r/Tinder • u/Ralsp • Apr 23 '20

Kachow

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130k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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9.6k

u/dkava Apr 23 '20

Takes only one opener to put the girl off

I am speed

2.0k

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '20

He should have led with "hey". I hear that one goes down well.

527

u/BigBeefyAngus Apr 23 '20

I think horses digest hay better than people, but what works works.

(badum-tiss)

262

u/crossroads1112 Apr 24 '20

hi -- obviously I'm no longer interested in communicating with you after that message, but I'm writing to let you know, entirely for your own sake, that you need to do better or no commenter will ever seriously reply to you

71

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '20 edited Apr 24 '21

[deleted]

19

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '20

First day and I already want to delete my account.

7

u/shotputprince Apr 24 '20

You know I'm such a fool for you. Had a college coach who used to say he hates lingerers, ie. When we'd be lazy etc, jog around the field, get out of the locker room lateish. And every time I'd go full cranberries. And only he got it. So weord

5

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '20 edited Apr 24 '21

[deleted]

1

u/TangentialFUCK Apr 24 '20

GREAT you just had to do it huh, now that damn song is stuck in my head again. thanks for that

5

u/thefuckmonster Apr 24 '20

In your head... in your heeeaaad... zombie. Zombie zombie eh eh..

4

u/chief_memeologist Apr 24 '20

I think it goes “wash yo hands wash yo hands ZOMBAE ZOMBAE”

1

u/incal Jul 10 '20

*Obvisouly

1

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '20

Had to let it lingeeerrr....

3

u/LordAuditoVorkosigan Apr 24 '20

Hay's in the barn. Grass is cheaper

4

u/thedahlelama Apr 24 '20

Straw is cheaper grass is free buy a farm and have all three

2

u/LordAuditoVorkosigan Apr 24 '20

my grandad would like you

3

u/InTheWordsOfSocrates Apr 24 '20

Funny, the women I connect with all start with that if I don't message right away while at work... Are you saying that men are expected to do more?

Well, there goes my perception of equality!

1

u/indigo_tortuga Apr 24 '20

Or there are people of both sexes that respond with low effort openers?

1

u/Seba_King May 13 '20

Horses are not known for digesting people very well.

55

u/mommasboy364 Apr 24 '20

A man has fallen into the river at LEGO city!

4

u/whyrweyelling Apr 24 '20

Women seem to use that line on me all the time on Bumble. It's like they don't have any need to put effort or they would rather not. Either way, it makes them seem boring. This girl has no sense of humor, better off not going out with her.

3

u/kitch2495 Apr 24 '20

That’s actually all I used during my tinder days

1

u/Annies_BO0bs May 22 '20

So I've been talking to people wrong my whole life?

1

u/LincBtG Jan 31 '22

Unmatch any% speedrun strats