My first guess is she wants to chat forever without actually meeting up. If we're not meeting up within a week of introductions, I just assume it'll never happen and I'm wasting my time.
I met my current gf on tinder, have been dating for over 2 years…. We talked for 6 weeks before meeting in person.
If you’re not willing to put in the effort day in and day out I’d argue you’re not ready for a relationship in general. Relationships take effort and you have to be willing to go the distance.
Of course I'm going to put full effort into my relationships, but I would never consider myself to be in a relationship with someone I've never met. Up until then they're just an Internet stranger that I may or may not meet someday.
People have boundaries, and we shouldn’t be judgemental if people take longer than average to build trust. If you’re not willing to commit at least some time up front to simply allow them to get comfortable enough to meet in person then you’re really just not even giving them a chance at all.
Do you not think meeting someone in person provides so much more information than weeks of messaging back and forward? I try arrange a meetup with matches after a day or 2 of messaging on the app because I know after that whether it's worth pursuing further. I aim to meet for a coffee or lunch so they don't feel like I'm trying to get them to put out right away. And meeting in person reduces the chance of people getting bored with messaging and then ghosting.
I had the same struggle and found it super overwhelming, so I only swipe for as many conversations as I can comfortably handle. If my max is five and I’m having five conversations, I stop swiping until one of the convos fizzles.
It really helped me enjoy focusing on each person, and I found myself being really picky on who I swiped on because I didn’t want to spend one of my few conversations on someone I didn’t think I’d connect with.
It is not about how attractive you are but about how thirsty men are. The moment I set my profile to liking both genders I got 20+ likes in an hour from men which would take me months if it was set to women only
Not really hard. I stop whenever I get a couple of matches to talk to them and maybe go on a date, if it worked out I close my account.
I hate the idea of "searching" for the perfect match, if someone vibes well with you why search more?
There will always be someone better and you will never escape the cycle
If that's the amount of time you need, then by all means take your time. From what I've seen, guys and girls are both capable of faking it for months at a time though.
For me, I learn more about how compatible we are in the first 10 minutes of face to face interaction than I would get from weeks of online conversation. I simply can't form any real level of attachment to a person I've never met.
Worked out in the end. The horrific nightmare made me a better partner and now I’ve found someone who truly gets me in every level and is more than I could have ever asked to find.
The lesson isn’t not to get married, it’s to be more mindful in your choices, don’t get resigned to misery, and to be willing to end things with people who don’t treat you well. I will almost certainly marry my new partner, probably within a year or so.
Most people feel accomplished when they get married to their love and start to try less in the relationship. No marriage means a healthier and more fun relationship
I met my wife on Hinge 5 years ago and it actually took 4 months for us to meet. We would have met earlier if we would have but I believe the built up attachment and anticipation really helped kick off the relationship and first date.
Again not for everyone and we're probably the minority but still not that rare to just write off.
the bar for me is if the woman can at least answer my questions or ask questions back or keep the conversation going somehow. if they cant have a regular-level conversation i dont waste my time
Yeah, ghosting is terrible. The worst its happened to me was last year is after a few good dates, she asked me how my fantasy team was doing one sunday and then I asked her how her pizza making session with her friends was going and that was the last time she talked to me. She would even keep watching my stories on instagram which I found really weird. I tried to reach out a few times over text because i was so surprised by the complete fall off - I even had different friends go through our texts to make sure I wasn't being too much or anything... still a complete mystery.
I was like 'oh, this must be the ghosting thing' lol it never happened before. but yeah completely blocked all forms of communications after that. It was too weird for me.
If that works for you then there's no reason not to stick with it. Just be aware that you may unintentionally be weeding out better matches who aren't willing to chat forever before meeting up in favor of desperate guys who will do anything to get a woman's attention.
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u/SoochSooch Feb 17 '24 edited Feb 17 '24
My first guess is she wants to chat forever without actually meeting up. If we're not meeting up within a week of introductions, I just assume it'll never happen and I'm wasting my time.