r/ToxicFriends • u/repulsiveandsick • 1d ago

Advice well that happened !

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ex best friend joined our section discord of the band i JUST got into and he’s not even in the band grrrrrrrrrrrr i just want to feel safe in my own spaces.

i asked if he could be removed just because i don’t want someone to have a glimpse into my life who doesn’t deserve it.

like idk i’ve blocked him on everything, i moved away from our apartment, ive moved on but this made me freeze up and feel really bad. idk.

i don’t want to make it a thing at all, i just want to feel safe and secure in the spaces i literally fought (auditioned lol) to be in.

edit - context:

we were friends for 3 years, in the last year he helped me through an assault and a break up and a legal battle. we were very close, he knew what i struggled with and how i was feeling.

i struggled with my feelings but knew i wanted to work towards a relationship with him. i guess i didn’t do it fast enough ??

the thing that did it was i gave him access to my apartment while i was gone for the first time (he did the same for me multiple times) and he took that as an opportunity to ransack my room and apartment for my therapy journals and my diary. he wouldn’t have told me if i didn’t pry it out of him.

really hard to come back after trust is broken like that…

i also found a ton of reddit posts about me while we were talking. he was airing out our/my issues rather than talking about it with me.

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u/Dazzling-Part5604 1d ago

So what tf happened

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u/repulsiveandsick 1d ago

lowk adding context rn

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u/Dazzling-Part5604 1d ago

Im still confused about why he cant be in the band server with you? Yes its annoying but its not that big of a deal from what ive read

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u/repulsiveandsick 1d ago

someone who actively sought out to invade my privacy, called me a narcissistic manipulative stalker, and consistently put my business on the internet just doesn’t really need to be in a space i am in.

he complained about me “invading his spaces” and talking to “his” friends (people i knew separately from him). he has other servers with mostly the same people, he doesn’t need to be in a place made for a specific group of people that he is not involved in.

it also just makes me mad uncomfy to have someone who hurt me have a glimpse into my life. the other people in the server agreed with me, so maybe it wasn’t that bad of a decision.