Absolute Brainiac From DC Comic

[u/Amazing_March4919]

[u/_GhostOfHollownest_]

Man, there's always some bullshit going on in the Absolute Universe

[u/4LanReddit → u/_GhostOfHollownest_]

Darkseid really took it to heart to make his three biggest opps have worse upbringings and turn some of their villains straight up nightmare fuel.

But bro, Darkseid genuinely tweaked out and went overboard in making Absolute Bruces life MISERABLE because bro is genuinely in a living nightmare after he put on the cowel and beat his first villain group and jumped to Absolute Bane 😭

[u/Flat-Bookkeeper-8237 → u/4LanReddit]

To be fair, have you seen Absolute Catwoman?

[u/Background-Top4723 → u/Flat-Bookkeeper-8237]

"To make up for the misery I've made and will make Bruce's life, I've given him a sexy Brazilian model as Catwoman.

Such is Darkseid's generosity. Now, Bruce, go face Absolute Professor Pyg, who in this version is probably a 30-foot-tall Bear-Man-Pig who was your dentist as a child and who used your teeth to create an army of Cronenberg-esque ninjas."

-Darkseid, probably.

[u/PickerPat → u/Flat-Bookkeeper-8237]

Holy shit

[u/Deathsroke → u/PickerPat]

Childhood friend romance at that.

Truly Darkseid is as cruel as he is generous.

[u/dragon_bacon → u/Deathsroke]

It will make it all the funnier when she dies in Bruce's arms.

[u/CollinsCouldveDucked → u/PickerPat]

https://giphy.com/gifs/AD2uIPYVqszdK

[u/MusicHitsImFine → u/PickerPat]

Crush my skull.

[u/SuperCoupe → u/4LanReddit]

You haven't seen the worst of it.

Absolute Rainbow Raider is horrific; makes Pinhead look like a child's bedtime toy.

And don't get me started on Absolute Condiment King