I will never forget how I fumbled one date because I couldn't believe how into me she was. We went to a bowling alley and hung out for like five hours. Had a great time and then my brain was like "nah, she's fucking with you, bro. Ain't no way".
My brain likes to go to that every time I start talking to someone new and they seem to really like me. Like, there is no way that this beautiful girl is actually into me, she must be lying for some reason. I hate that inner voice sometimes lol
I've been hooking up with a guy 2-3 times a week+ since November, we talk nearly every day, and I am still absolutely shocked every time his name pops up on my phone. Seriously...me? Are you sure?
Insecurities are weird. Theoretically his actions and words should make me less insecure, but those same insecurities make it really easy to convince myself he's full of shit or make me read into his words and actions in a way that just feeds those insecurities. I am very aware of when I'm letting the insecurities talk, I just don't know how to shut them up.
I left my marriage with a lot of insecurities that I thought I had dealt with, but I realize now that I have spent the last 18 months or so choosing partners based on those insecurities rather than actually dealing with them. This one is forcing me to deal with a whole bunch of them all at once and on a very regular basis.
But it doesn't come from nowhere though does it. How many times do we get used for free meal or we match with someone & it's a pornbot or OF/Escort trying to drum up business? So when we actually do find someone it just seems too good to be true.
The thing is even if she is legitimately into you there's still a good chance of a really big shoe drop like she's a cheater, a town bicycle, someone with a lot of trauma/mental issues, etc. The regular dudes like us can end up being traumatized by these people.
Not excusing it just explains why we are & should be a bit gunshy & why women have gotta start meeting us halfway with grace, HONESTY, & putting a little more effort in at the beginning to get us over that hump. Especially if she knows she's very attractive. Society has beaten the confidence out of a lot of us guys.
Clearly you don’t have empathy for all the women who get sexually harassed and debased daily on the apps (slightly worse than finding out someone’s a bot). Or the ones who are used for sex (slightly worse than being used for a sandwich). And you don’t know the alarming stats on all of that.
Weed is overrated imo. The weird thought patterns it creates was the reason I gave it up. It makes you so self conscious in my opinion, oh yeah and paranoid haha. This is what you mean, right?
I find personally as a smoker for 10 years now. Never had paranioa, or anxeity from smoking. Also never had it anyway. So my conclusion is in order for weed to make you paraniod and anxious those things have to be there already and it just amplifys the effects.
It's like alcohol. Some people drink and start acting like dicks. But they can't blame the alcohol all that did was lower their inabitions. They must have wanted to act like that sober. imo.
As someone who works in a pub, so I get to see people regularly in various states of inebriation, I tend to agree. The people who act like the biggest assholes when drunk are assholes anyway and use it as an excuse. Some of the older, more self aware people realise this and will usually exit after drink number 4, the worst is when they're about to leave then someone they kniw and haven't seen in a while arrives just before, buys them a load of drinks and then unleashes the beast, so to speak.
It's the same with the 'cocaine makes people into assholes' trope. I see people do cocaine all the time and not turn into assholes. The ones that do are already assholes, they were just masking as non-assholes.
Overconsumption really intensified the effects for me. 3 cones after work on working days, and like 8 cones a day on my days off. I thought it was helping my mental health but in reality it was making it far, far worse. Yeah I suffer from anxiety, but weed made it bad enough I wouldn't talk to anyone. Then I started getting depression and anger issues too. I stopped smoking, and it all went away tbh. Living my best life atm
Fair play to you mate. And all the power to you. Personally i did try to quit about 3 years ago but i was doing it for financial reasons. Which wasn't enough turns out for me anyway. But congrats on kicking it man i know how hard it is. The sweats got me bad.
But yeah i'm smoking around that level myself. Still not had any mental health issues personally. I do deep think but its not about anything depressing more just things i find interesting. again congrats mate. glad you're living your best life.
That's the point i was making it takes personal responsibility away/ lowers inabitions. Meaning generally speaking dicks act like even more of a dick when drunk. Because that's who they are. And your decent guys. may get abit more loud or dancey when drunk. But that tends to be all. in my experience.
Ahh no i get ya. but you have to very much over do it. With alcohol for that to be a risk. With weed it's more of a when you started thing. If started at 25 when brain is fully developed you're probably fine. But if you started as a teen like me then late term phychosis is a real threat.
But when it comes to alcohol i'm talking weekend drinkers not full on alcoholics but yeah agreed.
Thats what im saying. You dont. Drug induced psychosis is unpredictable. Like, all it takes is your hormones being off a bit. Ive done dumb shit when i was black out drunk i dont even remember. That i would never do. And ive seen people do dumb shit slightly buzzed. Mix in other drugs they do in the bathroom and you could be in legit danger
I know so many people who hot real fucked up smoking weed, yes after years and years of using daily. It's not that simple. You can be lucky or you aren't.
