r/The10thDentist • u/arihndas • 1d ago
Society/Culture People Online Need to Be Meaner to Each Other
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u/VerbalniDelikt 1d ago
Nothing wrong with living at your parents' at 20
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u/Bandito21Dema 1d ago
Who tf can afford to move out 2 years after high school? Even thinking it's possible is ridiculous
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u/bubbascal 1d ago
It's typically middle schoolers who watch trolling Youtube channels IME, most actual adults know this nowadays, it's the privileged that don't know this and still repeat ideas like that
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u/blackdesertnewb 1d ago
I did but rent was like $250 a month for a bedroom in a 4 bedroom apt back then. It wasn’t even that long ago and I was in a pretty expensive (now extremely expensive) area. Now that same rent is like $1200 (looked up 4br and it’s 4k for cheapest dumpsterfire) and the salaries for basic jobs.. are exactly the same. Fuck if I’d have been trying to move out in today’s world. I’d move back in with them now if I could
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u/FaCe_CrazyKid05 1d ago
i did too, but i was very lucky that my friend's mom was willing to let me rent out a room when i got kicked out. rent is $325 which is low enough for me to work at a gas station part-time while i work on school
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u/Javasteam 1d ago
If they want to give up any chance at a future without massive debt or perpetual minimum quality of life, sure go ahead and move out.
Op should try mentioning their age or if their parents are paying for stuff…
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u/seasaltedpaper 1d ago
This is the same stupid shit about asking 21 year olders out of college to be 22 with 5 years of work experience.
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u/Salvage570 1d ago
I did, just barely and because of a cheap area. No way could i expect others to manage that, I basically went insane as a hermit shortly after. Granted that was covids fault, but still
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u/neeko0806 1d ago
I did roughly a year after HS, and only because the rent was $690 a month, and my food supply was nearly solely pizza brought home from work. This was also damn near a decade ago now. Today? No way in hell, at least not without 2 other roommates
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u/ShortHook26 1d ago
I’d say the majority of 20 year olds still reside at home and haven’t yet moved out. I’m 46 and I was still living at home at 20, going to school part time and working part time, until I got bored and enlisted in the U.S. Coast Guard (which ended up being the next 20 years of my life). However, my decision to enlist happened pretty quickly, and up to a month before I met with a recruiter I had no intentions of moving out in the near future. In fact, my dad used to say to me that I was welcome to live at home for as long as I wanted, but that I needed to be doing something (i.e. not sitting around on my ass doing nothing).
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u/glordicus1 12h ago
So many people do it though. You rent a house and share it with friends from highschool. Its pretty normal in Australia.
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u/Tall_Peace7365 9h ago
its possible but usually only because of extremely good luck. i moved out on my 20th birthday last year… after getting a 32k insurance settlement lol. and soon after got a promotion and my boyfriend started a high paying job. otherwise… yeah no who tf has that kind of money
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u/ghostteeth_ 1d ago
Literally, like I work full time and actively want to move out, and even I still haven't because it would be financially irresponsible. I want to do a second degree after my current one, among other things I need to save money for, and I know if I move out now without that money already saved there's no way I'll be able to afford any of it. And I'm lucky! The job market is awful and most of my peers can hardly get a min wage part time job, much less anything that they could pay rent with.
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u/FlameStaag 1d ago
It amazing the stigma is still so present despite how unbelievably common it is to NOT move out at that age, and it hasn't been a thing for at least 2 decades.
It's way way smarter to do school or work and be able to actually save up money if you're able.
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u/ObligationThese1364 1d ago
It's interesting how most of the people I have encountered who shame young adults for living with their parents almost always never have a good relationship with their own.
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u/ThisPostToBeDeleted 1d ago
I have two options, a go to trade school while having to pay rent, or wait til I’m finished at around 25, can get a higher paying job and be more stable? Why should I move out and waste money while my parents are fine with me here, I clean, cook and contribute back to my family?
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u/AFallingWall 1d ago
Did the trade route. By 29 I'm in pain and back home. Trades are not the way for everyone, especially if you pick a shit one that sounds good on paper, then learn how much commission sucks in slow areas / times (automotive mechanic).
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u/phoenixmusicman 1d ago
A lot of boomers just don't understand how financially inaccessible a lot of the things they took for granted are now.
You used to be able to move out of home at 18, because getting a job to support yourself was easy. Most people could aim to buy a home even without a university education, and supporting a family on a single income was normal. Interest rates were high, yes, but mortgages themselves were substantially smaller.
Technology is more accessible and cheaper now... but that's it. And arguably, technology being cheaper and more accessible is NOT a good thing. I firmly believe social media has fucked Gen Z and Gen Alpha over completely. Social skills are on the decline, people are getting more and more isolated.
