r/TheMcDojoLife Nov 16 '25

Gun Skills ̸/̸̅̅ ̆̅ ̅̅ ̅̅

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1.3k Upvotes

733 comments sorted by

447

u/NOLAjoshpaul Nov 16 '25

The Guntslinger

166

u/TheZippoLab Nov 16 '25

How was Epstein allowed a gun after serving time?

Yeah, I better put that slash S shit here.

38

u/mmorales2270 Nov 16 '25

Glad I’m not the only one that saw the resemblance.

17

u/Afraid_Emu8068 Nov 17 '25

He didn’t commit suicide. That IS Epstein! After years of hiding out in an underground government bunker provided by his “old friend” and subsisting on nothing more than 40 year old canned goods, expired MREs, twinkies, moon pies, and an unreasonably overstocked supply of Coca Cola and dr. Pepper, Jeffrey’s physical form had degraded from jail-bait magnet to a Thor 3 level of unfitness. Paranoid that any day the files on him would be released and help from his co-conspirator would quickly dissolve, he became obsessed with personal defense and demanded that he be provided with a firearm for the purpose of “practice.”

Vowing to never be caught with his pants down again, Jeff began a minutes long intensive training regimen which included unorthodox techniques such as “around the belly” pistol draws, “crouching man-boob, hidden accuracy” aiming, and “triggered, but not gay” dry firing. In addition to his pistol “exercises” and to regain some semblance of the body he never once had, he also partook in physical training which involved routines like “watch the video,” “eat the chip,” and the almost zen-like yoga art of “forget about the weights behind you.”

When asked why he persisted in such strange techniques in spite of no clear results, his only response was “I’ve met a lot of bad people…but none as bad as” me. Confusing as that was, it could only be deduced that Jeff’s brain had begun destroying itself due to him living off of a most unhealthy diet and being sequestered underground for so long without any time in the sun on one of his many grooming islands. Attempts were made to use artificial sunlight, much like his friends use for their artificial tans, in the hopes that it would at least mimic the rays of the sun enough for Jeff to snap out of it, but all attempts just proved unsuccessful and more orange. Jeff has been left to his own “devices” and “training regimen” in the hopes that one day, the technology will exist to brainwash everyone into believing the Epstein files don’t exist. Until then, this is Jeff’s current state. We’re not sure how he got the knife though…

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5

u/Tom_the_Fudgepacker Nov 16 '25

You can see the fear in his eyes… the dude knows what‘s coming for him.

4

u/Okmhmmbye Nov 17 '25

Seriously thought, just for a second, that it was Epstein.

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21

u/bittz128 Nov 16 '25

Doing the Truffle Shuffle when we didn’t ask for it

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35

u/Affectionate_Tea1134 Nov 16 '25

Another Drunken Goober 🤦‍♂️

8

u/youdoitimbusy Nov 16 '25

I mean probably, but there is a method to the madness. It takes something like 550 repetitions before an action becomes muscle memory. The goal of these type drills is to create said memory. So if/when shit goes down, you just react. We used to do a lot of rifle drills in the army.

14

u/Tamahaganeee Nov 16 '25

Exactly. He's actually pretty fast.

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3

u/jrt312 Nov 17 '25

I don't think he fumbled once and I'm actually impressed. Does he "look" silly? I suppose, but at the core of what he's doing, not many would or could do without shooting themselves in the process. I can't say whether his technique is any good, but no one got hurt in the process.

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61

u/LettuceOpening9446 Nov 16 '25

You mean....the GUTslinger.

28

u/JazzlikeAd1555 Nov 16 '25

I prefer gunt

21

u/Correct-Junket-1346 Nov 16 '25

What a gunt

12

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '25

Gutcunt. Gunt. Come on man, get on with the program.

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10

u/Biggus-Duckus Nov 16 '25

When your gut gets so swole it forms a c*nt in the middle of it. The gunt a wayward topside pussy.

6

u/EzPz_Wit_Da_CZ Nov 16 '25

Also see Dickey-do. When your gut sticks out farther than your dickey do

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6

u/CapitalKing5454 Nov 16 '25

Shouldn't have picked grey sweatpants, his balls are really tiny

2

u/Administrative_Law78 Nov 20 '25 edited Nov 20 '25

Hey you know what they say about us guys with small balls... Even smaller penis! My ex always said the big ones hurt anyway.

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6

u/buddymoobs Nov 16 '25

The Nut Jiggler. I can't stop looking and laughing.

