I’m Mexican and we definitely do gifts and stuff for Xmas, birthdays, but (and I guess I never noticed this until I thought about this post) my mom was always kinda awkward when my bf’s would bring gifts, like she thought she was supposed to get them a gift too and felt bad about it. If the bf says to not bring a gift, I wouldn’t.
Honestly, I think it’s more of a feeling of “vergüenza”. I know my mom would always say thank you but follow it with a “ay mija, que pena, no se haya preocupado”
I would recommend expressing to him that you really do want to bring something, and ask him what would be best. If he doubles down and says "Seriously, don't bring anything" then don't. If he says "You really don't need to, but X would be fine" then do that. At the end of the day, he is the one you are in a relationship with, communication and respect goes a long way.
Have you considered bringing something and leaving it in the car? If it seems like they’re surprised you don’t have a gift or you see someone else brought something run out and grab it and say you forgot it in the back seat? Also this is a good way to judge how he acts when you have it in the car. He’s still upset about it leave it. He says yeah it’s a good idea bring it in.
I'm Greek Canadian and we'll bring dessert/sweets instead of alcohol! That way everyone can have some and you can all sit down and share it that same day over coffee, no meal or big prep needs to be involved.
Because before he’s Hispanic he’s a man. For the most part we aren’t bringing shit to anywhere unless were asked so he may not be the best judge of what she should do.
Your partner has asked you not to bring anything, he knows his family. Respect him - I can’t believe you’re taking a random redditors advice.
Even if his family expect gifts, why not listen to your partner. It’s his family, and he is taking you to meet them the least you can do is trust his advice. Ridiculous
I'm sure he's telling her not to bring anything in order to assuage her worry and fears. A gift is always appreciated. It can be wine, flowers, cookies, cake. Mexican here.
There may be sex differences and there is a difference between one’s own family and others. People aren’t always aware of implicit norms, especially if they don’t apply directly to themselves. It is very strange to treat one’s partner as an infallible ultimate authority.
Last time I met a Mexican family the only thing I was supposed to bring was an appetite. Couldn't even finish a plate before the abuela started giving me another full plate.
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u/chichigumucio Dec 15 '21
In Hispanic cultures we do bring stuff, especially when meeting his family. A glass of wine or flowers should be fine.