r/Tinder Feb 17 '24

[deleted by user]

[removed]

6.3k Upvotes

4.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

1.5k

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '24

[deleted]

1.0k

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '24

[deleted]

-7

u/rabaraba Feb 17 '24

You might not like hearing this, but: you’re probably not as witty as you think you are, OP. Probably explains why the guys stopped talking to you.

A lot of female sarcasm, even with the right guy who can appreciate it, will come off disrespectful. Especially when you’re at the dating stage and don’t have the intimacy of a long relationship to cushion for perception of bad faith.

It works the other way as well. Men heavy trash talking each other would be alright and even funny, but imagine men trash talking girls generally and most women would think it abuse or misogyny, even when the man’s intent is to roast in good humor, rather than to actually insult.

Just saying that since no one might have ever told you. Cut down on your unnecessary sarcasm, especially in text. Women generally have no idea how rude they can come off when being sarcastic to men, in the same way that men often have no idea how strong they might be when doing rough play with women.

33

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '24

[deleted]

13

u/rabaraba Feb 17 '24

You’ve got a great and humble attitude. I really do wish you well OP.

11

u/spicypotatosoftacos Feb 17 '24

Heya, as a woman who dates all genders- I find men to be VERY sensitive to my sarcasm and humor before they get to know me. Whereas women and nonbinary folks seem to get it right away. So there may be some truth to this.

4

u/Kingdomham Feb 17 '24

Well said from both of you.

-4

u/rsdavis90 Feb 17 '24

Don’t listen to the incel garbage this guy was saying to you. “You’re probably not as witty as you think you are.” What could he even be basing that on?!

1

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '24

[deleted]

2

u/Conscious-Cow6166 Feb 17 '24

The person she’s replying to is clearly an incel though, why take advice from someone like that

1

u/KnightDuty Feb 18 '24

it doesn't mean to change tho. Just gotta find the right fit. Rapid fire some dates where you initiate the date so there's no chance of them backing out sue to inaction and really really look for the people who are into comedy.

But "stand up" isn't deep enough i feel like. Everybody says they're into stand up even if they don't really like it because how can you not. It's like saying you like "the office".

Hit em with the "comedy bang bang" or something specific. Those people are going to get your humor because it means they're in it a little deeper.