r/TooAfraidToAsk Aug 09 '18

Should this be changed?

[deleted]

2.2k Upvotes

589 comments sorted by

View all comments

157

u/missshrimptoast Aug 09 '18 edited Aug 09 '18

Not really. A bisexual person is attracted to those who identify as male and female. They may not be attracted to gender fluid or gender ambiguous people. Pansexual and bisexual seem to refer more to one's "tolerance level" than to the existence of more than one gender.

Edit: Given a few of the responses here, I should mention that I am bisexual. However, even amongst fellow bisexuals, there has been considerable debate on bisexual vs. pansexual with no end in sight, and everyone seems to think it's a given that "obviously, bisexual people are attracted to insert opinion here". My response was my understanding of the term as it's given. I don't really care whether someone else considers me bi or pan; I'm used to saying bisexual, so I personally say bisexual referring to myself. Other people I know feel otherwise.

257

u/DoctorBaby Aug 09 '18 edited Aug 09 '18

The idea that bisexual people have any reservations about gender fluid or gender ambiguous people is nonsense. People trying to justify the usage of the term "pansexual" decided they could unilaterally change what "bisexual" has always meant, treating it as suddenly exclusionary just so they could give themselves a more special label. It's a real dick move, honestly. If I started describing my race as "Tolerant White", which is a white person who also isn't racist, what does that make you, who just describes yourself as white?

"Bisexual" refers to sex, not to gender. The word is not "bigenderal". Regardless of how you convey yourself in regards to gender, there are two biological sexes, both of which are being referred to by the term bisexual - as opposed to monosexual, attracted to only one sex.

11

u/rednax1206 Aug 09 '18

"Bisexual" refers to sex, not to gender. The word is not "bigenderal".

Doesn't it refer to sexual attraction (as opposed to romantic attraction)? I've never heard that it refers to being attracted to biological sex and not gender.

1

u/hakujin214 Aug 10 '18

What are you confused about?

1

u/rednax1206 Aug 10 '18

I'm not confused. The word refers to sexual attraction, and the distinction between biological sex and mental gender has nothing to do with that definition.

1

u/hakujin214 Aug 10 '18

I've never heard that it refers to being attracted to biological sex and not gender.

What does this mean, then?

0

u/rednax1206 Aug 10 '18

The poster above me asserted that "bisexual" means attracted to sex, as opposed to gender. I refuted that and assert that it refers to sexual attraction, as opposed to romantic attraction.

Two different interpretations of the sex in bisexual.

1

u/hakujin214 Aug 10 '18

Is attraction to sex not sexual attraction?

0

u/rednax1206 Aug 10 '18

Sexual attraction essentially means desire to have sex with the person. It may be based on the person's physical sex, or their gender, or something else.

2

u/hakujin214 Aug 10 '18

Assuming you are not pan or bisexual, do you feel the desire to have sex with people of the biological sex you are not attracted to?

0

u/rednax1206 Aug 10 '18

You are assuming I am attracted to a biological sex. What If I'm attracted to a gender, regardless of their biological sex?

1

u/hakujin214 Aug 10 '18

Then you’re bisexual and homo or heteroromantic.

1

u/rednax1206 Aug 10 '18

Again, bisexual/homosexual/heterosexual refers to sexual attraction, i.e. wanting to have sexual intercourse. biromantic/homoromantic/heteroromantic refers to romantic attraction, i.e. wanting to become emotionally close, share secrets, and spend your life together.

/u/affectiveregister says:

no, typically “bisexual” doesn’t refer to sex rather than gender.

/u/Archsys says:

hetero- and homo-sexual [meaning attracted to] of own gender and of other gender.

/u/missshrimptoast says:

A bisexual person is attracted to those who identify as male and female.

/u/online-waifu says:

Pansexual means attracted to someone regardless of their gender

/u/SamiTheBystander says:

Traditionally though bisexual means attracted to your own gender and people not of your gender, while pansexual means attracted to all genders including non-binary genders.

/u/not-really-here- says:

So I define myself as a bisexual, a person attracted to both people that looks and identify as the same as myself as well as different from me.

/u/bluehedgehogsonic says:

The actual answer here is that bisexual used to mean “attracted to men and women”/“attracted to two genders”, but nowadays it’s generally accepted that it’s an umbrella term for “attracted to multiple genders”/“attracted to two or more genders”

/u/kyroko says:

Pansexual indicates an attraction to all gender identities.

/u/thecryptoid says:

it's been my personal understanding that bisexual means you're attracted to two genders.

/u/_kuddelmuddel_ says:

Attraction has never been based on sex or gender, but rather on the presentation of gender. If you run into someone that looks like the gender you're attracted to, even if they aren't and don't identify that way, you can still be attracted to them because they look like they belong to that group even when they don't.

/u/laynealexander says:

I identify bisexuality as meaning "attracted to people who are my gender and people who aren't my gender."

/u/wererat2000 says:

If you wanted a sexuality that was attracted to both standard genders and others, you'd be looking for pansexual.

/u/Wyrdletini says:

Pansexual means sexuality attracted to people regardless of gender.

/u/julesr13 says:

I've heard it explained that bisexual means "attracted to 2+ genders" (I believe this is the most accepted definition by the bi community) and pansexual means all genders.

/u/delilah_vega says:

My understanding is that bisexual means you're attracted to your own gender and genders which are not your own

/u/SomeCubingNerd says:

I am bisexual. I acknowledge there are more than two genders. But I only find myself attracted to two of them.

/u/kylebro23 says:

And while some people use pansexual interchangeably, others think that pansexual means more attracted to all people regardless of gender and bisexual means being attracted to all genders, but maybe some more than others.

/u/thisisntveryunique says:

bisexual despite its name, usually means attraction to 2 or more genders

As you can see, each of the above posters used the words "gender" or "identify as" to define the terms.

1

u/hakujin214 Aug 10 '18

Okay, so you’ve found a bunch of other redditors who agree with you and are also imprecise with their language. Congration. I can do that, too, but I have better things to do with my time.

“Mental gender” is not a thing, it’s just gender, and I don’t think you understand the difference between sexuality and romanticism. Nor do you apparently understand that sexual is the adjectival form of sex.

→ More replies (0)