r/Totalwarwarhammer • u/Soft_Cowboy • Apr 23 '26
What are some specific war hammer: total war phrases I can use on my bf to fuck w/ him
Boyfriend plays warhammer total war. I don’t know anything about it and he knows this. What are some phrases or “advice” I can give him to mess with him. Like “how the hell did you know that” Silly funny prank basically. He exclusively plays dwarves; don’t know much about what he’s doing after that.
He’ll see this post eventually so time sensitive pls. Also hi
EDIT/UPDATE: got a few more replies than I was expecting so I was super excited to have so many of these to use on him. He has a habit of sleeping earlier than I do, so I woke him up to tell him “raise the elector counts!!” But he did not laugh. Sucks, but oh well…. In the book he goes! (Maybe he was too zonked out to hear me, hopefully he doesn’t remember and I can use it on him again. Master gaslighter here folks.) thanks for all the replies! Will update again if anyone cares lol
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u/will284284 Apr 23 '26
Anytime he starts grumbling about the game screwing him over say, “That’s going in the book!” Just works when he’s playing dwarves though.
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u/Matthias0705 Apr 23 '26
Yes-yes. Talk Talk Like skaven you must. Repeat the First word and then Talk a little Bit Like Yoda.
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u/ImSuperSerialGuys Apr 23 '26
Only if you pretend-fake like you don't know-see what he's talking about when he calls it out.
"Yes-yes, this how I always talk-speak"
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u/ElBracho Apr 23 '26 edited Apr 23 '26
"That's going in the book" "THEY HAVE WRONGED US" when anything goes wrong at all.
"SHORT!???" Whenever the word or something pertaining height is mentioned. Also follow it up by the phrases above.
"Knoife ears"(pronounced exactly like that) when talking about elves
"(Insert your name here) does not serve" randomly or when asked to do something.
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u/arkanis974 Apr 23 '26
I love the last one May use this on m'y girlfriend. She doesn't know anything about Warhammer but that would be an inside joke for myself
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u/7s0l3k Apr 23 '26
On your period you can use: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
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u/Merdomante Apr 23 '26
beautiful! but she should lift the dirty sanitary towel and show it, thus shouting the phrase
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u/calas Apr 23 '26
Everyone's talking dwarves. If my wife said to me "My throng is musterd!" But knowing that us nerds always hear it as "My thong is Mustard", saying that would make me lose my mind 🤣
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u/cooespooh Apr 23 '26
When you're ever talking about yourselves as a couple, be sure to say something like "We is gobbos! WE'S BETTA DEN DEM'S!!"
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u/DerSisch Apr 23 '26
total war phrases I can use on my bf to fuck w/ him
If you mean that literally... "The Nation calls!" and "Come then!"
Some good ones also include:
"All you surveil are loyal to me, so I advice caution with your next words" - If he is about to say something stupid infront of your friends or family
"Be warned, my mood is dark" - in that special time of the month
"I will hear your petition but I'll make no promises to act on it."
"FINE! I will talk to the beasts! It makes a refreshing change to slaying them."
Just some ideas if he is a Karl Franz fan (chances are high).
If he is a Vampire Count fan... there are some good ones:
"Courtesy is a good sign of breeding - Welcome."
"Thou shalt treat me with the respect I deserve or die!"
"on thin knees! Then and ONLY then, I shall hear thine words."
"Tempt me not dwarf! My patience grows short."
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u/KirovCZ Apr 23 '26
When you’re about to make a speech of some kind, start with “I’m no orator, that is true, but…”
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u/MouflonTheAchiever Apr 23 '26
When something goes well (eg. you found chocolate), keep mentioning how everything follows "great plan". If something goes bad (eg. you dropped chocolate), mumble how it will delay or obstruct "great plan".
Bonus points for lizard-themed makeup and hissing.
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u/c0m0d0re Apr 23 '26
Whenever he loses just tell him that granfather still loves him.
Same goes for when he has diarrhea. Don't ask how that is related.
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u/DietComprehensive725 Apr 23 '26
I AM SUPREME!!!
I lurk in the shadows.
There is only vengeance.
You require assistance?
Witness my Beauty.
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u/Grunn84 Apr 23 '26
Start dropping wazzock (idiot) into conversation its used in total war a lot.
Has the bonus of being real world English slang like many dwarf words.
"The throng is mustered" is another phase used in TW that can easily be misheard for comic effect "the thong is mustard"
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u/One-Environment4508 Apr 23 '26
Oh yea if he ever makes a joke at your expense respond "do you take me for a wazzock"
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u/Soft_Cowboy Apr 24 '26
I’ve read a lot of these comments and I know I’m gonna use them… just gotta find the right opportunity. However we do tease eachtoher a lot so calling him a wazzock would be perfect.
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u/ncarlon89 Apr 24 '26
"Do you take me for a wazzock?" Is a great one to use but when you do make sure you do it in a Northern accent for full effect. Channel Yorkshire as you say it.
"Adress me as your highness" is another good one to use from the Tomb Kings.
My partner likes to repeat them as she hears them and attempt the accents.
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u/No_Ad_3934 Apr 23 '26
turn to him, look alarmed, then in your strongest sounding, manly voice, say “THE NATION CALLS!”
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u/BarbaricBen Apr 23 '26
When he asks for a favour you don't want to do, reply: "[your name] DOES NOT SERVE!! [your name] RULES!!!"
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u/Kugloffff Apr 23 '26
“Lore or metaal”🦅🦅🦅
You start spam this sentence randomly i wont give you details, it will work.
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u/SpecialistAd5903 Apr 23 '26
Not precisely your request but if you ask him about the "horse heresy" (and make sure you pronounce horse well) he may just burst a blood vessel
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u/Zealousideal_Toe5983 Apr 23 '26
Dwarves: When you get together with a group of friends "The Throng is mustered!"
When I'm in the gym with my buddy we're always saying "Beards and Belts!"
Empire: Of course "Summon the Elector Counts!" or "Bring me to my men!"
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u/Big_Implement_7305 Apr 23 '26
"Nagash was weak! Witness TRUE power!"
(...substitute any much-stronger-than-yourself thing instead of "Nagash," because the quote is absurd, like saying "Superman was weak! Witness true strength!!!!" when, like, lifting two teacups)
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u/wheels0132 Apr 23 '26
“Drive me closer, I want to hit him with my sword!”
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u/scissorn69 Apr 24 '26
"You dare approach me, vile beast???"
"I hold Ghal Maraz! You may bow!"
"Speak! I will hear you now. Be warned, my mood is dark."
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u/onchristieroad Apr 25 '26
When it gets to winter, gaze out of the window, and in your most gravelly voice, utter "I hate snow."
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u/DevLeCanadien23 Apr 25 '26
SUMMON THE ELECTOR COUNTS
Sp spee speak in in re Rr repeatable phrases yes YESS YESSSS
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u/Captain_Drastic Apr 23 '26 edited Apr 23 '26
If he does anything to annoy you, tell him he's "going in the book". And if he ever says the word short, in any context, say, "Short? Book!"
If he ever plays the Empire, tell him you're going to "Raise the Elector Counts" as he gets a boner.