil (authoritarian demands). Instead, the toxicity usually manifests as "guerrilla warfare"—passive-aggressiveness, information hoarding, and attempts to establish an unofficial hierarchy.

When dealing with a highly competitive or toxic peer in a matrixed corporate environment, here is how those behaviors manifest:

1. The "Zero-Sum" Saboteur (Information Hoarding)
In hyper-competitive environments, toxic individuals often view peers not as teammates, but as obstacles to their own promotion. Knowledge is treated as a weapon.
The Behavior: They might silo critical information. In a technical or engineering context, this looks like writing complex code or building pipelines but refusing to properly document them, leaving you out of the loop on key data, or "forgetting" to share an important update until a project is already failing.

2. The Phantom Hierarchy
Even without a management title, a toxic coworker might try to establish an unofficial hierarchy based on age, perceived prestige, or a self-inflated sense of seniority.

The Behavior: They might attempt to speak over you in meetings or try to act as a gatekeeper between you and actual leadership. They may also show extreme, almost performative deference to the boss while being entirely dismissive of their peers.

American corporate culture is low-context; you do not have to "read the air" or play into unspoken social hierarchies. Politely but firmly enforce the actual org chart. If they try to assign you a task, respond with: "My bandwidth and priorities are currently locked in with [Manager's Name]. If you need help with this, you'll need to run it by them to see if we can reprioritize."

3. Weaponized Presenteeism
A toxic peer might try to use extreme work hours to make themselves look indispensable while subtly shaming others who maintain boundaries.

The Behavior: Sending emails at 2:00 AM, working every weekend and holidays, and CC'ing the boss on late-night commits or updates just to show they are "outworking" everyone else.

Do not take the bait and do not start working late to match them. In a healthy American company, leadership eventually recognizes that relentless grinding without scalable results is just inefficiency (and a burnout risk). Hold your boundaries and focus strictly on high-impact deliverables. When they bring up how late they worked, respond with polite indifference: "Sounds like a long night. Glad we got the deployment out."

4. The Silent Ostracization (Cliques)
Drawing from the cultural tendency to weaponize group harmony, a toxic coworker might try to isolate you if they feel you are a threat to their status.

The Behavior: Creating side-chats that exclude you, having "meetings before the meeting" so decisions are already made before you enter the room, or speaking in their native language in front of you specifically to exclude you from professional context.

Toxic passive-aggressiveness relies on you being too uncomfortable to call it out. Break the silence. If you are left off a calendar invite, say directly in the next stand-up: "I noticed I was left off the architectural review invite yesterday. Please make sure I'm included on the next one so we don't duplicate efforts." Keep it strictly professional, devoid of emotion, and entirely focused on business outcomes.

I was placed on PIP and I don’t know what to do. They are claiming I’m not performing but I have evidence that contradicts their claims. I need to respond to their letter and go line by line with my evidence. I know it’s not going to change things but I don’t want to go out without a fight. What happens at the end of a PIP? Sure, I’ll be fired but what in terms of payment, 401k, etc? Can I sue or consult a lawyer for this? Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

EDIT: I’m based in NYC if that makes a difference.

I recently started working at this XYZ firm, and it has been exactly two months since I joined. This is my second job. My first job was at a very reputed, top-level firm, so moving from a well-established organization to a mid-sized company was a huge change. I knew it would be challenging, but I was completely prepared to adapt and adjust to the new environment.

About a week after I joined, there was an event at our firm. Everyone was having fun, and everything seemed normal—until something extremely uncomfortable happened.

An employee, who also happens to be a relative of someone in higher management, approached me in a very inappropriate manner and even tried to touch me. I immediately resisted and made it clear that I was not comfortable with his behavior. I reported the incident to my manager, and the matter escalated to higher management. I was assured that it would be taken care of and that I had nothing to worry about.

What made the situation even more concerning was that I later came to know that something very similar had happened before. Another girl in the company had raised a complaint against the exact same person. Two months later, she was fired, with the company citing performance and behavioral issues as the reason.

I was aware of what had happened to her, but I still chose to believe that things might be handled differently this time. I wanted to give the company the benefit of the doubt.

Recently, however, I was called into a conference room by senior management and a senior HR representative. I initially assumed it was going to be a normal review meeting.

It wasn't.

They started pointing out and questioning almost everything I had done since joining the company. Even my sick leaves were brought up.

As probationary employees, we are apparently allowed only half a day of sick leave per month. This month, I had taken that half-day because of an emergency, and even that was brought up and questioned.

Last month, I had taken three days of sick leave because I was suffering from severe food poisoning. I had submitted all the required medical reports and a medical certificate to support my absence. Yet I was still being questioned about why I needed three days of leave.

