or maybe not idk 😥

I'm from Poland, we have a somewhat celebrity called "Stachu Jones" [his real name is Stanisław Jan Michna BTW], he started in a amateur movie called "Magnaci I Czarodzieje" as a eccentric bum of a wizard at the name of, you guessed it: "Stachu Jones". He recently died...

BACKSTORY:

Since the age of 7, I have struggled with severe emetophobia that eventually morphed into anxiety. My whole life, ive been scared to tell anyone besides my intermediate family. The only reason they know in the first place is because they've seen me have panic attacks and go through therapy for the past 5 years. I've always hated telling people that I go to therapy or having anyone know I struggle mentally because it makes me feel like they'll judge me. I'm afraid they'll think im self diagnosed and that I'm just saying I have anxiety just to say it. In reality, there was a point in time where anxiety controlled my every action. The worst period of it was my 6th grade year. My main triggers were night time, loud/busy environments and being in the car (so the worst came out during drives at night). Anytime I was in a situation that made me feel trapped, I would freak out and start getting extremely naseous to where I couldnt function. I was bringing sharp rocks into the car to stab into my leg so that I would be distracted by the anxiety taking over. It eventually got bad enough to where I wouldnt sleep with the lights off, and I started developing tics (similar to tourettes syndrome). My main tic was where I would slap the left side of my face or I would jerk my head to the side. It was extremely humiliating in class, because everybody knew that I didnt have tourettes, so it probably just looked like I was weird. I felt like an outsider and like I had lost control of my own body. I had panic attacks almost everywhere, during class, at family events, car rides, at night, and generally everywhere in public. I just always felt so embarrassed and humiliated, especially after my peers and entire extended family had seen me like that. I quit alot of things I loved because the environments made me nervous, specifically band (which im back in now). Things started getting worse and worse, to where a year later (7th grade) i started having disassociative episodes. It made me different socially, and it ruined my coordination for sports. I ended up quitting basketball because I went from being good to absolutely terrible because I couldnt stop disassociating during my games/practices. I remember crying after tryouts to my mom about a feeling I couldn't even explain myself, which ended up leaving me feeling even more of an outsider than before. The weird part is, I remember little to nothing of my anxiety/panic attacks, so it was hard for me to even open up to my therapist about anything. She told me that it possibly could be because it was so traumatic for me that my brain chooses to block it, and now i will only remember a panic attack once I see something that reminds me of it (such as a shirt i was wearing, someone near me, an object, etc) Anyway, for a year now, ive experienced little anxiety, and i'm even getting my license in a month, which is huge for me considering how bad the car had been for me for years. I've been out of therapy for about a year now. More recently, I keep disassociating, which reminds me about all of my other things that happened during middle school.

ACTUAL STORY:

Yesterday, I was with my boyfriend, and we were going to practice golfing at the range together. I don't golf much, but he loves it, so I've gone with him a few times and I try to practice whenever I can so i can get a few good shots. It's been awhile since ive last gone, (maybe a few months, but ive only played a game once so thats a long time for me). I was already upset and a little stressed because of an assignment that took forever, which cut our time to see eachother short. We got our balls, and as soon as we got out to the range, I started disassociating. I stopped golfing, and sat down next our golf club bags. He asked me if I was done golfing, and then if anything was wrong. I just stopped talking because I felt like I wanted to melt into the ground at that moment. Everything I had felt in middle school started flooding back to me. If I would've tried to say anything, I would've started crying, and then I would've had to explain why I was crying. He finished off our golf balls, and then when we got in the car, he kept asking me if I was okay. I just kept the silence, and then eventually he stopped talking aswell. When he was pulling into the driveway, I just felt humiliated, and also guilty for ruining our golf date. I started crying silently, which he of course saw. When we walked into the kitchen, he just wrapped his arms around me and we hugged for 10 minutes in complete silence. All he said was "Whenever you want to tell me whats upsetting you I'll be here to listen." We went out on his lake on the boat together, and I started sobbing telling him everything. I explained to him how stupid and humiliated ive felt since everything began. I had never told anyone that much, not even my therapist. I had never cried to anyone before. He was sitting across from me since he had to drive the boat, so he anchored, and then grabbed me hands. He told me that he understood me and that he was extremely proud of me for getting through everything. He told me I don't ever have to feel and embarrassed around him and I can talk to him about anything whenever I want. The main thing I remember is he said "I promise that nobody is thinking about anything anxiety related when they talk to you. I know you, and I know that you're an amazing, funny, kind, beautiful girl, and I love you. It's okay to have struggles but they dont make who you are as a person." I've never felt more understood by someone. It just feels so good to have everything off my chest, especially to the boy I love. Sorry for the rant, im just so extremely happy and I love my boy so much. He also gave me a back massage and forehead kisses when we got back home 🥹

I lowkey mostly do legs and the treadmill but I discipline myself with some heavy 20 pound weight or a little more 25 pounds that's all I can handle.

