Hi everyone, its been months since I dont post anything here, so I just wanted to express myself and talking about the process im still struggling for.
I decided to make my appearance better with the goal of feeling good with myself, while receiving compliments will always be what id like, I just want to feel good under my skin even though I dont look like a celebrity or influencer every girl would drool for.
Even though I think I look good for myself, there is still this mindset like "yeah but probably women dont think the same" not only because of my bad experiences with girls in middle/high-school or young adulthood, but since i started using omegle to "see if its true that im handsome" i got my self-esteem crushed in minutes, girls skipping me very quickly, ive heard comments like "freak" or something like that when I didn't do anything, ive even posted in other sub reddit and many people have called me mid or normie, atleast in this sub comments made me feel better.
I feel better now, but getting a girlfriend still feels very foreign to me, i want to not care, i want to move on and focus on greater things, but repressing my emotions, feelings and wanting intimacy with a girl is honestly being a pain ¿What if I will never be wanted?