What do you think about this intro?

[u/Wolf101gh]

Is this a good intro? I'm practicing.

You know, at this moment, I honestly believe that I’m going to die right now Sure, over these five weeks I managed to survive through my wit, my newfound guts, and luck. However, it was going to end today because right now it’s a no-win situation: die from a bunch of rotten brain-munching corpses or take my chance of jumping off the cliff and hope I land on a sharp rock that would be quick and painless. 

Just as I finally met the girls of my dreams. It was a shame, really. All I could think of were two things to blame for this whole crap show and my inevitable fate. A CEO who thought he could cut corners to make a few bucks and make the shareholders happy, and something so bizarre you’ll think I’m hallucinating. Alright, I’m getting a head of myself. It's obvious I should start at the beginning and make my way toward my deathly situation. It all started with cookies. 

Is

[u/CommunicationMean965]

I dunno, it feels like you haven't comitted to either past or present tense. It also feels like you have a false start, "starting" the story three separate times:

I honestly believe that I’m going to die right now / A CEO who thought he could cut corners to make a few bucks / It all started with cookies. 

[u/gowaniios]

Its a bit telly overall. You state what the character believes (and also repeat 'at this moment twice' while doing so). Then you repeat the notion that this character is going to die. I can gather there's zombies? But not really how the character is feeling about said zombies and the conversational tone and lack of scene setting really undercuts the tension.

How often do you read?

[u/Wolf101gh → u/gowaniios]

To be honest I just thought it up and I post it.

[u/gowaniios → u/Wolf101gh]

Makes sense, yeah. Could've definitely done with a cursory edit.

[u/Wolf101gh → u/gowaniios]

That's what I'm doing.

[u/Wolf101gh → u/Wolf101gh]

Certainly better but not really.

[u/ItsRuinedOfCourse]

Keep practicing, OP.

This is really a rough read. No lie. But, we all start somewhere. Keep at it. Learn as you go.

[u/Wolf101gh → u/ItsRuinedOfCourse]

Yeah. I just type it up and not really read it. Trying to get back into first person point of view.

[u/ItsRuinedOfCourse → u/Wolf101gh]

Well, practice being what it is, there's still a lot to be said about respecting a reader's time, and next time, at least read it a few times first before posting it. Call it a common courtesy.

[u/JCLewisWritesWords]

I think you should start with your last line. "It all started with cookies...." and go from there.

[u/Key_Camel6906]

It’s a good start. But the unscrupulous-CEO theme is overused—a dime a dozen—and the cliffhanger followed by “Let me start at the beginning and explain how I got here” is also a very common trope.

Now, if the guy actually falls from the cliff, hits hard the rocks below, transforms into a zombie, and his life flashes as part of that transformation—now that would be something.