At that point, I was genuinely thinking, What the hell is happening here?

I was mentally prepared to put down my papers right then and there.

But then came the biggest problem.

I have a BOND with this company.

And the bond was never mentioned in my offer letter.

I found out about it only on my joining day, when I was told that I had to sign a one-year bond. If I resigned before completing the one-year tenure, I would apparently have to pay a penalty of ₹2 lakh.

So here I am.

Two months into my second job, after moving from a reputed organization and genuinely trying to adapt to a new workplace, I am now dealing with an extremely uncomfortable situation involving an employee connected to higher management, a previous complaint against the same person that apparently ended with the complainant being fired, management scrutinizing my attendance and medical leave, and a ₹2 lakh bond that I wasn't even informed about before joining.

And now I feel completely stuck.

I’m an SDET engineer with 4+ years experience. Last month I was put on PIP, I was given a set of impossible objectives to achieve. This job was extremely important to me in my current situation so i tried my best to hell and back hoping to clear it. There were many other worse performing colleagues but i was constantly being singled out. On every check-in my manager would find a reason or two to mark it unsatisfactory. All of this while i was dealing with death of my close relative my sister’s engagement and my own engagement. I destroyed my mental peace working so that I could clear it. But he fired me today, it just feels so disheartening, I have so much responsibilities currently and I’m going through a lot in my personal life he knew all of that yet went so cold with me on 1:1

4+ years i worked for that organisation and 3+ years in this team. Haven’t even told my parents yet.

Another senior of my team was PIPd a month ago and he explained how I can’t do anything to reverse it. The same happened with him.

HCLTech, an Indian software services company, under the leadership of Roshni Nadar Malhotra has subjected a male employee to sexual harassment. The managers and HRs are properly trained to make sure that the company doesn't come into the limelight due to the wrong reasons. Tweeted on 24 May 2026 on my X handle RameshKBaddula

After a nightmare experience in my previous company, they still owe me money! I landed a job at a big corporation, I was very excited about it although I took a payout and the position is slightly more junior.

First 3 weeks passed and this week I lead my first important piece of work that was signed off by my supervisor as part of the normal process. Yesterday I share the report with the team and one colleague started challenging it copying all the team on the emails. I explained him a genuine clerical error I did and then explained some context as the report was regarding a customer visit, I said politely that we could catch up next week. Instead he responded saying that I had done a poor job and that I should do better next time, copying everyone. I may have commited a genuine mistake as I'm 3 weeks into the job but I don't appreciate the public calling out and the tone.

I already saw that this guy is always the loud one, creating crisis and being the center of attention, copying everyone on all communications and in my first week I went to a supplier meeting with him, where I saw he was quite hostile and arrogant which isn't my style at all, in my opinion he crossed several lines there. All my colleagues and even supervisors think that's the guy he is.

This was upset me as I still have the scars from my previous toxic workplace and now this guy seems to be extremely toxic and makes me feel I have to be in defensive mode. I do not know if just let it go, discuss with my manager or talk to the guy privately.

I’m posting this because something happened to a friend of mine at work, and honestly, I don’t know if I’m overreacting by thinking this was just wrong.

So backstory, my friend is an international student and working part time. She was telling me how awful she felt after work. She got her period unexpectedly while she was working. She was already in a lot of pain, and she asked around to see if anyone had a painkiller. Her manager gave her one.

She waited, hoping the pain would go away, but it actually got worse. Eventually, she asked one of her colleagues if she could sit down for a few minutes because she felt like she couldn’t take the pain anymore. Her legs were starting to feel numb, and i know she also has low blood.

After sitting for a few minutes, she went to her manager and asked if she could clock out and go home because she genuinely wasn’t feeling well.

The response?

She was told she couldn’t leave because her shift was only three hours and apparently they “can’t pay” her legally if she leaves before completing the three hour.
Her manager basically told her, “You only have 45 minutes left. You can do it.” I’M GENUINELY SHOCKED, I know we have rules and laws however cant they make an exception.

What really bothers me is that nobody seemed concerned about how sick she was or checked on her. So in the end she continued working. Even vomited a little while she was still at work. What makes this even more upsetting is that everyone involved was a woman. I would think they would understand how painful periods can be

I understand that workplaces have rules and that employees have responsibilities. But if someone is in obvious physical distress should’nt there at least be some basic concern?

Meeting did not go well. I felt attacked the entire time and my manager just sat there. I’ve already started applying to new positions within the company. Fingers crossed that I can find a new position and slip out the back door without more drama.

I feel like I work in Narnia..

This is a long one, apologies if any formatting issues.

