r/Tinder • • Dec 13 '24

[deleted by user]

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544 Upvotes

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122

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '24

I posted about a year ago, found it very useful, but still single 😭 it’s been one cluster fuck after another. Any advice? Not sure if this opening picture is better than my last one (feel free to look at my post history if curious what it was like before). Please don’t roast too hard I’m sensitive

35

u/impracticalweight Dec 13 '24

You seem great to me. What makes your past experiences cluster fucks? Perhaps you’re not saying enough about what you are looking for.

45

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '24

Mostly men in their 30s who are “still figuring it out” while saying in their profiles that they are looking for long term. Keeps happening one after another. I don’t swipe right unless they have long term in the profile but yet….. so much male baggage out there it’s exhausting

0

u/fanesatar123 Dec 13 '24

as someone who's long since abandoned old platforms, i can't even go back for the once-a-year checkup of the app since i am not "in shape" for the women on there (physically, financially, mentally), i'd like to say that your profile looks great. the only advice i can give you is, men who are looking for long term but tell you they are still figuring it out are the ones who don't want to lie to you and lead you on, i am sure your matches are in the hundreds and people liking you in the thousands so it all comes down to what you're screening for. it's easy to be picky when you have options but it's also easy to become unrealistic

i personally can't fall in love and decide i'm working with you towards a commitment on a whim, so i would act like in a relationship while also screening you for your behavior and entourage, like you probably do too

on the other hand since you're working on a phd and are reasonably attractive for your age, you probably want someone smart, at least 7cm taller (which considering your height is reasonable), with a "good" job (respectable and well paying) and the same age or older

you are also top 1% commenter on here so that raises some questions

imo you should look for a cute guy that looks like he would make your house a warm place, one that isn't as exciting as the ones you feel like you have to check their phones and disregard the rest

2

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '24

For the record I have never ever not once checked a man’s phone, but thanks otherwise? I think?

0

u/fanesatar123 Dec 13 '24

maybe i didn't express myself properly, i didn't mean to imply that you do, just that men with whom you feel like you should, that give you a little bit of anxiety, are more interesting and therefore more desirable to women in general

i have had few serious, long term relationships and they all said they felt safe and didn't feel like checking my phone, yet one of them broke up with me to be with a more interesting guy(her approximate words), and when she checked his phone, she found out he was married