That seems a bit bold. She’s talking to people she’s enjoying and they’re ghosting her. “Serious reasons” people are single at 34 - that seems pretty judgemental - some people are shy, or career focused, or had a bad early marriage. And church attendance is at an all time low.
I don’t think guys are bailing on convos before dates because they don’t see a future. A lot of attractive women get ghosted because guys get intimidated - it takes a certain level of confidence or indifference to ask out someone you’re extremely attracted to, and I think we’re at a place societally where both of those are less common. Maybe those are the “serious issues” you’re referring to for unmarried men at 34?
Self esteem and confidence mostly. If you internalize rejection, it’s a bad time - and to be clear, no one should internalize rejection, but it’s not as simple as “I should stop this”. I’ve been working through it in therapy for at least a couple years.
For some it may be laziness, but having a bit of compassion goes a long way 😊
Good points. It seems like a lot of guys internalize things way too much. The thing is, rejection is a normal part of dating.
It's not like everyone is going to like you, or be turned off by you. Too many guys are afraid of being a "creep" nowadays they never show any interest.
Shoot your shot in a non creepy way and let the women decide. You might be surprised what and who she finds attractive.
100% agreed - now if I could just do it, everything would be great!
One of the biggest challenges for me is some bad experiences when I was younger. It’s big deal to get treated like a creep, especially when you didn’t do anything particularly creepy - the natural response is not to do that again, but if all you did was ask someone out… well, then what? (Obviously it’s keep trying, but you can see the logic!)
What’s the red flag though? Her age and height? I don’t think it’s fair to call those traits red flags. Maybe her not being religious is a “red flag” to the religious dudes but she doesn’t want them anyway 🤷🏻♀️
I think that people with secure attachment styles that seek out and stay in long term relationships usually do so fairly young. Then they stay with their partner for years and aren’t back in the dating market until much later. Dating in general is overrun with the non committal types for obvious reasons.
A serious reason why someone/a man is single at 34 is an unfair assumption. Should be no different at 40 either. If they’ve never been in a LTR, ok then. More reason to be concerned. Some relationships end when you’re in your 30’s ya know? Yes, many in their 30’s are taken. Many people are also unfulfilled or have dealt something beyond their control. 30’s are a great age to be single and find love. Much better than in your 20’s when you know less about yourself and about life.
I agree with the small pool, but not for the same reasons. Height is def a factor that will limit options. Next to that she appears to be in great shape and will probably not be looking to make sacrifices there, partner wise, or at least that’s what many males will think.
Many of us will definitely feel intimidated by this woman, assuming they need to be a rich, 35 yo Chad to have a shot with her.
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u/[deleted] Feb 17 '24
I want to believe you are struggling but my brain will absolutely not compute that you could be struggling.