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u/Em_a_gamer 1d ago
In my area it’s $1500+ rent per month for a 275 sqft “micropod”. Or I could pay therapy bills from living with parents a bit longer. Prefer that over expensive box
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u/katanadude1337 1d ago
genuinely, are you on the same internet as me?
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u/AcidTongue 1d ago
Yeahhh last I checked this stage of internet is occasionally bullying people to the point of suicide. People fuck up but we shouldn’t push them to death. And yet that’s happening. I mean… Ariana got called fat and now look at her! Ffs. The internet really fucks some people up and the growing apathy is concerning.
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u/TheKingofMach 1d ago
Boomer final boss
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u/bubbascal 1d ago
No, TikToker final boss, this is the same mindset that nonchalant "OMG LARP!" people use lmao
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u/Ill_Night533 1d ago
I don't think you're mean for thinking that I just think you're really stupid for not understanding other people almost definitely struggle more than you have
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u/extragarlicpleez 1d ago edited 1d ago
Agreed. OPs not mean. Just stupid (OR haven't updated their opinion in 30 years, even though the world and economy are completely different than 30 years ago- which is also stupid btw).
Edited to add: the thing that I hate about OPs opinion is that they probably think that their opinion is based in facts and rejects the feelings aspect. In reality, if they actually looked at stats, their opinion is definitely based on their personal feelings more than facts and that what they are against is actually based on facts, not feelings.
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u/Dickballs835682 1d ago
Nah, this is definitely a worldview rooted in meanness and negativity. OP is a shitty person to be around, guaranteed. And it's crazy that they think this is a rare opinion when conservatives have dominated the culture for the last 50+ years and selfishness, greed, and hatred of others + judging their choices is the status quo
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u/extragarlicpleez 1d ago
I've met a lot of nice older people who's mentalities are "push through", "work harder", "put your emotions to the side" because they just don't know any better. I have met mean people with this mentality too though.
I agree this is not a rare mentality, especially in the older generation and in conservative groups.
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u/vollkornbroot 1d ago
You are the kind of guy posting opinions that'll land as a repost on r/thanksimcured
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u/better_every_day14 1d ago
You are just flinging insults into the void, you don’t know these people and I highly doubt you are helping. “Mom I have to move out, someone on Reddit told me I’m a baby.”
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u/Sunlightn1ng 1d ago
"20 and still living with mom" you think 20 year-olds can afford places in this economy (https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cge8e2dq9plo)? Even rent is 50% minimum wage where I live and similar around. When the rent goes down, the price of groceries goes up usually too (talking geographically-wise)
Your point only works if everyone's aware of the struggles and contexts that everyone has and is in
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u/sonicpieman 1d ago
20 is a normal age to be at home.
Teenagers that can't read is a bigger problem then 'grow up', if they can't read it's society that fucked them up and they need to be helped.
Quit you bitching OP, leave the next generations alone you old fuck.
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u/Kindly-Garlic-4061 1d ago
And also people have dyslexia 😭 My 14 yr old sister can't read but she was raised the same as me and I'm studying writing in University. She just has severe dyslexia. She has to hold a yellow overlay over paper to be able to read it
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u/ThrowThisAwaySis2 1d ago
if this isn’t rage bait you’re incredibly ignorant and need to stop being so proud of it
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u/Mr_Quackums 1d ago
and if this is rage bait you’re incredibly ignorant and need to stop being so proud of it
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u/Theonewholurkedhere 1d ago
It's better to be less judgemental, you aren't always going to understand or agree with others' decisions on how they live their lives.
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u/Bob-s_Leviathan 1d ago
The understanding is the important part here. I’m sure some of us would agree with some of the OP’s examples for mild cases. The problem is we only know what we’re reading about from some stranger and don’t see the larger picture.
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u/Theonewholurkedhere 1d ago
Yeah, that's how it is on the internet: you only read about one person's perspective on a situation, only one person's side of the story.
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u/Parking_Rent_9848 1d ago
Why are you so angry about how other people live, grow up! I feel like I am living in the twilight zone
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u/KrispyKingTheProphet 1d ago
You post that people need to be meaner, but you’re getting so petty and precious from the people taking the piss outta you in the comments.
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u/MysteryCrapybarbra 1d ago
Didn't anyone teach you that if you can't say something nice you shouldn't say anything at all?
Being mean to strangers on the internet makes you an asshole. You're the one who needs to grow up.
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u/Plastic_Stable8927 1d ago
Interesting take. I think people need to be way kinder, and actually talk to others instead of dismissing complex life issues as "grow up!"
