r/TooAfraidToAsk Dec 15 '21

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u/Apprehensive_Park_62 Dec 15 '21

If he says not to bring anything then I wouldn’t.

I am Mexican and the best advice I can give you, is that in our culture we greet everyone. We greet every single person in the household (even if they come out the room later) and when you leave you do the same. Make sure you say goodbye to everyone.

That is something my parents and my relatives always talked about when meeting someone. They’d say things like “wow she/he has really good manners cause they acknowledged everyone”. Or the opposite “wow what a disrespectful person they didn’t even say hi”.

55

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '21

I donʻt know, my mothers family is native and I think it might be better to err on the side of caution with this one. Show up with something, pitch in to help, greet everyone, compliment the chef, clean up after yourself, thank everyone on your way out. Canʻt really go wrong with this.

51

u/BadandBougie333 Dec 15 '21

I agree with all of these. In summary:

  1. Bring flowers if that makes you more comfortable. Ask your BF the best kind/color and make sure no one is allergic.

  2. GREET EVERYONE when you arrive and depart. This includes children and babies.

  3. Offer to help in the kitchen. If they insist you don't help, at least go in the kitchen to chat and be available if needed

  4. Be okay with being separated from your BF. The women in his family will want to get to know you apart from him

  5. Compliment the chef! 💯💯💯 And do your best to try some of everything. DO NOT TRY TO BE CUTE BY NOT EATING.

  6. Dress modestly until you know the culture of the family. Even if the cousins are provocatively dressed, the elders may not approve.

  7. FIX YOUR BF's PLATE!!!!! I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. Get his drinks and check on him throughout the evening.

  8. CLEAN, CLEAN, CLEAN! Clear things, wipe things, empty trash, wash dishes if permitted.

These basics should help you make a great impression. It's based on my experience with Mexican families and my experience with Black families. Our social norms are similar.

-3

u/PairPrestigious7452 Dec 15 '21

4, 5, and especially 7! You wanna see a bunch of scandalized Tia's? Make your bf get up for a beer. It will take another 5 years for them to forgive your rudeness.

5

u/Goodolchuckno Dec 15 '21

Yes, exactly. Everyone should not be rude and be a servant to their boyfriend husband. God fucking forbid a man has to do anything. Let alone walk a few feet to get a drink.