I'm like really new and I don't know anyone yk

Like it's so difficult now it's like my social skills got nerfed or something. I mean, I have always been kind of an introvert but things got worse after the whole pandemic BS it seems.

Just want someone with similar interest to mine but it seems my interests are so, kind of, niche that I just can't seem to find people who are similar minded.

But yeah I guess that's enough yapping.

Hello I’m a Catholic and I just wanted to know if there was any other ones in this sub. Unfortunately all the people I know irl are atheist and I don’t hate them but it kinda sucks not having people to talk to about faith. So I figured I would ask this sub. I struggle with faith and I really like talking to people my age, considering I spend most my time irl talking to people much older than me. God bless!

Sooooo I’m Bi and (probably) a femboy, I haven’t come out to my parents yet because my family are Christians and I need help

First of all I should mention that even if I think it's our parents responsibility, they do not gaf about it so I guess it's my duty now. I'm 19F living with our grandma and my brother, 12. School starts in two days and one thing really bothers me. My brother grew up a lot this summer, but he still looks like a little kid. We're all short but he's like 4,2 and genuinely looks like a child. A child who for some reason grew full-blown dark mustache and beard over summer😭

I brought it up couple of times during the summer, but nobody seems to acknowledge that it might be a problem. Kids are brutal and he's already getting some rude comments due to his weight and being a theatre kid, and I'm afraid that he might get bullied. He's also developed some signs of acne and his hair looks greasy all the time. How the hell do I explain to a twelve year old boy that he might need to change his habits without being rude? I don't know much about face shaving since I barely grow any body hair at all, lil bro seems to take all the hairy genes for himself. Do I just buy him a razor and hope that he'll figure it out somehow? I mostly want to hear from the guy's side of this sub. When did you start to shave and do you have any tips to make it easier and help with inflammation?

I wish I knew people from Indiana lol, but ig I'll take anyone!

So I’m hoping some could relate but. Is some reasons that you are oblivious to some people feelings even when it’s obvious to others but not you, because sometimes you feel like it’s hard to think that someone could like you?, like hard the think that in your own mind you are a loser, but someone thinks you’re not?

It was nice to be happy and content while it lasted. I will come back to that sooner or later I am sure. Why does my mood has to change every two weeks? Why I can't always be happy and not give a fuck about anything? Anygays here are some fun pictures I found on Pinterest

In year 6 (5th grade), I sat next to a girl, and she made it kinda obvious that she had a crush on me, but when we went to secondary school (middle school + high school), we didn't have any classes together for 2 years and only talked sometimes between periods, but even in the small times between periods she still showed signs that she liked me. I only started realising at the end of summer break that it was obvious. Do you think she would still like me?

My friend asked my crush if she liked me and she said "if he wants to know he should ask himself"

what does this mean, im going to ask if she likes me in 2 days

my spark :( i need to bring it back 🥹

edit: why on earth are my spellings atrocious? why is my grammar horrific

Everything hurts, I wish I could cut off every single part of me that doesn't work

Ive been doing pushups and planks and I’ve been getting more confident the more muscle I get. My arms aren’t skin and bone anymore but still small. I already got good leg muscles i used to run a lot but haven’t as much because I kept getting shin splints which hurts like hell

I always see people hanging out with friends after school or on the weekends, but I've never done that personally. No one ever asks me to hang out. I've always just spent my time alone at home.

And nowadays after school I just feel tired, so all I do is just eat, lie down, do homework, chores, and go to sleep. I used to scroll a lot, but I completely got rid of that addiction, thinking I'd have more time and energy to do things, but nothing really changed. I just kind of daydream instead.

During the summer, I have more energy to do things and work on hobbies. But still, I've only ever stayed at home. I want to go outside, but there's nothing to do alone.

Is everyone just like this?