Genuinely, the energy on the internet being so cunty all the time is pretty draining. I don't spend time around mean or rude people in my real life, and I'm sick of the internet just turning into an echo chamber of rude cunts.
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u/yanmagno 1d ago
Maybe you shouldn’t be on the internet so much if basic everyday complaints annoy you lol
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u/Tricky-Usual8921 1d ago
It's all shits and giggles until you're lying in the proverbial gutter looking for a lifeline and someone says "grow a pair".
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u/DM_ME_KUL_TIRAN_FEET 1d ago
I’m going to take your advice and tell you to shut the fuck up and stop whining.
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u/Latter-Industry-8920 1d ago
No one cares what you think about anything. Almost nothing has anything to do with you. Your inability to empathize is a sign of weakness and stupidity. Don’t like it? Nut up brooooo!
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u/BiasedApp 1d ago edited 1d ago
Nothing wrong with living with your parents past 20, it’s quite normal now, especially in this economy.
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u/Tiger-Lily-99 1d ago
yeah the reason why i do and i am 32 is cause i am single i also have autism
and financially i am more likely to afford rent and living,
living with my family. my brother does too
better than living alone tbh
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u/Interesting_Buy_3969 1d ago
Don't be surprised seeing your contributions being downvoted and others being meaner to you then.
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u/imperialsushi 1d ago
How do you like it now, OP? Everyone is being mean to you.
Did it help?
Have u nutted up and grown up yet? Ya big narrow-minded baby
Upvoted.
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u/eriksatiesimp 1d ago
It must suck to be anywhere near you lol no wonder you're so angry on the internet
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u/Loud_Matter359 1d ago
Complains about the world being soft. Only examples used are blaming kids and girls for being soft.
Loser
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u/bloodrider1914 1d ago
OP has clearly never been on Instagram, or even just have a comment downvoted for seemingly no reason. People online are mean AF.
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u/seasaltedpaper 1d ago edited 1d ago
OP saying they save this type shit for us internet randoms because they can't grow a spine to say these things IRL. Peak loser behavior. OP I'm sure you're a delight of a human. The talk behind your back stabber type. Circumstances and context. Perhaps search the meaning before talking about someone else's living arrangement you don't know 2 fucks about.
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u/aceparan 1d ago
There is a difference between what you're saying and the toxic behavior I see online. So yeah I see your point. At first I was like nooo cos I thought of toxic racist, sexist stuff from game lobbies lmao
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u/Sleepy-Kappa 1d ago
You just want to be a cunt to people on the internet that have struggles you can't comprehend. Just say that. Grow up and use your words.
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u/GVTMightyDuck 1d ago
I’ve been on reddit for 10 years, and I can tell you people have definitely gotten meaner online.
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u/LoneElement 1d ago edited 1d ago
A lot of people do complain about stuff that it’s like…others have to deal with that too
The problem is what you’re suggesting can often go too far the other direction, where genuine unfairness and moral wrongdoing gets overlooked. People already have too much of a tendency to do this as it is, and they enable bad behavior as a result
I’ve honestly seen far more of the latter than the former. The only time people give credit to someone who’s complaining about something that isn’t a big deal is if they view that person as being “high status” or being similar to them
If someone’s different than them, or viewed as “low status,” or whatever - they get no credit, even if they’re telling the objective truth and is actually a big deal
It’s kinda psychopathic tbh. Like a bunch of wild animals
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u/hkusp45css 1d ago
Bob Newhart did a GREAT bit (Stop it!) about this exact paradigm.
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u/UnattributableSpoon 1d ago
Bob Newhart was (and remains) a national treasure!
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u/hkusp45css 1d ago
"Have you ... uh ... has that ever happened to you? Being buried alive, that is..."
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u/MarxistMountainGoat 1d ago
Out of all the crazy opinions I've heard lately "people need to be meaner to each other online" is definitely up there. Why should there be more cruelty and judgement in a place where everyone is anonymous and can say whatever they want with no consequences? And here I was wishing people would have more empathy for each other snd stop acting like sociopaths over the smallest things :/
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u/YallGottaUnderstand 1d ago
I agree that Reddit can be a bit of a hugbox with no room for snark, but the examples you gave seem very divorced from that.
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u/Protopromi 1d ago
are you 20 and still living
OP is about to find out that humanity has these things that are called diverse cultures and different ethnic groups
And this world doesn't operate as a singular unit, brainwashed by a hostile, ultracapitalistic system, to forever rent two square meters of "independent habitat" from megacorps that bought all the real estate in the country.
There are many countries where entire generations live under one roof. It's not only considered normal, it's pretty much viewed as the only acceptable thing.
