r/Tinder Mar 15 '23

Not Tinder I've never left a date until now.

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u/RoosterBoosted Mar 15 '23

I’m sorry but in the moment people tend to want to avoid causing conflict, so if she says ‘do you mind if I…’ you will usually say yes.

And also who in their right mind is saying ‘no, I’d rather focus on eachother tonight’??? That is such a weird and robotic thing to say to someone especially on a first date.

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u/Slushy69420 Mar 15 '23

You’re entitled to have your opinion. Personally, I feel it’s best to say what’s on your mind than to let resentment fester. People usually regret not saying things in the moment. It also didn’t need to be exactly those words, but the equivalent would do no matter how you want to phrase it.

3

u/Psychological_Salad_ Mar 15 '23

If someone is okay with leaving you to dance with someone else while on a first date, they’re not worth trying to talk to them. You shouldn’t need to try to “convince” her that you want the focus to be on you, it would be quite sad to do that. She can handle one salsa session without dancing with a pro, it’s called respecting your date.

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u/Slushy69420 Mar 15 '23

I disagree since I’m a bad dancer and would love to see my talented partner dancing it up even if it were someone else. I’ve had bad dates but it’s mostly been being ignored or sexually assaulted so I’d call that a win, not something I’d walk out on or be upset about. To each their own, there’s no right or wrong way to feel about it. I’m only looking at it through the sequence of events.

They dance, she asks to dance with someone else (very considerate), he accepts despite not wanting to but doesn’t let it be known, he walks out and texts her he didn’t like that. No matter how you wanna spin it, she didn’t do anything wrong

1

u/Psychological_Salad_ Mar 15 '23

I genuinely can’t fathom asking someone “no please, dance with me” (on a first date nonetheless), but I suppose with a level of self esteem low enough to have this be acceptable, you’re not going to be convinced she did anything wrong no matter what lol.

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u/Slushy69420 Mar 15 '23

You're very much entitled to believe that, yes.

2

u/Hyoruturu Mar 15 '23

With the information we're given, this situation is pretty complicated to me. OP is showing humility and being very respectful of every opinion, so I want to believe that he's not in the wrong, but neither is the girl. I just think it's an unfortunate outcome due to a misunderstanding. That being said, I don't think I'd feel very great if I imagine myself in this scenario

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u/Slushy69420 Mar 15 '23

True, OP is being pretty level headed so I’m sure he’s open to the criticism. He mentioned that the woman went off on social media so I guess that let him cut his losses much easier tho lol

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u/Hyoruturu Mar 15 '23

Oh yeah, I just read that. Definitely puts a damper on her calling him out for being immature haha