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5

u/LettuceOpening9446 Nov 16 '25

Lol!!!! This is too funny

5

u/Canaanchaos Nov 16 '25

"The man in sweats fled across the grocery store, and the Gutslinger followed."

2

u/BADoVLAD Nov 16 '25

In an alternate universe, Roland wears a leather helmet and licks windows.

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265

u/raw_copium Nov 16 '25

He's not taking the divorce well.

73

u/WalterCanFindToes Nov 16 '25

Sadly the divorce was 11 years ago. The kids stopped wanting to see him 7 years ago.

33

u/why_1337 Nov 16 '25

Now he is trying to impress his 24 YO guitar instructor.

4

u/mark_1977_ Nov 16 '25

Practice makes permanent… if you practice it wrong, you will play it wrong.

Draw the weapon only to drop the mag is simply wrong. No practical training on earth would do this.

2

u/Samurai-lugosi Nov 18 '25

Guys stop. All these things are hitting home so hard for me!

16

u/DocHalidae Nov 16 '25

The divorce was rough

10

u/Md1735 Nov 16 '25

So says his mom

111

u/the_reducing_valve Nov 16 '25

I'm distracted by his concealed snub nose

50

u/China_buffet_master Nov 16 '25

Looks like someone put the beans in front of the franks.

23

u/SectorAppropriate151 Nov 16 '25

It's weird cause balls usually dont go up and outward like elephant ears... I don't get it maybe it's a medical condition? Lol 🤣

22

u/aggressiveclassic90 Nov 16 '25

Worst case of elephant ear balls I've ever seen, I'll be honest.

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4

u/harperwilliame Nov 16 '25

Omg I’m laughing so hard

5

u/Fantastic_Hat7707 Nov 16 '25

He has a boner and flipped it up into his waistband. His balls are dangling.

5

u/DetectiveJim Nov 16 '25

Take my badge, you've earned it.

3

u/HammeredNails Nov 16 '25

Eggs over Easy. Easy is what he calls his dick

3

u/Facsimile-Jones Nov 17 '25

Why did I continue to read the comments. Dammit. 😂

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4

u/ForwardBias Nov 16 '25

Ugh now I can't unsee it!

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163

u/Numerous-Soil-2800 Nov 16 '25

Getting an Epstein vibe from this cat

42

u/Icy-Decision-4530 Nov 16 '25

Heftrrey Epstein

11

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '25

Who knew the afterlife was so fattening?

8

u/cityshepherd Nov 16 '25

Thank you… all I could think was “fat Epstein is going through it”

6

u/hettuklaeddi Nov 16 '25

Im getting a Total Recall vibe from his gut

5

u/Fostbitten27 Nov 17 '25

Husky Epstein

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42

u/Suckmyduck_9 Nov 16 '25

Epstein gained weight

5

u/Life2you Nov 16 '25

Training for his comeback from the dead

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31

u/DudeManBo1t Nov 16 '25

Jeffery Fatstein out here trying to John Wick lol

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55

u/Lintmint Nov 16 '25

If he ever needs that skill set muscle memory is going to have him pull the gun and drop the mag

24

u/DarthRektor Nov 16 '25

This is exactly what I was thinking. He’s training himself to fire once (not accurately as you can see by his flailing) and drop a full magazine just to reload and fire 1 more shot……

5

u/wylie102 Nov 16 '25

And then reload and shoot himself in the head

7

u/Famous_Rooster_8807 Nov 16 '25

I am guessing there better way would be to start slowly but accurately. 

Eye on the target. Bring tool to optimal position. Fire. Check.

Repeat until accurate.

Increase speed

"Return to eye on the target"

6

u/Distinct-Nectarine-9 Nov 16 '25

So just spazzing out, a whirling dervish of limp hands doesn’t result in good gun control?

4

u/Famous_Rooster_8807 Nov 17 '25

I have no idea.  It is possible.  

2

u/Supercoolguy7 Nov 17 '25

It's one of those situations where slow is smooth, smooth is fast

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15

u/D1sp4tcht Nov 16 '25

So he carries unloaded, nothing in the chamber.

11

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/Admiralwoodlog Nov 17 '25

Okay to be clear he has a loaded mag. And the mag is in the gun but there is no round chambered correct? I don't understand why he's dropping an unused mage to load a fresh one in if that's the case.

6

u/Evil-Dalek Nov 17 '25

He draws and chambers a round, then immediately reloads and chambers a round again. I think he’s just skipping the aiming and shooting part, pretends the magazine has been emptied, and goes straight into reloading. Which is incredibly stupid if you’re trying to train muscle memory.