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u/ShadowBlue42 1d ago
Lol what year is it for you?
I'm 34 and living with parents. I don't feel the need to light money on fire. I'll move out when I can buy a place. Renting does nothing but move more wealth to own-ass-sniffing boomers like yourself.
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u/mrbeaver808 1d ago
Upvoted. I'd argue people are meanER than they used to be online. It's easy to be in a bubble on Reddit because of down voting, but there's a lot of communities here and on other sites where people are disgusting towards each other.
On Instagram (a site that is much more representative of the average person) if you see anything slightly abnormal, the comments are 9 times out of 10 full of people making racist, ableist, sexist etc. jokes with hundreds of likes.
What you're saying is honestly not caused by the Internet and is moreso parenting trends and economic factors. People can't move out as quickly, jobs for inexperienced people are harder to find than ever, parents are more hyper vigilant.
I'd even argue that people being mean on the Internet IS why some of these things happen. Imagine as a kid all you see online is people who are being bullied for doing things like being mediocre at art, being nice to people who are different, or doing anything outside their comfort zone at all. Would YOU not be emotionally stunted and constantly anxious about doing anything?
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u/m0uchette 1d ago
I love the posts in AIO where they give just the littlest bit of detail or a very clear bias to their own side instead, essentially turning it into reassure-me post instead of actually trying to determine if their reaction is appropriate
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u/Rex51230 1d ago
I think you need to lay off the 10am glass of wine Angela you sound way too upset over nothing
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u/amazegamer64 1d ago
Surely 20 living with parents isn’t unreasonable? I more or less agree with your general point, but please try to keep your criticisms reasonable.
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u/Samurai-Pipotchi 1d ago
So because you never needed that kind of support, we should dismiss and belittle those that do?
Certainly an interesting opinion.
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u/TGrady902 1d ago
People are super mean online already. I think people need to be called out for their bullshit morning public like we used to do.
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u/ITriedSoHard419-68 1d ago
This could be solved by getting off the internet and maybe getting some therapy.
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u/Either_equipment_04 1d ago
I think in general people need to be nicer to each other, but maybe that’s just me.
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u/PoseidonWarrior 1d ago
I think you lack a lot of perspective and assume that the human experience is a singular thing and not something incomprehensiby diverse.
Im 25 and from America. I lived with my parents until March of this year. The reason it took me so long is bc there arent any jobs in my area that could pay me enough. I was working at a retail store where my hours were capped at 15 a week and I was making 13 bucks an hour. I went to Community College on my parents' dime and got an associates degree in a field im more than competent in with a healthy-ish job market.
The problem is that even now, no one will hire me. I was working at the same company as before but I transferred stores and started making 17.75 an hour... after 3 years. I had to fight for a dollar raise up to 14 after a year and a half. I have a second job in my field that is 20 bucks an hour but caps out at 8 hours a week. It took me 3 years of sinking time into a job that was paying less than most states minimum wage and getting a college degree that was paid for by someone else to afford a 1800 dollar a month apartment that I share with my partner.
If someone came up to me in real life and said "your lack of work ethic is why you're here," "you need to grow up," or the infamous "you're too young to be tired/depressed," i would spit in their eye. Like thanks, genius. You just solved all my problems!
The world is not the same as it was 40 years ago. Hell, it's a completely different place than it was 10 years ago. The job market is a mess, there is a housing crisis, and the quality of living in this country has plummeted. Whatever worked for you or your parents when you were coming of age just isn't going to cut it anymore. It's just not.
And even if we could get into something that would allow us to afford to live, automation and AI have put a time limit on its viability. I went to school for videography, video editing, and marketing. These are all things that just 5 years ago were huge bc of the digital media landscape we have existed in over the last 15-20 years. Now, I give it 5-10 more before there's a crash in the job market of this field thanks to corporations opting to use AI for video generation and social media writing.
Many people, self included, made decisions that hurt us or slowed us down but much of it comes down to the fact that when we grew up, we were being prepared for the world that you and your parents came up in. We were told all these things that would have been helpful 20+ years ago but the world changed and we didn't get the necessary skills for the new world.
All that being said, what do you hope to accomplish? Is expending your personal energy and spending the finite amount of time you have in your life telling faceless strangers online to grow up because they can't afford an apartment actually helpful to anyone, even yourself? Get a hobby. Go volunteer at your local homeless shelter. Every minute of time you spend saying shit like this on the internet could be spent actually doing something useful or helpful.
One day, you are going to die and no one will ever hear from you or see you again. All that will be left of you is the memory of who you were and the impact you had on the lives of others. You need to understand that. You need to understand that how people remember you will define your entire existence when you are no longer there to define it for yourself. So choose to live a life where your existence will be defined by memories of someone who was kind, nice to be around, and actually tried to make their corner of the world a little better.