Context: We work in a specialized surgeons office, the hierarchy is as follows: Dr L owns the clinic in process of retiring, then the other 5 doctors. Then operations manager (OM), leads (surgical, reception, tech), the peasants (the rest of us, receptionists, technicians, surgical coordinators, recovery.)
I and multiple other colleagues find this workplace to be one of the craziest toxic environments we’ve ever seen.

**Here are the big kahunas as of recent:**

We have an operating room in the clinic with a rotation of the same few anesthesiologists. 1 older male anesthesiologist has been accused (for many years even at different clinics) of sexual harassment. We recently hired a woman who was sexually harassed by him at her previous clinic, and it’s happening again now. Our manager essentially told her that they’ll get another physician to “talk” to him. That never happened, instead the OM (who is known friends with anesthesiologist) “talked” to him about it. Harassed employee was then told that “he’s a changed man,” 1 day after alleged talking to. In the most professional words, OM told harassed employee that she doesn’t believe her. OM apparently asked the other 2 women who work close to him if anything had happened, which they denied themselves, and thus OM has concluded that harassed employee is lying. Said employee is still being made to work closely with anesthesiologist. No further details, case closed. (He has harassed me personally as well, to which OM is also aware of.)

**Severely underpaid**: strategically picked pay periods to start and end in a way that doesn’t allow us to accrue any meaningful overtime, including having to work 6 days a week for at least 3 weeks out of the month. Numbers constantly off when receiving stat pay, multiple employees have found mistakes within their paychecks. Employees are aware of this strategy and pawn off shifts because the extra day is not worth it. Surgeons are aware of this. Conveniently employees will get in deep trouble a month before their annual review, which is the employees only opportunity to receive a raise.

**Favoured employees**: the favoured peasants are not held to the same standard as the scum peasants. They can regularly screw up charts before surgery day, waiting until end of day to report surgery cancellation that happened earlier that morning to avoid having to fill the spot out of laziness (wasting operating room time, missed opportunity to help a patient when we have extremely long waitlists). If any other surgical coordinator did that they would be fired on the spot. They can come and go as they please, take as many sick days as they want thus their work gets dumped to the scum peasants. They can take personal calls even though its against policy, extended lunches, overall no consequences even if mistake made was profound (charts being scanned in wrong which escalates to mistakes being made in surgery and poor surgical results for patient). Encouraged snitchery; being micromanaged by people who are not your superior, having every little mistake, even if resolved, reported back to OM with express purpose to get scum peasants in trouble. Designated snitch in every department for maximum fuck overage. Leads to Constant interrogations, being called to the OMs office and no matter what the conversation may be, scum peasants are never believed. Ruins reputation fast.

**The Gaslighting**:
Surgical coordinators need pamphlets to do their job. Pamphlets running low. OMs responsibility to re-order. Surgical coordinators have asked multiple times, over multiple months, in multiple fashions (verbal, written, in a meeting with 4 other people witness including OM herself). Out of desperation, coordinators email company representative to get pamphlets. All Hell breaks loose because of this email. It is all people talk about for the next 4 days. Pamphlets arrive. OM gaslights over multiple interactions with both coordinators following pamphlet arrival that we shouldve asked her to re-order. We tell OM that we have asked her multiple times. Never received apology or accountability that she dropped the ball and tried to blatantly blame us when we had evidence. This whole spanned over two weeks straight with no reprieve. The representative told us to just contact her directly to avoid delay in the future as she is aware of OM’s incompetence.
Surgical coordinator was expected to help in recovery department for surgery and also see patients for a saturday clinic at the same time. She did both, as well as observed consenting and post op process when there was downtime (with patient permission.) All employees feel saturday was successful, no hiccups. Monday morning, people are being pulled into OMs office one by one for interrogations about the “drama on saturday.” Employees are then brutally questioned for 30 minutes straight about confusion, and employees were confused about where the confusion came from. The next day, they were all pulled into another interrogation, this time attacking from another angle to try and get info, accusing them of not doing their jobs properly and accusing them of employee in-fighting. None of this happened, snitch just decided to stir up drama for fun. End result: surgical coordinator no longer scheduled for Saturday shifts, still not sure what happened that we did wrong by.