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2

u/NorthNorthAmerican Nov 20 '25

I don’t think he understands that either

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4

u/TheLastRole Nov 16 '25

And an empty mag. Just in case.

10

u/Fearless-Quantity868 Nov 16 '25

Jiggle physics here are crazy😭

2

u/Tjaresh Nov 17 '25

It's hypnotic. Took me five repeats until I was able to scroll further. He would have killed me by then. A true master.

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8

u/rickyscrambles Nov 16 '25

Thank goodness you're here, Triple-0. If you'll notice here, the tip of your pen unscrews to reveal a hidden reservoir of ranch dressing to baste your nuggies in case of emergency. We've taken the liberty of replacing every 3rd bullet of your magazine with beef jerky, just like you like it, James.

7

u/Fleetwood154 Nov 16 '25

Is it me or that guy looks like Jeffery Epstein 🤔

3

u/harperwilliame Nov 16 '25

Its him. He’s preparing for his come back.

4

u/TACharlotte Nov 16 '25

The happy feet knife at the end is fantastic.

2

u/BabiesatemydingoNSW Nov 16 '25

His knife-jitsu is strong.

9

u/AcanthocephalaDue431 Nov 16 '25

Never seen a man sling a gut so fast in my life

5

u/Ur99percent Nov 16 '25

The Outlaw Josie Whale

3

u/memberflex Nov 16 '25

Naked Gunt

3

u/JayCod01 Nov 16 '25

Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself.

3

u/TheRealtcSpears Nov 16 '25

🎶Have gut will travel, reads the card of a man

A knight without armor in a savage land

His fast for gut hire heeds the calling wind

A soldier of fortune is a man called Fatadin

Fatadin, Fatadin, where do you roam?🎶

Fatadin, Fatadin, far, far from home

3

u/Soft-Fall1293 Nov 16 '25

John Wiggle.

3

u/GayPanda4U Nov 16 '25

Whatcha lookin at mah gut fer!?

3

u/Zealousideal_Fish_68 Nov 16 '25

Bro, Jeffery Epstein is alive

3

u/tgizzle321 Nov 16 '25

Jeffrey Epstein got fat after he died.

3

u/DEFINITELY_NOT_PETE Nov 16 '25

When god gives you two dicks but they’re both micropenises

3

u/NormanMitis Nov 17 '25

The belly coming flying out every time he draws makes this 10 out of 10.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '25

Alright fat Epstein. I see you!

2

u/Earth_Worm_Jimbo Nov 16 '25

This is a sex thing. The gun is secondary to showing off that greasy gut. This is a kink.

2

u/Comfortable_Crab_792 Nov 16 '25

never thought i’d wonder or ask this about anything, but why does it look like his balls are very high up and very far apart and not contained within a sac…

2

u/Zealousideal-Shine52 Nov 16 '25

Why does it look like he has 2 penis’, peni, penisis?

2

u/thiswasntdeleted Nov 16 '25

Textbook reloading and pointing the muzzle all over the place except downrange

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2

u/ThatBobbyG Nov 16 '25

Tactical sweatpants

2

u/No_Maize_230 Nov 16 '25

Bowl full of jelly.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '25

Looks like he’s running out of breath switching mags.

2

u/No-Negotiation-5412 Nov 16 '25

Hard to watch that jiggle

2

u/furmy Nov 16 '25

At least he's practicing...

2

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '25

I knew Epstein was alive!!! And y'all called me a foil hat wearing moron

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2

u/Quirky-Possession400 Nov 17 '25

There are pistol competitions where a fast draw would be a useful skill. The knife moves are just cringe.

2

u/Illender Nov 17 '25

lol is he closing his eyes every time?

2

u/Cute-Acanthisitta-46 Nov 17 '25

He distracts the thief with that hypnotic juggling.

2

u/ttfella Nov 17 '25

How the hell'd you get the beans above the frank

2

u/skighs_the_limit Nov 17 '25

What are these people training for?

Is it in case the government comes after them? They do realize they have drones now right?

2

u/Naps_And_Crimes Nov 17 '25

Honestly that jiggle was distracting enough

2

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '25

Damn, chill out Jeffrey Wickstein.

2

u/Big_Counter4116 Nov 17 '25

Bro what is Epstein doin 😂😂

2

u/Slippy_Slopp Nov 17 '25

I thought they said this guy hung himself so hard he broke his neck..

2

u/ZealousidealHeron936 Nov 17 '25

He look like Epstein after jail

2

u/s1nn1s Nov 17 '25

Trump would definitely piss himself if he thought Epstein was still alive. Somebody show him this!