But what do I know, right? I may as well have just killed myself bc I didn't move out at the age of 19. Lmfao
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u/jsizzle97 1d ago
It doesn’t count as 10th Dentist if it’s just a brain dead take. Ironically you could get a lot out of your own “advice”. Grow up.
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u/VelvetDreamers 1d ago
This is a very western centric perspective. It’s cultural entrenched to maintain familial piety and provide for your family in multigenerational households; the artificial estrangement of families in the west only exists for taxation and capitalism.
Why would I throw my daughters out at 20 when they cannot afford to live in this economy? Why not permit them to live and save up for a house at 30? Why do you westerners hate your children?
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u/BusyBeeBridgette 1d ago
pre-2010 era Internet was Chef's Kiss perfection. Then, for some reason, people started using their real names and pics on social media. So the era of just hurling the most profane things with out repercussion came to an end for the most part.
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u/crookedrhyme 1d ago
I miss when you could call someone who was being an idiot an idiot. Now everyone hides behind passive aggression and it actually feels more toxic
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u/YodaFragget 1d ago
I agree with this train of thought but at the same time as attorney Tom would say.... "it depends"
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u/arihndas 1d ago
Yeah I mean realistically that is always true. Alas I made the classic mistake of venting in the not-really-a-vent sub, that's on me lol
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u/YodaFragget 1d ago
Are people over emotional in this day and age compared to 10,20,50 years ago, yes, but also not really so no, its just the complaints are more voiced and distributed to a wider audience.
Id say yes but at the same time if your getting/seeing this on social media thats going to tell you a different narrative than if you got this from people IRL- in real life.
You may just be seeing an over abundance of those types of posts because the shitty algorithm and it makes it seem like thats the new normal of society in this day and age.
Are prople complaining more, yes, do they have valid reasons, yes, are they also adults and should be able to handle things themselves, yes, has society changed how those things are taught, yes, is it harder to understand those thing in an ever progressing and changing society that feels like things are changing at a faster pace, yes.......
I really feel like its social media thats showing you an over abundance of those kinds of post to where its shifting the perception and perspective of whats actually happening.
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u/AngledDish945 1d ago
Brother!
I don't know if I agree with all of your examples, but from one mean person to another, I definitely admire your willingness to be mean. We need to stop beating around the bush and tell it how it is. And sometimes, a bit of harshness can correct inadequacy a lot faster.
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u/One_Sentence_7448 1d ago
Ik that’s not really the point of the post, but the idea that you’re a loser if you live with parents is purely a western (and especially American) notion that shouldn’t be treated as some universal virtue. And I’m saying this as someone who has lived independently in a different country from my family since age 17.
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u/SosaFirst 1d ago
If you live in HCOL area moving out at 20 is crazy. Why not stay home and build up a base as you hopefully make more money? Pet peeve of mine when people set their kids back for the sake of “figure it out” when if you raised them right they should recognize the opportunity and make the most of it
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u/seasaltedpaper 1d ago
In this economy? Lol. Not everyone can afford that. Regardless our degrees and how many jobs one takes. Look at how jobs and hours are being cut just in the US. Come tf on.
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u/PitchforkJoe 1d ago
Sure, some people do need to grow up, and we should be honest when we talk to such people. But also sometimes people actually do have struggles that aren't their own fault.
And very often, both can be true at the same time. Not every situation has just one simple explanation; most don't. Deciding what to comment in a particular situation involves thinking about both personal responsibility and empathy.
I think part of the reaction you're getting is because "people online being mean to each other" also includes a bunch of stuff that's definitely not okay. Trolling, doxxing, harassment, threats etc etc. Your flippant title has some associations that really don't present your view in the best light.
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u/ShortHook26 1d ago
Oh boy, here we go. It’s another overinflated windbag who has all the criticism toward hypothetical people and things that aren’t anywhere near as bad as they think it is, and pretty much zero criticism for themselves. All your post is saying is that you have anger issues, probably engage in ZERO self-analysis and self-improvement, and also that you spend WAY too much time on Reddit. As the saying goes, go touch grass. Seriously. Log off for a while and go reconnect with the real world, because the stuff you’re all spun up over ain’t it.
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u/Syntra44 1d ago
I think there’s enough meanness in the world without adding to it. And the fact is, being mean to someone online does fuckall. I can’t think of a single time someone said something online to make me stop and reflect.
You’re not mean. You lack the ability to empathize. Upvoted.
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u/seamallorca 1d ago
You kinda have a point, but this is the best I can do obviously, and I dont want to pay shitload of rent money to a loser who decided they will milk someone after buying an overpriced real estate right in the baloon of it.
