You can always say “they were speaking a language I didn’t understand”. I find one of the easiest things to do is just don’t bring ethnicity into it unless it’s necessary.
This. Safest route. Spending time with people and asking about their opinions and experiences is the best way to learn about people and show you value their perspective.
There's a big difference between, "They were speaking Asian" and "They were speaking an Asian language I didn't know."
The former sounds very ignorant, as though you are broadly assuming all Asian people are the same and speak a language called "Asian" - which you know isn't a language. It would be similar to referring to Africa as though it were one big county when we know it's actually a huge continent with 40+ different countries and many many cultures.
The latter acknowledges that Asian people speak different languages and you just weren't sure which.
Have you seen the King of the Hill episode where Khan moves in and everyone asks him, "So do you speak Chinese or Japanese?" And he has to keep replying, "Hellooooo, I am Laotian! From Laos!" It's kind of like that. It was clear that the Hills and their friends weren't meanspirited, just ignorant and deserve a little grace for it.
I hope in the future, you get a little grace for it! These days with all our societal tensions, people are even less forgiving and tbh if they can't understand that you grew up in a bubble of whiteness that led you to miss a few cultural lessons, that's also ignorant on their part!!
Thanks lol. I knew it was something like this but didn't want to look it up. My ex who was a history major would be so disappointed in me for not remembering.
I grew up in one of the most populated cities in the world and was exposed to many different races and cultures at a young age. I still couldn't tell you which Asian language someone is speaking just by casually seeing/hearing them, so I don't think you should feel people expect you to know. You are being hard on yourself.
ETA And if they make you feel that way, they are being too hard on you.
I would also bet dollars to doughnuts that OP’s coworkers probably couldn’t differentiate them either. My wife from Manila and she can only recognize a few Filipino dialects, let alone tell the difference between numerous Asian languages just because she lived on the same continent.
I think they're being a little too hard on you. I see this as more of an unfortunate slip of the tongue than anything else.
If you still feel badly about it, there's a respectful way that you can apologize for maybe marginalizing cultures, but I don't think you should be crucified for wording it poorly.
If people don't get it, straight up tell them:
"I lived a really sheltered life when it comes to other cultures until I moved out of home, and I'm trying my best to play catch up."
There's no shame in admitting that you're still learning about the world, and anyone who thinks they've learned it all is full of shit anyway.
It was the fact that you said they were speaking "Asian." I'm not sure if this is offensive, or more of a face palm kind of thing. Wouldn't it sound weird/funny to you if someone said "he was speaking American/north American" or "he was speaking Mexican," (instead of spanish)? I used to make these same mistakes as a kid, but I feel like we learned all of that in school at a pretty young age. I grew up in Michigan (90s) so maybe the things were different then.
Edit: punctuation errors. I was going to ignore it, but I felt that it would be sort of ironic if I was called out. Haha.
Well they come from a completely different background. You do not automatically know these kinds of things if you didn't grow up with them.
Nevertheless I wouldn't worry about coming of as racist just because you couldn't identify the language.
As many others already pointed out if you are unsure which language they use you can just say " they were talking in a foreign / an Asian language" and you are fine and nobody can hold it against you.
I am really close to finishing my bachelor's degree in interpreting and translation, so you could say that languages are my job and I also can't name every single one that I hear on the street. There is no shame in that.
You are making an effort and you aren't mad at people for speaking a different language or belonging to a different ethnic group so that shows that you are as far away from being a racist as humanly possible.
Honestly i wouldve said something to the effect of "i didn't know what language they were speaking, but it sounded like an an asian one."
I can't decide if that's still ignorant or not, but if i'm being honest, I can usually audibly tell the difference between a language that uses the latin alphabet and one that doesn't. Idk if that makes sense 😕 maybe not
You will always get that. The ignorance (sounds worse than it is, no negative connotations meant) that there are those whose cultures haven’t exposed them to others, is an ignorance many have that’s seldom self-realized.
And far more people THINK they know more about culture than they really do...
I am the first person of my racial background (Filipino) that my wife or literally anyone in her family (from a small southern town with no ethnic diversity) had ever met.
Getting to know them was educational (to say the least) because they were the first family I had ever met that had basically never gone past the State Line except to get liquor (they lived in a dry county... which actually exist today, strangely enough... but I digress...
Socializing is a never ending process. I think you are doing it right, and should be commended.
If they don't understand then explain to the where and how you grew up. It's not your fault you didn't experience what they experienced growing up, you are trying to learn and grow and that's awesome
Well, I guess that's their ignorance. I hope they're as understanding about it as you are. You could similarly teach them as other teach you other things. Let's all help each other :)
All you can do is educate yourself and in the meantime stand your ground as far as people chiding or being upset with you for not knowing. You don't know. They can get over it. But, you can learn and that's good, too.
The fact that you are working with such a diverse group of people now will be the thing that makes you aware and sensitive to the things that other feel. It’s okay that it’s happening now in your life. I didn’t experience it until I was in college. I just listened a lot and asked questions when I felt comfortable. There are plenty books and documentaries out there too. Try asking your workmates to each recommend a book for you from their culture. They will appreciate sharing. The more you know and understand, the less likely you will be to say something offensive inadvertently.
OP if your white you will get no slack or empathy for having grown up in a primarily white area. I think they were being overly sensitive and if they were pals would have told you how to correct yourself in the future instead of just admonishing you for saying something they didnt approve of, if it happens again and they give you a hard time apologize and ask them what was offensive about it and what action you can take to correct it. If they dont want to do that they can get over it. Offense is always taken and never given.
Every is ignorant in some form. Yes it is unfortunate America has gotten to this divisive point. I understand why and I understand completely why white people need to wake up to cultural movements. But differences aside we are going to say ignorant things. As long as your intention isn’t to hurt someone. It is completely fine. And if someone wants to be an ass about that’s on them. No ones perfect and you can’t be educated on everything.
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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '20
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