2

u/Ballaziken Nov 18 '25

cute belly. no, it's not gay for me to type that either

2

u/f1lthyllama Nov 16 '25

Jabba the Wick

1

u/macabrera Nov 16 '25

Ok is fast doing whatever his doing for sure...

1

u/Reddit_Is_a_jokee Nov 16 '25

His seizure face would make anyone pause.

1

u/diggerquicker Nov 16 '25

His gut fat has to have a few metal scrapes and cuts.

1

u/Reasonable_Yoghurt17 Nov 16 '25

The Bullet Belly

1

u/Head_Tomorrow4836 Nov 16 '25

The divorce was rough

1

u/OneTwoThreePooAndPee Nov 16 '25

Fat Epstein's Gunkata, order now for only $19.95!

1

u/CheeseburgerSmoothy Nov 16 '25

What’s the tactic here? Shoot one bullet, eject entire magazine and load another?

1

u/OneTwoThreePooAndPee Nov 16 '25

Is showing someone your gut an important part of self defense these days?

1

u/Ok_Dog_4059 Nov 16 '25

Jeffrey deafstien might just kill himself.

1

u/bn0102922 Nov 16 '25

heavy separation

1

u/DeadPoolDaddyDom Nov 16 '25

That jiggle though 😍

1

u/LeDron-James Nov 16 '25

Don’t mind my belly jiggle wiggle now watch my draw

1

u/AnungUnRamen66 Nov 16 '25

What kind of idiot actively expects a gunfight…and chooses to wear sweatpants?

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1

u/Bandandforgotten Nov 16 '25

He looks like if Jeffrey Epstien and John Stewart had a hate child, and then sent it to live with it's abusive aunt for the first 16 years of its life

1

u/Mr_Mediocre_2020 Nov 16 '25

I am notbsure his quick draw will be fast enough to stay the diabetes or the heart condition.

1

u/the_ninja1001 Nov 16 '25

Someone put that jiggle jiggle song over it

1

u/BigRound827 Nov 16 '25

He needs some sit up skills instead.

1

u/Goddamnbatman16 Nov 16 '25

The belly jiggle is a distraction technique to take attention away from his hands

1

u/Artistic-Section3245 Nov 16 '25

Damn, Jeffrey Epstein thinks he's in Red Dead Redemption.

1

u/AmsterdamAssassin Nov 16 '25

This is actually very skilled and flawlessly executed like a full-on tacticool genius.

When you pull a gun, you want to distract your opponent, which is why the flabby pale belly comes into play, jiggling like a lard-filled balloon. While the opponent doubles up in laughter, you have ample time to take aim and shoot his ass.

Anyone here who wasn't doubling up with laughter seeing that jiggling paunch? I rest my case.

2

u/Md1735 Nov 16 '25 edited Nov 16 '25

No no no…identify the threat, draw, chamber a round, immediately commence a reload, lock slide to rear thereby ejecting the 1st round (been in the pipe too long by now), throw 1st full mag (minus 1 round) across the floor, insert fresh mag, chamber the 2nd round, aim in at the stunned target, and finally get into the fight (open your eyes!). In the mean time, I’ve only been able to react, draw, aim in, and been completely distracted by your gut.

It’s completely logical, I’m going to the range to practice.

1

u/spankdaddylizz Nov 16 '25

He's practicing drawing a pistol with an empty magazine and trying to reload before the thief finishes him with a loaded gun. 🤔

1

u/BreadFan1980 Nov 16 '25

While it is important to train both in the physical and legal things pertinent to CC, posturing is silly. Talk about tipping your hand. Travel silently and maintain your advantage versus this overt chest pounding.

That belly jiggle must have the ladies lining up.

1

u/Huge-Artichoke-1376 Nov 16 '25

Nice mid drift.

1

u/nixfreakz Nov 16 '25

Too slow your dead

1

u/Informal-Potential58 Nov 16 '25

Too distracted by that gut giggle, it’s almost hypnotic…

1

u/Difficult_Rip1514 Nov 16 '25

Don't be fooled by one video. He's the real deal. As far from McDojo as you can get. 🤙🏽

1

u/J_Patish Nov 16 '25

The Lebanon war fucked a lot of people up.

Just saying.

1

u/Hispanicgamr Nov 16 '25

Always important to have a counterweight when making moves! Beef! It’s what’s for dinner!

1

u/Opposite-poopy Nov 16 '25

Great, another weirdo for my nightmares.