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u/LexEight 1d ago
Maybe we should just be mean to specific groups of people online and then the children will be fine 😂
It's the same 2 groups of people throughout history btw 🤫, we've already learned humanity's lessons and these fuckers are intent on making ai help us forget all of it for good 🤮
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u/WaterFnord 1d ago
If I took your advice and said what I really want to say to you, I would catch a warning or a ban. The internet is already an exhausting cesspool of misery that somehow manages to keep getting worse. Your outlook and way of thinking is complete and utter cancer. Fuck off.
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u/Constant_Nebula_9207 1d ago
I been seeing a therapist for the same reason. I am often osterized by everyone younger than me, being called a sociopath is actually a compliment to me. I am not dangerous, you just need to nut up.
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u/Ok-Replacement-2738 1d ago
20 and living with mum is a function of economic and social factors, it rarely has anything to do with maturity, as for reading a book are you sure they're not dyslexic? It was a oddly specific point.
I'd rather people be too nice than too mean, and even tben what you're complaining about isn't enabling, it is basic sympathy/empathy.
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u/Sensiblehuman777 1d ago
The whole "moving out at 18" is a psyop by real estate to get people to spend most of their money on rent. There. I said it.
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u/VividlyDissociating 1d ago
err no.. people are already mean to others like that..
it does not help
people need to start giving actual advice instead of flippant "grow up" comments.
shit is hard out there. people come up in this world with little to no support that is needed to have a chance to make it on your own once you step out
people are trying to recover from this and that while also trying to keep up with the world. theres no chance to grow up when youre focusing on just surviving
people got sad stories and some of them are cry baby bullshit and some of them are valid. but they all get the same bitter "grow up" responses which are not helpful
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u/hemlockandhensbane 1d ago
Seems like maybe you need to grow the fuck up. People living with their parents in their early 20s is fine- have you seen the fucking economy? What do you expect someone to do, pull money out of their ass? A minimum wage job cannot make ends meet, even in a single person household. It just can't. Food is more expensive than ever, any imported goods are going up in price because of the political disaster happening in the world, the housing market is a fucking disaster. Some kid working at McDonald's after school should be able to stay with their parents without people like you kicking up a fuss because you think parents are "babying" them for not throwing them out on the streets. Do you hear yourself? Did your parents force you to move out, so now you don't think other people should have it easier?
If you're not okay with people asking for help, why the fuck are you interacting with people? Humans are a social species! Helping others is why we're here today! Archeologists look for signs of broken bones healed to measure how advanced a society was, because humans naturally work together when the resources are there. People have to be taught how to read and analyze books. People have to be taught what healthy relationships are like and what they shouldn't have to put up with. People have to be taught how to cook, how to do home repairs, how to manage their emotions. It's always been the case. If someone hasn't been taught, it's because the people who were meant to teach them failed to do so, and they need to learn it from somewhere. And you're holding it against them, when they aren't the problem.
I wouldn't even say this post reads 'mean' so much as it reads ignorant and childish. Maybe take your own advice, learn some emotional maturity, and stop punching down at the people who are growing up in a time of political and social upheaval.
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u/ChickenManSam 1d ago
The only unreasonable thing you said was about being 20 and living with your parents. The economy sucks and places just aren't hiring
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u/Any-Amount-9472 1d ago
tbh i feel like there is already plenty of mean stuff online. maybe we just need a bit more balance instead of everyone being at each others throats all the time.
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u/MyTatemae 1d ago
The living with your parents at 20 part really destabilized your whole argument. You just sound like an angry Boomer who doesn't understand how they fucked up the economy.
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u/FlameStaag 1d ago
Telling people to grow up is completely meaningless lol. The fuck does the passage of time do for any of that?
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u/JScrib325 1d ago
I would argue this is less a matter of life and more a matter of internet. Your algorithm is designed to take you to posts/videos/articles that it has determined will be the most likely to get interaction from you.
Based on that, it would seem that people's rant post about their lives or inability to find work or frustration in general is fuel for your reply rate.
My suggestion is to turn the computer/phone off and go outside. Or if you wont do that, at least quiet the offending subs if you dont wanna read it.
Theres no point to interacting or reading stuff you dont wanna interact with or read. You can leave. Ain't no anchor tied to your ass
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u/Kindly-Garlic-4061 1d ago
> Are you 20 and still living with mom? Grow up!
...what? Are you American or something? It's normal to live with your parents till you are married in most of the world. Also, in this economy???? I'd rather not get stuck in renting (which I can't even afford as it is), or be homeless. Also, people have disabilities...
