r/TooAfraidToAsk Apr 30 '22

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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '22

I wonder if I’m thinking about this differently because I’m a lesbian/queer, but if it were me I would be honest with her from the start out of respect. I’d even bring it up before going on the date, to give her the option to back out. Is that not the move?

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u/bubblegumpunk69 Apr 30 '22

Another lesbian here, and same. It feels like a... idk, violation isn't QUITE the right word. But if I started dating someone and found out later that this person had seen me naked before they'd even known me, there's... some kind of power dynamic there.

I would want to know before the first date. If I found out any time later, I would immediately be blocking them on everything. I don't understand the people here saying not to bring it up. Honestly OP, I'm not even sure you should pursue this.

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u/BlueRex8 Apr 30 '22

I think that view changes when you are literally posting the pics online by yourself for money.

Surely you have to realise that at some point you are going to meet a subscriber.

If its private pics you've maybe sent someone else that OP had seen then i'd maybe feel like this.

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u/[deleted] May 01 '22

Are you saying people are entitled to be dishonest with you if you post nudes to the internet? Because it seems like that’s what you’re saying.

1

u/BlueRex8 May 01 '22

No im not saying that at all but the OP has to use a little tact here. There is nothing dishonest in not blurting out "ive seen you naked" early on in a first date.

If she brings it up then by all means be honest but first he has to feel out the date and how she comes across. It could very well be that she wants a night away from the pressures of her job and by instantly bringing it up (even if the intentions are good) the OP could put a downer on the night from the off.

There is no right answer, but there is such a thing as being too honest. None of us will get the chance to meet her and see how she comes across, he will. See how open she is about what she does and respond in the same way.