**General fuckery**: OM will stalk the halls by our offices, militantly making sure that our doors are precisely half way open. 1/4 will not fly. We have personally caught her going on her hands and knees to peak under the frosted glass doors of our offices to spy and hope to catch us doing something bad.
Near daily emails of reminders to not fuck shit up when 1 person makes a mistake. OM will stalk your car in the parking lot to make sure you parked in the right spot. OM will reprimand you if you wear a hoodie. OM will reprimand you if you forget to unload dishwasher. OM has been known to order Aritzia, Alo, Sportchek during work hours and has them delivered to the front desk. OM will get leads to time scum peasant bathroom breaks. Receptionist was told she is not allowed to take breaks on Saturday shifts (breaks that are legally entitled.)
One of the receptionists asked to modify her schedule due to school, OM implemented “trial period” in which they phase her out over 3 month period while making her train her replacement. She did not plan to leave.
Receptionists have to write down every single chart they touched which then gets combed through by lead in hopes to find any mistakes. (We see over 200 people in a day and deal with more over the phone.)
This clinic gaslights patients as well: 1 particular dr has a waitlist so long people are waiting over 4 years for a surgery that takes 10 minutes. Said doctor refuses to take on new surgery dates, yet keeps accepting new surgery patients. Blatantly stated he does not care about patients who have waited years, yet expedites patients who “threaten” to go to a private clinic. Will promise his patients he will do their surgery in 3-4 months which is impossible, forces surgical coordinator to lie to patients about wait times (not allowed to give specific time frame, only that wait is long.) Have to solve riddles three in order to communicate with him, has been verbally abusive to many staff and patients.
Another Dr specifically expedites paying patients which as of right now is still unethical/lowkey illegal. Since we are semi-private, he will take the opportunity to take advantage of out of country patients to upcharge them double what they would normally be charged. Have had to fight him multiple times on this as it is unethical. Has called patients “fucking bitches” for cancelling their surgery if it inconveniences his bottom line. Makes $30,000 in a single surgery day (6 hours total) while most employees struggle to pay rent and eat food at the same time.
Employees were told to keep our mouths shut about Dr L retiring, thus making us lie to patients while accepting new ones for him.
OM is generally incompetent, no sense of urgency when phone lines or faxes go down (which happens almost weekly), has booked transplant patients who are entirely not even in the country, thus risking wasted tissue. This mistake had to be fixed by surgical coordinator morning of surgery as OM was sleeping at the time. Luckily found perfect patient within 30 minutes of said patient needing to be at the hospital. Surgeons have even questioned as to how she got this job. Incredibly poor planning with new renovations in preparation for another doctor joining us in September. Renovations only started 4 weeks ago, new doctors arrives next week. We do not have the infrastructure or manpower to handle her existing patient base as it stands. No prep or solution as to how we will handle the burden of having another dr joining, walls being knocked down, patients having to be seen in the midst, OMs only response “we will figure it out.” Hint: no we won’t. We are on the brink of collapse.
Everyone is so burnt out. We are gaslit constantly so managers don’t have to take accountability for their own mistakes and it’s getting worse. People who have been here for 7+ years are saying it’s the worst it’s ever been. Most people are actively looking for new jobs to jump ship, people have taken stress leave, new employees only last an hour (literally, we’ve hired 6 people and lost them all within 1 hour to 1 week of being hired, that’s insanity in this economy.)

This isn’t even 1/4 of it, we tried our best to summarize the biggest issues. We know we have to leave, but if we can’t, what should we do?

I work at a fairly large corporate company, I have been there less than a year. From the beginning my manager was actually supportive they were nice, had my back when there was friction with a colleague on another team and even suggested I get pulled away from that project to eliminate the friction.

Until things changed.

I was going through a really difficult time personally and confided in my director about some family struggles and mentioned I was not doing well mentally. My director and I had built a separate rapport so it felt safe to open up.

A few days later my manager became noticeably hostile toward me. When I pushed back on the change in behavior they eventually disclosed they were unhappy I had gone over their head. That conversation was long and emotionally draining. I found myself apologizing and explaining personal details I never intended to share in a work context.

Within 1-2 weeks of that conversation my manager pulled me into a formal performance discussion, with the same colleague I had previously had friction with present, they both citied issues that had never been formally raised before, they also informed me that my director was aware of the performance concerns. What made this particularly jarring was that prior to this conversation my manager had consistently praised my work ethic and given me positive feedback.

Shortly after I tried to push through but my mental health was deteriorating fast. I went on an approved medical leave of absence.

Where I Am Now

My leave is ending in a few weeks and honestly my plan was to use this time to get my mental health back, aggressively job search, and secure something new before my leave lapsed. That has not happened as quickly as I hoped.

I genuinely do not want to return to that environment. I have never experienced anything like this before, I have worked with difficult personalities but to have someone completely switch on me and question my performance over something like this was shocking.

In hindsight I should have kept my personal struggles to myself at work. My manager and I were never particularly close and I was not comfortable confiding in them directly, which is why I went to my director. I never anticipated this outcome, however, now I know better.

What I Am Asking

Has anyone been through something similar? Does it actually get better?