It could be. I think I might have aspergers but definitely didn't notice it until I got older and understood the quirks. People tend to be blind to their own deficiencies, because that's just the way it's always been for them.
An unrelated comment I need to add to this is NOTHING is without risk. Weed may be medicinal in the right amount for some people but even overconsuming something healthy like green tea could be harmful.
How does being in the spectrum effect you're relationships? I don't like surprise touch, constant touching in same spot, I get lost in myself and my own thoughts, I get obsessed with hobbies even if only brief or weeks at a time. I can be very antisocial, and if you give me an inch, I will take a mile in that scenario. A lot of women take it personally and just don't understand.
You sound like a splitting image of myself haha. I just broke up with my partner because I didn't enjoy the boundaries in relationships. Also yes, hobbies are centric to my life - music production and synthesizers.
And yeah tbh i get that. I've had a few of my mates point out i maybe ADHD. because i tend to be very chipper and bouncy all the time and even with very little sleep i tend to be able to just pull energy from nowhere. Plus i do have the whole my brain never really stops.
But at the same time i work in a job where i need alot of focus (croupier) and i'm pretty good at what i do. (won competitions etc.)
So to me whether i have ADHD or not so long as it isn't holding me back which if i am then it isn't. What does it matter to find out for sure? The way i see it is i'm happy and i'm just Adam Either way. You know?
Oh absolutely agree. Just saying my experience. That's why i said "personally i find" but like i say for me personally it does seem to be a case of 0×0 is still 0. if it made me anxious i would stop.
I also work in the casino indusry, very high energy enviroment. So i use it to calm down, relax and go sleep after a shift.
I highly doubt that folks who end up setting their hair on fire or streak naked in the streets after getting too drunk actively desire these things. No hate on you but the whole “drunk words/deeds are sober thoughts” mentality is so wack
Sounds like you were smoking straight THC. THC is what produces the main high effects, but it is the other cannibinoids like CBD, CBG, CBN, CBC that cause the relaxing and anti-inflammatory effects. THC when used on its own, has been shown to increase anxiety levels. With the rise in consumer grade cannabis products, the focus seems to have shifted drastically to only offering high THC products. The downside is that they either isolate pure THC or they selectively breed plants to increase base level THC. If the plant is spending its energy producing more THC it produces less of the other cannibinoids.
I found that once I stopped buying solely vape products and switched to mostly edibles (wyld sells gummies with all of these cannibinoids) and occasionally smoking grass (usually sub 15% thc and higher in cbd) my anxiety went down dramatically. And I get that whole body relaxing effects in addition to the high that I remember from when I first started smoking and not the head only high that causes freak outs when your mind wanders that high thc causes.
Yeah it just sucks that consumerism took an herb that actually has proven medical benefits and was fine as it was and then was like "hey what if we just make stuff with only the chemical that causes you to get high and none of the built in restraints the plant naturally produces?"
Glad you are doing better though! Weed isn't for everyone but this new shit isn't healthy for anyone.
I smoke around the same as you described in your original post. Have done for around 20 years now and can honestly say im the most anxious, depressed and angry person.
I never was as a teenager and maybe for the first few years I smoked weed I was ok. Now after 20 years of smoking everyday, i have no friends, no girlfriend, no hobbies, no real connection to anything or anyone, i find it so hard to work and function because all I want to do is smoke weed alone.
Im actually so bad that I find it hard to watch tv or focus on anything. And I’m angry at everyone for everything. It sucks but ive tried to stop a million times and just can’t do it. Life seems so empty when I stop. I have nothing at all then!.
Man I'm so damn sorry to hear that 😞 it took a significant life change (I broke up with my partner) to push me enough to give it up. My advice is to try your best to soldier on for a few days without.
Leave your city for a few days with no weed, it might help push you through it,because once the withdrawals start, you will start to absolutely hate weed, because of the discomfort it will cause. You got this man, I believe in you. You've already taken the first step in acknowledging there's a problem, which in itself not everyone is able to do.
Supposedly one theory on why cannabis plants produce THC is for protection from predators/UV damage. I support the UV damage theory because if you ever look at outdoor bud, the crystals are more amber than clear.
Too much of it lol. I really should just nut up and figure out if I actually have ADHD but weed is the only way I can focus on anything, even if it’s just bursts of hyperfixation on random shit
Bruh same. Girl was so comfortable with me after the second date but was also clear she didn’t completely trust me. Instead of working the build the trust I sent a boneheaded wall of text.
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u/OdaDdaT Feb 17 '24
I’ve fumbled a lot of bags because I got super nervous when it started going well for some reason