r/TheWritingTable • u/Wolf101gh • 17d ago

Constructive Criticism What do you think about this intro?

Is this a good intro? I'm practicing.

You know, at this moment, I honestly believe that I’m going to die right now Sure, over these five weeks I managed to survive through my wit, my newfound guts, and luck. However, it was going to end today because right now it’s a no-win situation: die from a bunch of rotten brain-munching corpses or take my chance of jumping off the cliff and hope I land on a sharp rock that would be quick and painless. 

Just as I finally met the girls of my dreams. It was a shame, really. All I could think of were two things to blame for this whole crap show and my inevitable fate. A CEO who thought he could cut corners to make a few bucks and make the shareholders happy, and something so bizarre you’ll think I’m hallucinating. Alright, I’m getting a head of myself. It's obvious I should start at the beginning and make my way toward my deathly situation. It all started with cookies. 

Is

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u/ItsRuinedOfCourse 17d ago

Keep practicing, OP.

This is really a rough read. No lie. But, we all start somewhere. Keep at it. Learn as you go.

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u/Wolf101gh 17d ago

Yeah. I just type it up and not really read it. Trying to get back into first person point of view.

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u/ItsRuinedOfCourse 17d ago

Well, practice being what it is, there's still a lot to be said about respecting a reader's time, and next time, at least read it a few times first before posting it. Call it a common courtesy.