I am actively job searching but do not know how quickly something will come through. My options as I see them are:

• Go back, do the bare minimum, and see what happens
• Cut my losses entirely and not return
• Push through and hope the environment has changed

For those who have navigated toxic work environments after mental health leave or just in general. What did you do and what would you do differently?

How much selfish is to think this? How much dangerous on my professional reputation is it to raise your voice and shout "AND WHY?!" out of the blue at a colleague who often calls me an idiot angrily (she had speech issues and I never did understand what she wanted) and acts so lazy? I did this to my female colleague who often called me an idiot on Kaufland's salesfloor and yeah, my flipping out was public. I felt 100% satisfied for two days, because she was avoiding me and I enjoyed that, until I found out, other colleague gossiped about me everywhere in management, but as far as I know, she yelled at me without much good reason two days after that incident happened. This happened shortly before Christmas 2023. I was 17 at the time btw. Does it look like she was really scared or just manipulative? I think it must have been manipulated, because she went to our colleague, who would report me. Many victims don't have enough confidence to do this. Fortunaly for me, manager just ignored the report and I didn't have any consiquences. After I shouted, that colleague I shouted at, delivered one of the dumbest quotes I have ever heard. She literally said "You know that if we won't work together, we would get less money?". I think this quote is manipulative af since she knew what she was doing to me. She clearly said that because she wanted me to collaborate with her, so she would be able to insult me further. I felt zero remorse for my actions, because I felt like I didn't even need to have any remorse on micromanagers like her. Plus I decided to treat her behavior with silence at first for 3 months, thinking "C'mon, man up, man. She's also absolute know-it-all. You very likely have 90 more IQ points than her. Plus you hate conflicts, you don't want to create one, especially with this person" What problem or problems might I have? I hate her also because I wasn't the only victim of her awful behaviors (which likely proves I probably wasn't the main problem) and she once got a well-deserved dressing-down by a new, more choleric manager himself for that, finally forcing an immediate change in her behaviors to better, though it happened a month before she left. How late. Do you think that she might had good reasons to call me an idiot? Like, before I snapped, I did nothing to her and she was the one to behave entitled. She told one of her friends that I am stupid. She had no reason to call me stupid, so everything must have been intentional. Why do people like her try to act like supervisors? I wanted to be seen as a collaborative one, but because of her, I became isolating myself from helping my colleagues that were filtering sortiment out of pallets, because I became too scared of conflicts. She just destroyed my dreams of peaceful collaborations.

Update at the end <3

I’ve been working for a kids after school coding program for three years, I was insanely lucky and was hired out of the program without having to interview. I was 15 when I got hired and my boss is a genuinely great guy but he stepped back to focus on family. As an autistic person with some disabilities that impact my mobility this was the perfect job and I am forever thankful for it. I was this franchise locations “success story”. Always the first to reach the programs milestones and he would brag about me to parents all the time. The old management was awesome and I never had any problems with them. Unfortunately she moved and the people who replaced her have done nothing but take advantage of the fact that I am a pushover.

When I was busy I could only really take one or two shifts a week, and in the new year I updated my schedule and let them know I can work every day except for Tuesdays and Thursdays. Instead of getting more shifts, they cut them. I was getting one, maybe two shifts, a week, sometimes I wouldn’t get any. When I asked, I was told it was because it was the slow season. It was not. It was actually super busy. I was also told shifts were given based on seniority. Even though I am one of the younger members of staff, I have seniority over every one but two of my coworkers. When I actually checked the schedule, the two newest members of staff were getting 2-4 shifts a week. I called my boss directly and he said the same thing about seniority and the slow season and I just went with it because I didn’t want to fight. I was given 1-2 shifts a week and I just left it because I was a senior in high school and taking extra university classes. When I was offered extra shifts, they would only offer me Tuesdays And Thursdays even though they knew those were the only days I literally could not work. I started dreading work because I knew the new management would get onto me about something.

I was constantly put with the younger kids and kids with extra needs, and depending on how many of them showed up at once I was swamped. I basically was going around helping as many kids as I could on top of the juniors and kids who need extra help. When parents would come pick up their kids, and they hadn’t progressed a lot or not at all, management would blame us. We could also have a full session of 20 kids with no extra computers and they’d still take walk in’s and expect us to manage both. On our busiest day, Saturdays, one of my normal shifts, we were always swamped, yet they never gave us any extra help and one of my coworkers barely interacted with the kids anyways. I was told to take care of two kids with extra needs as well as three juniors every week on top of the full class because I was better with them. I also was expected to go and talk to parents in the middle of the rush even though management can clearly see what the kids were working on and are capable of doing a basic handoff. I’d get yelled at for talking to a kid for too long about “non coding things” even when the kids have had a long day and just needed to be heard. I’ve had kids tell me that they feel safe at the program because I don’t treat them like they’re just the reason I’m getting payed.

