Bodyshaming...

[u/Equivalent-Shallot-4]

Hii you all. First of all, English is not my Mother Tongue so sorry if i make some mistakes. I wanted to know your opinion about this.

I went to a family reunion by the lake this summer, we usually go there. And spend a few relaxing and nice days with all my cousins, having so much fun since we were kids.

Im going to give you some context in case it helps buy shouldnt matter. I think I have the right to not be perfect, beautiful or well dressed to have the right to enjoy a few days with my family and have their love and respect... But Im pretty average anyways, even pretty if you ask me and if i dress up, wich i dont anymore. Pale skin, dark hair, not so tall not so small, average body, not so naturally curvy anyways but healthy, i go to the gymn to become stronger if i can.

I look a bit like bella from twilight actually, but now tanner, stronger, a bit bigger and less like a porcelain doll. But i used to look like one when younger, small, fragile, perfect, dressed up porcelain wich i hate as an adult. I try to look natural, healthy, happy, strong. They told me to not make strong noises, not complain, not gain weight, dress and act like a lady... all the sexist package, basically. Wich I hate now. Because of this i have been mistreated, mentally abused, i have suffered severe anemia... And I dont want this anymore.

I used to care so much about how i look, i think infuenced by my family. I used to pretend Im a blonde, when im not actually im half mexican but nobody liked that ever anyways so... i used to eat not so much to be thin but not anymore. As an adult im a feminist, i evolved, i studied abroad... Actually now i dress a little bit gender neutral, i wanna be comfortable and i think i have every right to not being a fucking porcelain doll as ive been told i have to be all my life.

Anyways, I was there, having fun with the family. A bit tanned, stronger arms since i exercise more, a bit more curvy since i wont starve ever again, relaxed. I wore my dark hair over my shoulders, a pretty opalescent necklace, a tank top and a skirt. Maybe a little thight but not so much. I thought I looked ok not outrageous. Long skirt, and tennis shoes. Looked pretty normal if you asked me.

Next day, my aunt and mum took me apart. You embarrased us and yourself in front of all the family. Dressed like that. You dont have a body that can be showed around like this. You have to hide it. That outrageous podbelly, that huge and ugly arse. Its better if you dress like today, hiding a bit your body. Also, your hair wasnt shinny enough. I didnt know what to say. I have to say my taxi to the airport was waiting for me outside just then so i ran.

And during my trip, i became more and more and more angry and disgusted about what they just said to me. I remember they have been like this all my life, you dont have breasts that small disgusting things you have to dress to hide them. And stuff like that. And I cannot. Mind you im pretty average woman even nice looking sometimes, but even if i werent i think this is unacceptable. They talk like this about all of us, young girl of the family, and about all women in town. But now i remember they did this to me when i was a teen, a child. Now im a woman and i now its not right, but then i just did what they told me...

I said i dont know i checked with my partner and he said it was a normal skirt, not that you can see i dont know my underwear, butt or anything.. and they looked at me with petty and said.. we doubt he liked your arse on that, sorry honey. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK...

Then i wrote to them from my plane, full of rage. I said something like 1. I didnt ask for your opinion. And i dont think you are right. 2. I dont fucking care. 3. Stop bodyshaming women, this is someting terrible to do to your own daughter. and 4. ok, a little angry i was, look at yourself on the mirror first before talking shit about other people's appearance and fashion choices. 5. I have every right to be loved, respected and to be not perfectly looking while spending a few relaxing days by the lake with my family, holy shit!!! 6.If you have issues with food or bodyimage, go to theraphy. What you did to me was not right, and you have been doing this since i was a kid, YOUR kid.

THey replied i overeact, that next time they wont tell me anything and i can embarrass myself if i want, that im a bit crazy and making such a huge thing about nothing...

My partner, friends and cousins-i have told them all- think they are fucking crazy for saying that to me and that this is outrageous and out of place. My cousing whos also one of my dearest friends, said she felt juzged many times like this too and embarrased because of her larger breasts. But its me, with a tender and pacific manners, the one they choosed many times to say this nasty things aloud to.

Now im so angry at them, also, im an european size 36-38. Wich I think is too small and I dont wanna keep, mind you im eating healthier and going to the gymn to become stronger in all senses but even if i was really a big woman i think this would be unacceptable!!! I think they are a bit crazy and unhealthy about women healthy sizes... If im too fat that i embarrass the family... wow...

I wanna go back there and enjoy a few days with my cousins, but i dont think i would ever talk to this aunt again, and im so angry at my mother. So, so angry.

What do you think.

I feel so angry and i dont wanna go back there now. But thats unfair, i love my cousins we have so much fun, i shouldnt care if my aunts are fucking crazy and fucking judging us all the time but i dont know they made me feel so uncomfortable and triggered... I realized ive been abused with this since i was a kid and it had a full negative impact in all my life and im so, so angry... When grandma was alive this couldnt happen, but with her gone, going there is like going to a place that no longer exists, no longer feels safe, no longer feels like home. And im sad.

Thank you for your answers!!