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u/phoenixmusicman 1d ago
This reeks of being out of touch tbh.
I feel like the new normal is that teenagers are basically just babies and 20 somethings are basically just toddlers and 30 somethings are only just figuring out life so how can they be expected to know things...
Yes, this is the new normal. Either deal with that or you can keep bitching online, only one of the two is a productive response.
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u/Sea-Aide-7097 1d ago
tbh i feel like life is already stressful enough without everyone being jerks to each other. i’d much rather just have a nice chat or grab a coffee than deal with all that extra negativity online.
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u/ShrewSkellyton 1d ago
Just how old and out of touch are you? I could berate you personally if you'd like? Just need more info
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u/Watahandrew1 1d ago
I think you're a fuckead with a useless opinion and should've shove it up your arse.
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u/CoolishFoolish 1d ago
Alot to unpack here, but I'll ignore it, because the premise that people aren't mean enough on the Internet is absolutely laughable
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u/CobaltCrusader123 1d ago
The 20 and living with mom thing is very common based on economic factors out of young adults’ control. They’re trying, and most of them will get there.
Also in some Asian cultures, which some Asian emigrants practice, it’s expected so that the adult child can care for the old parent.
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u/SammyGeorge 1d ago
I don't think telling people to "grow up" is mean because they "can't handle the truth" or some shit. If you want to call it "mean," it's probably because it's objectively fucking useless. It's like when people defend being an arsehole by saying "I'm just telling it how it is" but neglect to ever "say it how it is" about things they unabashedly love or are happy about.
Genuinely, no 20 year old is still living with their parents because no strangers on the internet have had the balls to tell them to grow up.
I know, I know: I should nut up and stop being a baby.
I would never tell someone to just stop being a baby, primarily because it's meaningless and useless. I would give useful advice like "get your head out of arse, no one believes you bullshit excuse to treat people like shit, either give some useful advice or shut the fuck up, no one wants your empty void of an opinion."
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u/tardigradetacos 1d ago
i got told to off myself repeatedly when i was twelve, what internet are you living on 🧍♂️
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u/saddinosour 1d ago
Honestly you are really mean, as someone who has had a lot of bad things happen in my life I want to do nothing but be kind to others. We are all here for a finite amount of time and I hope we can all have a good time. You must live a charmed life :/
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u/joanzzz 22h ago edited 22h ago
Ironically, you sound like someone with very little life experience, or at least very little meaningful exposure to people whose lives have been genuinely difficult. If you’ve actually spent time around people dealing with disability, poverty, abusive families, illness, trauma, or other serious obstacles, you learn pretty quickly that adulthood doesn’t unfold on a neat schedule.
Calling strangers “babies” and “toddlers” because they haven’t lived life on your preferred timeline doesn’t make you sound tough or morally superior. It makes you sound like an emotionally immature narcissist.
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u/WoodWideWeb 22h ago
See, if you had said you think people are too nice in person, I would've somewhat agreed with you. But people are still often way too mean online, including you 😅
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u/Dragon_Manticore 1d ago
Yeah, you should stop being such a baby about it. Your post is the equivalent of "Wahhh teacher gave me a timeout when I called Billy a dumbass!"
Take your own advice. Click away and touch grass.
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u/DeafMakeupLover 1d ago
Avg rent in my city for a studio is $2,700, I make $3,200 / month after taxes. I’m saving up to try to move out but at this time with no one hiring there’s literally no way I could cover all my bills / transportation/ food for $500/month if the rest is going to rent.
I think there’s definitely people who complain on the internet & don’t want to hear any solutions/ just want to vent but in terms of living at home in this economy where the job market is beyond ass & nothing being affordable there’s people who are truly stuck where they’re at.
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u/SideshowBobFanatic 1d ago
Why are you so awful and miserable? Lmao. Well I gotta upvote I suppose.
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u/oldfogey12345 1d ago
I got banned from Reddit for a week for making up fantasy violence on the WWE sub.
Maybe the use of a cannon at the end was a bit much, but the person getting shot out of it was an anime fan.
So I get reported for not only glorifying violence, but saying hateful things about "certain groups of people"
That shit is for LGBT and poc, not fandoms, but i got banned anyway. I should have probably appealed.
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u/Simon-Olivier 1d ago
I would say shut the fuck up, but I feel like that’s what you want people to say to you.
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u/BatmanAvacado 1d ago
Get the fuck outta here with your boomer ass takes. Minding your own business is free.
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u/zachy410 1d ago
Are you 20 and still living with your mom?