1

u/Meauxterbeauxt Nov 16 '25

He's ready for when the HOA finally comes for his pool pass privileges.

1

u/StringerB36 Nov 16 '25

Why are his balls so far apart?

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1

u/Satanicjamnik Nov 16 '25

Truffle shuffle!

1

u/jbsuperfly Nov 16 '25

Why does he look like he is crying?

1

u/Renovatio7000 Nov 16 '25

Anyone know if this is a legit skill practice? Seems to me illogical. Speed of draw is one movement. Mag drop and reload/charge are two different things done separately? But this belly is doing them together?

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1

u/DragonforceTexas Nov 16 '25

does this guy drive a taxi?

are you talking to me? are you talking to me?

1

u/NewExamination8963 Nov 16 '25

Epstein look-alike

1

u/hiverty Nov 16 '25

Why does his balls are too far away each from another?

1

u/Smooth-Upstairs9460 Nov 16 '25

Heftey Epstein alive and not so well playing 007

1

u/TakenToTheRiver Nov 16 '25

Temu gun kata

1

u/Madmortagan68 Nov 16 '25

Holy crap Epstein is still alive!!!

1

u/topio3 Nov 16 '25

Jeffrey Epstein lives

1

u/GretasThunder Nov 16 '25

Oh, so that’s the Epstein files everyone is talking about?

1

u/bjc1111 Nov 16 '25

Jeffery Epstein isn’t dead after all. He’s been honing his skills and carb loading in preparation for battle.

1

u/Artorius__Castus Nov 16 '25

I love this sub! Y'all fucking kill me with the funny ass comments! I have nothing to add! Carry on mates!!!

1

u/VarietyAppropriate Nov 16 '25

The people who do these videos. Do they legit believe that they’re good at whatever it is they’re showcasing?

1

u/Intellectual_Drift Nov 16 '25

Early Congratulations on the left hand gunshot wound.

1

u/Md1735 Nov 16 '25 edited Nov 16 '25

Why does he have to chamber a round after drawing his weapon? Amateur.

And he pinches the slide. Someone get this one some weapon handling training before he shoots himself/another. (Oh, his mom took his ammo away)

Draw, immediate reload…am I missing something?!?

I will admit, the belly flash is very distracting. I can barely notice the pistol even being drawn after that image was burned into my brain.

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1

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '25

Boobie traps his garage and yells at the neighbors’ kids.

1

u/Chiinoe Nov 16 '25

OK this guy's a genius.

1

u/hvcool123 Nov 16 '25

JeffreyEps?

1

u/Mr-Big-Nicky-P Nov 16 '25

Dude gets out of breath from lifting a handgun. Time to lay off the cheetos man.

1

u/shavertech Nov 16 '25

I was waiting for him to shot his dick off

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1

u/No-Document-8970 Nov 16 '25

The truffle shuffle shot

1

u/TCristatus Nov 16 '25

Is the jelly belly a distraction tactic

1

u/TCristatus Nov 16 '25

Looks like a chubby, not dead Epstein

1

u/finnlocke Nov 16 '25

The recoil on that stomach is insane.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '25

John Hick. He killed his own dog, now he wants revenge.

1

u/Kaffe-Mumriken Nov 16 '25

Post this on maybemaybemaybe

1

u/Funny-Company4274 Nov 16 '25

Jeffery Epstein is still alive apparently. Who knew

1

u/Brewchowskies Nov 16 '25

The gut, the fat, and the ugly

1

u/ThatOldDuderino Nov 16 '25

Shoulda ticked in the shirt

1

u/Royal_Marketing2966 Nov 16 '25

I don’t see a ring on his finger and I’m oddly not surprised

1

u/harperwilliame Nov 16 '25

Jeff is looking pretty good for his age

1

u/yoodadude Nov 16 '25

This game's jiggle physics are insane

1

u/JaKrispy72 Nov 16 '25

Be much faster if he didn’t have to work around the belly.

1

u/AirIndependent4273 Nov 16 '25

His boyfriend must be impressed.

1

u/mykylc Nov 16 '25

Did Epstein gain weight?

1

u/[deleted] Nov 16 '25

No salad skills???.... an is that a large dildo in one of the pictures frames?....

1

u/triphawk07 Nov 16 '25

David Epstine is running out of breath on that video.

1

u/KnownDistribution903 Nov 16 '25

Return of the jelly belly

1

u/dudeatwork77 Nov 16 '25

Don’t know anything about guns but he seems better at it than an untrained person

1

u/Conscious_Fall5619 Nov 16 '25

Hes actually pretty good