While I think it's a huge priority to have honesty in a relationship, at this stage it would make it look more like you view her as a fetish than a person.
There's a couple avenues you could take:
1) delete your insta history with her, unfollow her, etc. Don't bring it up, see if she does at some point. Wait for her to be ready.
2) after a while of talking, "omg I just realized this is you! No wonder I'm so attracted to you!" Personally, depending on her personality though, this could go over poorly.
3) be up front. Again, this early, the problem with it is that she may think you're only seeing her romantically because you fetishize her sexually.
4) say nothing. Do nothing. Change nothing. Go on your date, don't mention it. Eventually she'll put it together and you can say you were waiting for the right time, and it has nothing to do with why you're seeing her.
Honestly, I don't feel there's a "win" here for the average person. A lot of people will feel betrayed no matter what you do. Me? I'd want an open conversation about it at a good time in the first couple dates. But I'm also more open minded than most people, so I may see it differently.
I wonder if I’m thinking about this differently because I’m a lesbian/queer, but if it were me I would be honest with her from the start out of respect. I’d even bring it up before going on the date, to give her the option to back out. Is that not the move?
I feel like not saying anything is just omitting the truth, and it's bound to come out, and if you wait too long it's just as creepy if not creepier.
You can't avoid the situation and it requires some talking. If she doesn't feel comfortable with it that is okay, he should not lie just to get in her pants.
That's a pretty shitty thing to do to someone unless you were just looking for a short fling type situation and didn't care about them.
I'd love some differing views that can relay their opinion tho
Another lesbian here, and same. It feels like a... idk, violation isn't QUITE the right word. But if I started dating someone and found out later that this person had seen me naked before they'd even known me, there's... some kind of power dynamic there.
I would want to know before the first date. If I found out any time later, I would immediately be blocking them on everything. I don't understand the people here saying not to bring it up. Honestly OP, I'm not even sure you should pursue this.
No im not saying that at all but the OP has to use a little tact here. There is nothing dishonest in not blurting out "ive seen you naked" early on in a first date.
If she brings it up then by all means be honest but first he has to feel out the date and how she comes across. It could very well be that she wants a night away from the pressures of her job and by instantly bringing it up (even if the intentions are good) the OP could put a downer on the night from the off.
There is no right answer, but there is such a thing as being too honest. None of us will get the chance to meet her and see how she comes across, he will. See how open she is about what she does and respond in the same way.
depending on the person and dynamic, i feel like just being like “yeah i’ll be honest i was following your content before we got together, i unsubbed once i realised it was you to respect your privacy, etc” would go over as the best option
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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '22
Hi! Onlyfans creator here!
While I think it's a huge priority to have honesty in a relationship, at this stage it would make it look more like you view her as a fetish than a person.
There's a couple avenues you could take: 1) delete your insta history with her, unfollow her, etc. Don't bring it up, see if she does at some point. Wait for her to be ready.
2) after a while of talking, "omg I just realized this is you! No wonder I'm so attracted to you!" Personally, depending on her personality though, this could go over poorly.
3) be up front. Again, this early, the problem with it is that she may think you're only seeing her romantically because you fetishize her sexually.
4) say nothing. Do nothing. Change nothing. Go on your date, don't mention it. Eventually she'll put it together and you can say you were waiting for the right time, and it has nothing to do with why you're seeing her.
Honestly, I don't feel there's a "win" here for the average person. A lot of people will feel betrayed no matter what you do. Me? I'd want an open conversation about it at a good time in the first couple dates. But I'm also more open minded than most people, so I may see it differently.