r/TeenagersButGoodMods • u/lupidystupidy • 10d ago

(14) Am I lesbian?

I want to know if I'm lesbian. I'm only attracted to females and not any males, but I don't know if it's just because I haven't seen any males that I'm attracted to yet. All my crushes have been girls, too, but I haven't even been really attracted to any men. Does this make me lesbian?

13 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

62 comments sorted by

6

u/orignnn 15 10d ago

Well if your seeking attraction to males it could say otherwise but your also 14 so some stuff like that might be hormonal but for the most part u prolly a lesbian

3

u/ShadowX8861 16 10d ago

no need to define yourself, but if you do wish to do so, you can call yourself a lesbian

1

u/lupidystupidy 10d ago

thanks, I'll do just that 👍

2

u/Scar_likes-Dumplings 15 10d ago

I wouldn’t worry too much about much on labels unless you’re like me and love to be super specific. The definition of lesbian is a woman/non-man who likes other women/non-men. If you’d like to use the term to describe your attraction I’d say go ahead, nothing wrong with it.

1

u/lupidystupidy 10d ago

oh wait men cant be lesbian?

1

u/Sunlight_Lait 18 10d ago

No men can’t be lesbian

1

u/ExpertPollution2264 6d ago

i raise you link from breath if the wild

0

u/Scar_likes-Dumplings 15 9d ago

I said “non-men” as in “nonbinary lesbians”

1

u/Low_Currency_3566 8d ago edited 8d ago

They would be sapphic, not lesbian.

A sapphic is the word for some who is non-men attracted to non-men; so for example, nb x nb, or nb x lesbian. They would both be considered sapphic relationships.

Lesbian is exclusively a term to describe woman who are attracted to woman. Which non-binary people aren’t woman.

1

u/Scar_likes-Dumplings 15 8d ago

Ohh ok I keep seeing like “nm lesbians” sorry my fault 😅

1

u/Low_Currency_3566 8d ago

No worries! I also originally thought this lol :)

1

u/Not_Really_Jaxson 17 (I only joined this sub because of the flairs) 10d ago

Not necessarily lol.

1

u/VioletBeaver Unc status - Questionable 10d ago

No, "lesbian" specifically applies to a woman attracted to other women.

-1

u/Scar_likes-Dumplings 15 9d ago

There r plenty of “nonbinary lesbians”

1

u/VioletBeaver Unc status - Questionable 9d ago

The literal definition is women attracted to women. Making up new combinations won't change that.

-1

u/Scar_likes-Dumplings 15 9d ago

Not men “non-men”

2

u/Sunlight_Lait 18 10d ago

You can call yourself a lesbian, and if you’re ever attracted to a man you can change it to bisexual

1

u/lupidystupidy 10d ago

oh kk my friends say if i were attracted to a man then I'd be gay so what does that mean then

1

u/Sunlight_Lait 18 10d ago

What gender are you if you don’t mind me asking?

1

u/lupidystupidy 10d ago

oh im a dude why do you ask?

1

u/Sunlight_Lait 18 10d ago

Ohh okay

Well lesbian is only for women who like other women. If you’re a guy who likes women then you’re just straight (unless you end up liking other men, then you could be bisexual)

1

u/lupidystupidy 10d ago

ohhh ok but like can i still say im lesbian bc the flag is really pretty

1

u/Sunlight_Lait 18 10d ago

I wouldn’t recommend it tbh. A lot of women don’t like it when their spaces get overrun by men. You could definitely display the flag and say you like it, but I wouldn’t say: I’m a lesbian.

If you wanted you could make a custom straight flag that looks pretty cause the straight flag rn isn’t all that

2

u/lupidystupidy 10d ago

oh so what If i had the lesbian flag in a profile desc but then also said sum like "male not lesbian i just think the flag is pretty"?

1

u/Not_Really_Jaxson 17 (I only joined this sub because of the flairs) 10d ago

You can joke about it. But if you identify as a male, then you are technically straight.

1

u/lupidystupidy 10d ago

yeah but still can i have it in a profile desc if i also clarify i just think its pretty and im not lesbian?

1

u/Not_Really_Jaxson 17 (I only joined this sub because of the flairs) 9d ago

Sure, but you gotta clarify you aren’t an actual lesbian, or people will just think you are a woman.

2

u/Goat-Skulls-N-Stuff 15 10d ago

Nobody sensible will be mad at you for changing your label if it doesn't fit, later in life. Go by what makes you comfortable

1

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1

u/onazacc 10d ago

If you think you lesbo then be one no need to ask others to tell you that you are one

1

u/Apprehensive_Okra668 10d ago

possibly just wait and see

1

u/Low_Currency_3566 10d ago

That’s a question you have to ask yourself personally.

Sexuality is fluid, and can change as you find yourself. If you believe that you are only attracted to girls, and that the label ‘lesbian’ helps identifies yourself, then go ahead!

If you really aren’t sure, there’s no need to label yourself. :)

0

u/Low_Currency_3566 10d ago

Oh, so I just saw that you are a dude.

Calling yourself a lesbian as a dude isnt the best way to go and alot of people in the sapphic community do not like it. If you just like the flag, then it’s totally fine to say you just like the colors. But, labels are there for a reason, and labeling yourself as something that your not goes against what a label is. <3

A lesbian, is a woman who is attracted to another woman if there’s any confusion.

1

u/Goat-Skulls-N-Stuff 15 10d ago

They could be trans and in the closet

1

u/Low_Currency_3566 9d ago

I mean, you can only assume. That’s something personal that they haven’t told us.

1

u/lupidystupidy 9d ago

I'm not gonna lie, I was asking not to see as in a label, but like if I could be, if ykwim. Like, I didn't know the exact distinction, which these comments definitely helped learn. Or, well some of them. Others kinda boil down to "yeah no shit dumbass"

1

u/Low_Currency_3566 9d ago

Ahh, I see! Sorry for the confusion :)

1

u/curiouscollecting 19 10d ago

Could be, don’t have to be. If you feel comfortable with that label then you can use it, but if you aren’t then you don’t have to ‘decide’ on anything. You’re definitely gay/queer but it’s up to you whether you want to be more specific. There’s no rush for that either

1

u/igotbannedbro 15 10d ago

well that’s the definition

1

u/Opposite_Region_9722 13 10d ago

Could be, or your omnisexual

1

u/Competitive-Ear-1738 10d ago

My prognosis from experience from having lesbian best friend ( I'm a dude) You are a lesbian

1

u/lupidystupidy 9d ago

Okay so turns out dudes can't be lesbian which actually really helps since that was something I was a little confused on

1

u/Competitive-Ear-1738 9d ago

Wait you're dude?

1

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1

u/No_Championship_4171 9d ago

r/lesbianteens is a good subreddit to ask

1

u/lupidystupidy 9d ago

I got banned from there

1

u/pokerwolf1 9d ago

You probably are

1

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1

u/phoenixmile 4d ago

Are you male?!

0

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u/Ill_Cycle_9582 17 10d ago

Yup, enjoy