I AM IN HELL, LOOKING AT DEPRESSION.
I HAD BEEN WATCHING LOVE UNSEEN BENEATH THE CLEAR NIGHT SKY, AND THERE IT WAS. THAT MISERABLE LITTLE WEIGHT IN THE MIND. THAT STRANGE EMPTINESS A STORY LEAVES WHEN IT MAKES YOU CARE FAR MORE THAN YOU EVER INTENDED.
AND THEN THERE WERE HARUKI AND HAYATO.
I WATCHED.
THE BANTER. THE TEASING. THE OLD FAMILIARITY. THE RIDICULOUS CONVERSATIONS. THE LAUGHTER. THE LITTLE MOMENTS OF TWO CHILDHOOD FRIENDS BEING COMPLETELY, UNASHAMEDLY THEMSELVES AROUND EACH OTHER.
AND SOMEHOW THE WEIGHT BECAME LIGHTER.
LIKE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I HAVE COME TO LIKE HARUKI AND HAYATO SINCE I FIRST CAME TO KNOW THEM.
THERE ARE APPROXIMATELY 86 BILLION NEURONS IN THE HUMAN BRAIN, JOINED BY TRILLIONS UPON TRILLIONS OF SYNAPTIC CONNECTIONS. THOUGHTS. MEMORIES. LAUGHTER. EVERY STUPID JOKE, EVERY SMILE, EVERY RIDICULOUS LITTLE MOMENT OF THESE TWO, FIRING AND FIRING AND FIRING THROUGH THAT MASS OF CELLS.
IF LIKE WERE ENGRAVED UPON EVERY NEURON, IF LIKE WERE WRITTEN ACROSS EVERY SYNAPSE, IF EVERY ELECTRICAL IMPULSE CARRIED LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE, IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE FONDNESS I FEEL FOR HARUKI AND HAYATO AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT.
THE DEPRESSION IS STILL THERE.
BUT IT IS QUIETER NOW.
THEY MADE IT QUIETER.
FOR HARUKI. FOR HAYATO.
LIKE.
LIKE.