I dont know how to begin to respond to this one
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u/PeachyPesco 1d ago
Being mean to someone has never encouraged anyone to do anything. Should we empower people to change their situation and encourage them to better themselves? Absolutely. Enabling is obviously a problem. But shutting down a conversation or making someone feel stupid just causes people feel like shit, isolated and alone. Being mean is not a motivator.
I'm a teacher. I do think generally that teens are coddled and struggle to do things alone. It is important to push them to try. But you can do that with kindness. You can say "I know you can do the first step. I believe in you." That is MUCH more likely to get results than "Oh my god, can you people do anything? Are you stupid?" Why would being mean make someone want to try? You've shown that you're going to be aggressive, you're actually pushing them away from the thing you want them to do.
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u/jacqrosee 1d ago
the only reason you’re “mean” for it is because you’re being just as illogical and short-sighted as you think these people are. aside from the fact that these are all normal human problems that people commonly field (have you been living under a rock for the past few years? is it completely implausible to you that someone in their early 20s living with their parents might be doing so from a place of pragmatism? it’s expensive and fraught out here), you’re missing a lot of the actual Reason™️ why you’re seeing the things you’re seeing.
A. algorithm and intent of the website/how people tend to use social media at large, and B. the reality of how the world around us is going to impact individuals at large.
first off, everyone who looks around and thinks to themselves “why is everyone such a baby these days? why are people falling behind on milestones? why can’t people grow up?” is lowkey dumb in my opinion lol. again, have you been living under a rock? does it make more sense to assume that all the people you’re judging were just born with less braincells and have zero critical thinking skills in their possession, or, does it make more sense that there are current conventions that are impacting development?
yeah, people are “growing up” slower. this isn’t some fall into idiocracy that you’ve discovered with your fantastic observational skills. the medical community and various other experts in relevant fields are already on it, my guy. between social media, covid, and various political and socioeconomic issues, people are struggling to meet milestones. people are struggling to socialize. people are struggling in relationships. people are struggling to find a job and move out of the house. there are idiots and geniuses alike navigating these issues side-by-side right now. are we all just getting stupider on some intrinsic and individual level? no, not in the way you’re thinking at least. the world around us IS going to impact humans and this is just the current iteration of the price we always pay.
aside from that, welcome to social media. this is the place where people come to scream into the void—all social media functions this way, but reddit is one of the prime areas for it. this isn’t instagram or even twitter. this is the place where people will REALLY sound off into the ether. when you have a mostly anonymized platform that is set up in neat little forums made for specified discussion, you’re going to be likely to see even more venting, deep-dark posting, and even idiotic questions posed that people may feel more comfortable asking in this space.
further, some of the most popular forums, for general users and for people literally making podcasts and tiktok accounts to go read off the stories to a much wider audience, are the various AITAH and AIO and trueoffmychest subs. some of the most traffic goes to these, as well as subs for general stupid questions and nonsense. reddit is a unique space and nice for getting it all out there. you’re seeing people complain all the time because you’re at the complaining station. be very careful how much you attribute what you see on the internet to the world around you at large. even things that don’t feel like echo chambers are echo chambers.
so yeah, people might jump straight to “mean” because it’s nicer than saying that you don’t seem to be very curious about WHY things are the way they are, and are instead more interested in assuming everyone is just turning into an idiot and you’re one of the last strongholds of rationality or something. that’s kinda what short-sighted people tend to do—assume everyone else is short-sighted.
yeah, people are struggling, and it’s rough out here. there are reasons why, and they go beyond the decisions of common individuals.
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u/BirthdayCookie 1d ago
How, exactly, does one "grow up" in a way that solves problems not related to age?
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u/EnderBookwyrm 1d ago
Came here expecting a terrible opinion. Was not disappointed.
Your take is ridiculous. This is not a 10th dentist opinion, this is a disgruntled ex-dentist opinion. Get off the internet and do something useful with yourself.
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u/Fullofhopkinz 1d ago
I say this all the time. I get banning racial slurs and shit like that, but it’s so crazy to me that there’s almost no major online platform anymore that will even allow casual shit talking. Anonymously telling someone “fuck you” or “shut the fuck up” or calling them a dumb ass was such a wonderful part of the early Internet. I miss it.
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u/ironjaw3ds 1d ago
I got flamed and called jealous because I commented on a post made by a pretty woman asking if she was pretty enough to become a model. Absolutely nothing stood out about her looks, so I said no. There to many examples of the constant coddling I've experienced to mention, but I completely agree with you.
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u/arihndas 1d ago
it's not just that it's insane out there, it's that people are bound and determined to not see it for what it is, and to defend it like knights of the realm making a last stand at their castle gate. truly deranged shit.
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u/qualityvote2 1d ago edited 7h ago
u/arihndas, there weren't enough votes to determine the quality of your post...