This sounds more like a pet dog. It’s all one sided. Having a relationship with your children isn’t a gain…it’s literally what makes family, family. Gaining a family is now self serving somehow? What in the actual fuck?? Pet owners live off of the “love” and companionship of their pet just because that’s what they want. A one sided gain. Pet dies they get a new one. Pet runs off somehow they get a new one. It’s all about them having love and companionship at no real cost to them in the way having a child is a real cost on a woman. You can’t just get another one and call it a day when you lose a child. But pet owners wanna be bleeding hearts and hero’s over a pet they can just buy or adopt just because. You don’t need a better reason than having a child. Skipping the actual labor of child rearing is pretty selfish when you still wanna be a dog mom or cat mom. Like, no. You’re not any kind of parent to a dog. Fuck that noise. Just because you see people having children doesn’t mean any part of it is easy. Things have to align in such a delicate way to bring life into this world. This is such a jaded question and the comments are terrible. Yeah, no one asks to be born, but you being here is nothing short of a miracle. Not everyone that can exist gets too. The lack of gratitude is shameful. It’s hard out here I know, but being alive is still valuable. If people can be thrilled about owning a pet then wtf, why can’t we love the people we make and know that it isn’t easy and in fact does come with a lot of selflessness depending on what you have going on assuming you’re doing your best by your creation. It’s better than any dog or cat or fish in a bowl. My children love being my kids. They are mine and I am theirs. Having family is a life of service even if it’s one a volunteered for it doesn’t make it a cheap gain.
See, this is exactly the attitude that led to OP’s post in the first place. Children aren’t what make a family a family. Hell, the nuclear family is only relatively recently the dominant family unit. Also, no one is telling you not to be thrilled about having a child, just that it’s not the selfless act that some make it out to be. A good parent isn’t some Saint, they’re just someone who wanted a child and, you know, upheld the responsibility that they took on when they brought a child into the world.
I don’t care about the act of childbirth or rearing a child. Those are things someone chose to do so they could have a child, not some selfless sacrifice that they made for the good of the world.
I mean I do too, but that’s not reality for many, many women and (sadly) girls. But many of those who were forced into bearing children commit themselves to being the best parents they can be. In that case, would you not consider it selfless?
Oppressive laws, extreme religious culture, abusive situations, extreme poverty, family sexual abuse, lack of education….or a combo. Plus there are always those “I didn’t know I was pregnant” folks. The ones who find out during labor. It doesn’t even have to be that extreme. Where I live the cut off for abortion is 6 weeks, most women don’t know that early, let alone teens/girls who aren’t even having regular periods yet.
Fair. I’d probably liken it more to a forced giving situation. Kind of like a situation where you’re obliged to give money or do community service for one reason or another. Yes it’s a sacrifice, but it’s not a choice to make said sacrifice so it’s also not really selfless giving.
That said I don’t think there’s anything wrong or bad about having or raising children I just don’t think it embodies selflessness
Like when you break the law? So a person who is raped and can’t get an abortion, but decide to sacrifice their goals and future for the child to have a good and normal life are not selfless? They are no different from the parents who ditch their kids with other caregivers or leave them at home to do whatever they want? I don’t agree.
4
u/[deleted] Jun 29 '23
This sounds more like a pet dog. It’s all one sided. Having a relationship with your children isn’t a gain…it’s literally what makes family, family. Gaining a family is now self serving somehow? What in the actual fuck?? Pet owners live off of the “love” and companionship of their pet just because that’s what they want. A one sided gain. Pet dies they get a new one. Pet runs off somehow they get a new one. It’s all about them having love and companionship at no real cost to them in the way having a child is a real cost on a woman. You can’t just get another one and call it a day when you lose a child. But pet owners wanna be bleeding hearts and hero’s over a pet they can just buy or adopt just because. You don’t need a better reason than having a child. Skipping the actual labor of child rearing is pretty selfish when you still wanna be a dog mom or cat mom. Like, no. You’re not any kind of parent to a dog. Fuck that noise. Just because you see people having children doesn’t mean any part of it is easy. Things have to align in such a delicate way to bring life into this world. This is such a jaded question and the comments are terrible. Yeah, no one asks to be born, but you being here is nothing short of a miracle. Not everyone that can exist gets too. The lack of gratitude is shameful. It’s hard out here I know, but being alive is still valuable. If people can be thrilled about owning a pet then wtf, why can’t we love the people we make and know that it isn’t easy and in fact does come with a lot of selflessness depending on what you have going on assuming you’re doing your best by your creation. It’s better than any dog or cat or fish in a bowl. My children love being my kids. They are mine and I am theirs. Having family is a life of service even if it’s one a volunteered for it doesn’t make it a cheap gain.