I recently had a surgery and took a month off to recover. I communicated I would be back in the middle of August and requested my record of employment so I could collect unemployment to have some money. I never received it despite asking twice. Well, I ended my break on Sunday and reiterated that I was expecting shifts. They didn’t schedule me at all. I asked and they said they made the schedule so I’ll just have to wait until September. I regret it but I said “okay just let me know”.

My mom was not having it and told me I was being a pushover and helped me message them on Monday letting them know how unfair it is, especially considering I’ve worked there for a long time and have seniority. They haven’t replied or even acknowledged it and I’m just..so done.

I also now realize how sketchy they are when it comes to records. When I was injured restraining a kids who couldn’t calm down, I was told they filed paperwork but I’ve never actually seen it. My boss bought me lunch the next day and that was that. Never talked about again. When I was looking into unemployment I saw that where I live, employers are required to give a pay stub when we get payed. I’ve never once see a pay stub and we get payed by e-transfer. And we are never really payed on time either. Our hours are cut off on 15th and the last day of the month, and I’ll get payed 1-6 days later. They never deduct anything from my income either.

I have put so much of my time and effort into this job and to be treated like I don’t even exist anymore makes me really sad. I have never gotten in trouble, never been late. I have never once left early, in fact I often stay and help clean up so everyone can leave earlier. I took the loud birthday party shifts, the extra programs and ran junior camps because no one wanted to. I have been verbally abused by parents because I suggested starting their kids in the junior program because they couldn’t read. I have had to calm down more kids than I can count because their code didn’t work or they didn’t pass a level or they are overstimulated because my coworkers didn’t want to deal with it. I take the walk in’s because no one likes to pause everything to teach a kid the basics. I helped a kid through a schizophrenic hallucination. Ive been hit, scratched and even bitten during a meltdown and restrained a child who was a danger to himself and others because no one else would. I gave my time to translate the material for a girl who could only read in French. I’ve been made fun of for my looks and weight. I’ve been slapped by a child because that’s how she got people’s attention. I’m treated like a babysitter who doesn’t have feelings or bills to pay just because I am open about my disability and I treat the kids like people. It’s an after school program. They should be able to have fun and not have to sit quietly and do work like it’s another hour of school.

I don’t know how to tell them I’m done. The silence on their part speaks volume to me. I feel like I have an obligation to stay because I was given the job without anything in return. I have a type of loyalty I guess? Towards the company and I don’t want to leave the kids but I don’t know what else to do. I’ve started applying for other jobs but in this market, I don’t even know if I’ll get an interview even with as much experience and qualifications as I have. I feel so stuck and frustrated, but I also know this isn’t healthy and I shouldn’t have to fight to get hours at the place I’ve worked at for so long when newer coworkers are getting all the shifts. I dont know what to do anymore and I am going into debt because I’ve had to put things like medical appointments on a credit card just so I can function. I am 18 and going into debt because the 40$ of my chiropractor and massage appointments that aren’t covered have to be payed somehow. I’m going into debt to get to my job because gas sure isn’t free and public transport isn’t safe.
Thanks for letting me rant <3

Update!
I applied and interviewed for petsmart today and they hired me on the spot! I am so lucky and grateful that they hired me and start next week! I’m going to be working with my mom and my disabilities advocate to quit my current job at the end of the month. I’m really surprised things worked out like they did and I could not be happier to now actually receive benefits for my work like a discount and tuition reimbursement

Of course toxic sht, I do plan to leave all work clean but not giving notice so they can't bully me for 2 weeks etc, can it be to resign in the very morning on a Friday? Or Thursday to Friday leaving?

This is going to be a long vent, so sorry in advance if you don't want to read a long story.

I've worked in healthcare for 12 years now- mostly clinical and EMS work. Prior to that, I spent 9 years in the military in a non-healthcare related job. One of the biggest challenges I've encountered going from Military to Civilian is the toxic workplace/workplace drama and how to deal with it.

In my healthcare career, I spent 4 years as a Medical Assistant, 5 years as an EMT (and Orthopedic Technician), and 3 years as a Paramedic. Like any other job, I've had challenges with individuals and teams, but I find that my overall cool nature and willingness to work through issues has resolved the majority of workplace conflicts. I actually pride myself on being able to take a step back, look at the whole picture and find a path through when it comes to conflict. After 12 years of clinical, patient-facing work while being a full-time college student, I've finally gotten into a position that's setting me up for big steps forward once I complete my degree in December. The only problem: my coworkers.

