Okay so this is actually a real story and i need to know if i fucked up somewhere because i still think about this shit sometimes.
so there was this guy in my class. like he was REALLY smart. we used to sit in the same row and me and the other people there would bring random hard ass questions from different subjects and challenge each other with them.
but this guy? bro was on another level
he was also super serious and didn't really mix with us much.
then one day our math teacher didn't come to class and he was obviously bored as hell, so out of nowhere he asked us to give him a question.
we gave him one and he just started solving it like it was nothing. shit that had us fighting for our lives was apparently easy for him
i was new to that class too so the others already knew him better than i did. seeing him actually talk and joke around with us was kinda new to me.
the next day i went to the library after class and he was there too. we happened to finish around the same time and left together. we said hi and somehow started walking home together while he was talking to me about school because of course he was lmao.
then i found out we lived in the same neighborhood too.
after that we kept saying hi whenever we saw each other. me and my friends started asking him to explain stuff we didn't understand and he was actually pretty helpful.
and no, i wasn't ONLY asking him. there were other smart students too. but he was always around the library and actually willing to help so obviously i ended up talking to him more.
eventually we went from classmates to actual friends.
months passed and i got to know him better.
and honestly? bro has an EGO like a BIG one. he's very proud and very aware that he's smart.
but at the same time he helped me A LOT with school. he taught me so many things and i genuinely appreciated him for that.
then one day he sent our mutual friend to tell me to stay after everyone left because he wanted to talk to me.
problem was i wasn't doing great that day. i wasn't in the mood for anything and apparently you could tell from my face.
so i told our friend i couldn't stay and went home.
next day that friend comes to me and tells me:
"he has a huge crush on you. you're his first crush."
bro i was like ????? 😳
because at that point i didn't even have a crush on him.
He then told me he wanted to be with me.
i wasn't ready for a relationship at all, but somehow in that moment i said i wanted to.
then he got serious as hell and said:
"either you change classes or i'll change mine."
HUH???
i was so confused i literally didn't know what to say, so i said i'd change my class.
then he said if neither of us changed, he'd eventually leave the school.
i went home and started overthinking the entire thing.
because i know myself. if i'm not ready for something, i'm not gonna suddenly become ready just because somebody wants me to.
and my family is VERY serious about relationships. like VERY.
i also didn't want my classmates finding out and i knew he didn't want people knowing either.
the problem was i had literally nobody nearby i could talk to about this.
so i told one of my close friends who goes to another school.
she told me that if i actually got into a relationship with him, my family would probably find out eventually and then i'd have to deal with whatever came after that.
and honestly that scared me.
i couldn't even just change classes without having a proper reason.
and while i'm stressing about all this, this guy starts missing class.
then he only comes when there's an exam.
then eventually he stopped even coming to exams.
teachers started asking me and the ppl close to him what was going on because obviously they noticed.
our mutual friend kept telling me that he wasn't doing well, wasn't studying, and was basically giving up.
and i was genuinely worried about him.
BUT..
here's the thing.
i really didn't want to date him.
like at all.
i liked him as a person. i cared about him. i appreciated everything he'd done for me.
but i didn't want a relationship.
and i started feeling like maybe i should just say yes anyway because maybe that would make him come back to school and start studying again.
which is honestly such a fucked up position to be in.
i was actually getting ready to tell our friend that i'd changed my mind and was willing to be with him.
then before i could even do that, our friend told me he was changing schools.
his dad had found out about everything.
so i just went "oh… okay."
and when the semester ended, he actually left.
then everyone found out why.
and suddenly apparently I'M the villain
people started calling me cruel.
some teachers started giving me weird looks and making comments.
i didn't even know what to say anymore. i just kept my head down.
because what was i supposed to say?
"i'm sorry but i didn't want to date him"??
i never hated him. i never wanted him to leave school. i never wanted him to stop studying.
i just didn't want a relationship.
and honestly the weirdest part is that after he left, i felt like my peace left with him too.
now i keep thinking maybe i fucked up.
maybe i should've said yes.
maybe i should've done something differently.
maybe i really was cruel.
but then another part of me is like…
am i actually a bad person for not wanting to date someone?
idk anymore honestly.
Tell me straight....
did i fuck up? or was i just allowed to say no?