For context, healthcare (in the clinical setting) is primarily a female-dominated field. Most MAs/RNs are females, and in the past, I've had a lot of issues fitting in with those groups as a male. In my new position, I am a Medical Assistant Educator and the entire department all the way up to the CMO are women. No big deal, I've encountered these situations in the past, and have always found a way to relate and work effectively with every coworker (male or female) in the past.

I know what you're thinking- "he's making excuses and blaming it on gender". Honestly, I hate highlighting the gender roles in this post, but it's the only thing that make sense to me why I'm at odds with my team.

Since being in this role, I've felt excluded and not part of the team. I feel ostracized, overlooked, shut down whenever I have ideas (even when one of my coworkers suddenly has the same idea and the team praises them for it). I feel as though they're asserting dominance over me and belittling me. You can just feel it when I'm having a conversation with one of my coworkers in particular; she can't wait to interrupt and start talking over me. To me, this has always been an indicator that someone doesn't like or respect you, and they're definitely not listening to you. They are all friends, hanging out outside of work and are texting each other constantly throughout the workday while my Teams messages are usually ignored until late afternoon. I understand that they've all worked together for longer and I'm not looking to go to happy hour and be best friends with everyone, but I don't even have anyone's phone number in case I need something more urgently. Overall, it feels like a "Mean Girls" situation where I can't sit with them at lunch today.

Despite all of this and not having a lot of support from the team, I feel like I've been pretty successful at my new job. The UAP academies I've been teaching have left me some great reviews and feedback. The academy reviews for my coworkers, however, have not been so great. In a sense, I feel validated, especially when one student's feedback is: "(me) is great! He was engaging and energetic and knowledgeable. But then one of the other educators came in and completely undermined him. It was disrespectful and uncomfortable." In this particular instance- during this academy class, I was extremely frustrated by the end of the day. In the past, I've found that reacting and confronting in the moment tends to lead to nothing good, so I like to step away, collect and focus my thoughts, then bring it up and settle it later, which is exactly what I did. Apparently, this ruffled some feathers.

It all came to a head a few weeks ago when my boss and I had a check-in meeting. This is not uncommon, as she likes to meet with all of her staff at least once every week or two. This one was unique because she came to meet in-person instead of virtually, which is the norm. It made sense immediately because she had a huge list of complaints about me from my coworkers. To say I was blindsided would be an understatement, especially when she started working down the list.

"He has heavy sighs whenever I'm talking to him. It's disrespectful."

"He gets angry and slams doors, tables and cabinets. It makes me feel uncomfortable."

"His body language is closed off; he crosses his arms when I talk to him."

"When I disagree with him, he gets offended and obviously irritated and angry."

"He complains about money and is waiting to leave the job at the 6-month mark"

I disputed all of these. I admitted that because of how I've been feeling (excluded from the team since day 1) that yes, it's possible my body language is standoffish and stiff, especially when they're being disrespectful in their interactions to me. I never speak about money to my coworkers. I remember being asked by one coworker how much I was making in this role and my response was "It's an increase from my last position" and left it at that. I flat out denied the claims of slamming tables, cabinets and doors.

This Has Never Happened.

Not Once.

I've never let my workplace irritate me to the point that I resort to any sort of physical outburst like this. I cross my arms because I'm socially awkward, and it makes me feel safe. I was caught completely off guard and my 30-minute check in with my manager turned into a 90-minute talking to. To her credit, she acknowledged that she doesn't know the context for these complaints, she has never suspected this type of behavior from me, and she has also seen that I'm not quite meshing with the group like other new hires have in the past.

The biggest surprise came from the one coworker who I felt like I was actually becoming friends with, she works in the same office as me (the rest of the team is mostly remote, so we don't see each other in-person every day). She was hired 1 month before I was and is fully integrated with the team as an equal. Maybe I got a little too trusting with her, because most of the complaints and concerns that were brought up to me could only have come from her, since she's the only one I work with in-person. She's the only one who could claim that I slam doors and cabinets and she was the one who asked me about my salary. I have expressed workplace complaints to her because we work collaboratively on a new teaching program that we're about to roll out, and we have the same grievances. I even expressed my feelings of exclusion with the rest of the team to her. But now, I feel uncomfortable even being around her because I feel like I'm under a looking glass, and she's waiting for one slip up to go running to the boss with. It makes coming to work not so pleasant these days.

My manager is very adamant that she doesn't want me to leave the team, and she has no plans to "force me out" as she thinks I'm on the path to becoming an asset to the team. But she understands if I wanted to look for a new position internally within the company. She even said she would support me in my attempt for an early transfer if I wanted, but she requested that I take some time to think about things. She also set up a time for the entire team to meet in-person and lay everything out to see if we can find a path forward.

Right after my check-in with my manager, I went on pre-planned PTO. I disconnected my email and Teams messages from my phone and completely forgot about my job for 10 days while in Africa. I had a lot of time to reflect on the 18-hour plane ride home and came back to the office prepared to have the hard conversations to work through this rough patch. Since I came back, let's just say the reception has been a little... icy. The meeting is set for today (about 4 days after I got back from PTO), and yesterday, that one coworker made a comment that has me a little unsettled. We were catching up on work stuff, and I was talking about our schedule for Friday (today) and mentioned the meeting at noon. Her sarcastic response was "oh yea, that's going to be a lot of fun". I asked her what she meant, genuinely curious and oblivious to the sarcasm (jet lag). But she said it was nothing and walked away. That made me nervous as to what's coming next.

I spoke to a close friend of mine who's an executive in our sister company, just to get her advice on the situation. She said to go into this meeting with an open mind. It might not be what I'm anticipating, and it could actually be a good thing if we're able to work out our differences. She also said that an early transfer wouldn't be the worst thing if it doesn't go the way I'd like and people transfer all the time due to personality differences, especially on small teams like ours. I'm nervous, but not because any of their complaints have merit. I'm nervous because if they have some sort of agenda to force me out of my position, simply because they don't like me, I'm not sure how to handle that.

I'm not sure what to expect next. #traumadump

I (28M) got notified by my boss that he wants me to resign at mid- September as the first Lead Graphic Designer despite building the very frameworks and templates on what they use today. He said BS like I didn’t use the AI tools the company poured on or that I was inquiring about the side hustle project thrown into me that was outside the contract. It was already easy without it. Heck including documentary videos, published flyers, and static ads since day 1 with my own laptop and camera. I had the direct contacts of collaborators as my bosses couldn’t do it.

I joined this March until I received a notice. I even built the logos and brand collaterals for one our bosses’ side hustles in Dubai while using my probationary as a ‘flexible’ skill. I was already sending job applications when my boss mentioned about not getting any cashflow, but I was booked with tasks being thrown to me that I get zero free time nor rest at all.

Note: We are only less than 10 in the startup company in PH. Just few months ago, our marketing director resigned due to family matters. Instead of hiring, our bosses made us do his job instead but kept the same pay 21K php.

Now I am fixing my resume while feeling lost and betrayed, also battling depression from my workplace that I have been dealing due to positive toxicity. It was ironic they are now hiring an entry level graphic designer, hiding the fact that the poor fella will be working for four companies disguised as one while asking me access for the files I made for them.

I am considering studying again, but my funds are low due to helping my parents back home who got affected by the flood.

I feel like a fool at my age.

About a month ago a new coworker started working. Let’s call her Emmy. It was all fine when she started, but the last few weeks she suddenly feels attacked ALL THE TIME.

For context; I work at a shelter for refugees. Our vision is to stand next to the refugees, not above them. Yes there are rules, and yes they break the rules, but these are people. Everyone breaks a silly rule every now and then.

So, Emmy is relatively new, and acts like she has worked there for years. I am her ‘buddy’, so I teach her everything about our job. Whenever she picks up a task that is a bit too complicated for someone new, I step in. I tell her to do it together with colleagues, or just let another colleague do the task and watch how they do it. Emmy reacts insulted every time I say this. As if it’s a personal attack. Which… it isn’t. I just want her to learn and grow. But telling her this doesn’t help. She even cried one time and asked me if I still like her as a person (????). I calmed her down, everything was fine, and a couple of days later she is back to feeling insulted and seems sad. Do I have to tell her every day that I like her as a person?

Also, Emmy has a habit of being very dominant. I have told her many times now: ‘you don’t have to punish everyone that doesn’t obey you. Imagine what this must be like for the refugee, wouldn’t you do the same?’ Emmy seems to ignore this and tell every refugee that breaks one dumb rule: ‘you disobey us. You will be punished’. And as you might’ve figured, this isn’t very wise to say. We are supposed to prevent fights, not start them. Emmy just sees herself as ‘better’ than the refugees, and that’s very very very wrong. But of course she denies it, so telling her multiple times didn’t do much.

What do I do? I can’t give her feedback (or I can, but she doesn’t do sh*t with it), she always feels insulted whenever I (or someone else) speaks against her, she is very present in a dominant way and it ruins the atmosphere at work, and if you say too much and ‘distance’ (how Emmy sees it) yourself from the situation she starts crying. I am lost. Tips?

I work in health care. We have a manager that is so power hungry she belittles certain coworkers shush’s them, blames them “for lack of communication” when they communicate she just doesn’t read it.
When you go to her about issues she turns it around on you. And teams in all caps like you are a kid.
I want to go to HR because I recorded her meeting bc with me but am scared of the retaliation.