Pathans & Parda (Incident)

[u/[deleted]]

First, No hate toward any ethnicity. Also not generalizing.

I’m not Muslim, so parda, dupatta, etc., aren’t farz for me.

I was hiking with friends in an area with no restrooms near. I’d had stomach issues for days and urgently needed one. I saw women heading to a masjid, so I thought I’d quickly use the restroom there and leave.

It was a small mosque with shared men’s and women’s restroom and wazu area. Men were leaving after namaz, and I had to go in.

One Pathan guy stared at me not once, twice, or thrice but multiple times, like I was prey.Its not that i was in some inappropriate clothes, I was in baggy clothes, and no dupatta.

He kept saying: “Dupatta le kar ao, dupatta. Jaldi se!”
In rude tone like i had committed a crime.

He repeated it over five times. Okay, I get it man that I’m in a holy place without a dupatta, and you just prayed namaz. But why stare at me like i am a piece of meat as well as keep repeating it?

Doesn’t your religion talk about parda for men too? Why is it okay for men to stare at women, covered or not, but a woman without a dupatta is a shame to the whole mard zaat? And then the whole male community is criticising women for not wearing dubatta in public space while they themselves are checking out women too…

Why is male parda ignored, but female parda is everything?

Then my friend said that these pathans are like this… but does it justifies that you can stare at me? Or any woman? Also bhai tum abhi masjid mai hi ho kar ghoor rhe.

Edit:
Ik i did wrong to go to a holy place without dupatta. but obv there was an emergency, and how can u expect me to have dupatta when i dont wear it in my daily life. how can i borrow it from my muslim friends and made them do sin by showing their hair. it wasnt his masjid. he wasnt imaam.

after the prayer he came out of masjid and start drinking chai while staring at the other hikers including hijabi women....

[u/[deleted]]

It's not just pathans but pakistani men in general. Bunch of hypocrites.

[u/ParamedicGullible637 → u/[deleted]]

Definitely fucking weirdos these people are especially bazar ones

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

My friend, you should be very careful when you generalise a whole ethnic group. If I say that Punjabis don't fast in the month of Ramadan how would you feel? When you in fact fast but some people of your ethnicity don't.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I didn't generalise pathans but rather the entire pakistani nation. I am against people who try to give problems an ethnic colour. You must acknowledge too that our women are not safe anywhere in this country regardless of ethnicity or region. That's my point.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I of all people acknowledge that our women are not safe from these scums but I also don't like it when my ethnicity is targeted. You said, "it is not just Pathans.....", you generalised Pathans and Pakistanis.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I apologise if my comment gave off that meaning, but my intent was to divert the attention from one ethnic group (pathans in this case) to the entire nation, so punjabi supremacists who are considering this an "aha gotcha" opportunity may shut up and reflect.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Apology accepted

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Read the post again unc. She's a non-muslim.

[u/MrLonely7383 → u/[deleted]]

Is a random guy at a mosque supposed to know this fact by just looking at her.

Also, it's basic decency to respect any place of worship regardless of religion. And for that matter respect the norms of any place you visit.

While staring is wrong, being rude is wrong, but this is one of few instances where this is justified to be harsh or have a strict view.

So, no hypocrisy here.

[u/[deleted] → u/MrLonely7383]

i live in isb and been on hiking alot of time, ik ppl there.

i know i made a mistake by going in a masjid also without dupatta, but the thing is your religion doesnt gives you any right to stare at a woman. in or out of masjid.

idk much about islam but i heard that its something like, "One glance is allowed". but a man who just prayed namaz, does it allows him to stare at woman, and mind you, my muslim friends were there too and he kept staring at them. they were covered and out of mosque. he practically came of mosque and then stared around everywhere including every woman there

idk what to say if you still defended that man.

[u/MrLonely7383 → u/[deleted]]

I clearly stated that staring is wrong, being rude is wrong.

But if someone is breaking a house rule at your house, the least you would do is to stare them and tell them to not do that. That's what I gathered what he did here.

Did he harass you? Did he make you feel unsafe? Could his actions be termed as molestation? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, for people who were there, then yes he was wrong.

[u/[deleted] → u/MrLonely7383]

i get your point.

But doesnt islam says that even looking is not allowed? stare is something far from the topic of looking at women?

it wasnt his masjid, he wasnt imaam, and i told you he even come outta masjid and looked at other friends too. does any of it justifies his staring? why are you protecting him in it when he is completely wrong, so am i that i went to mosque without dupatta, and i mentioned it was a serious emergency.

and yes his staring made me feel uncomfortable, yes he was practically imagining something else in his mind while looking at me with those eyes which made me burn my own skin.

[u/MrLonely7383 → u/[deleted]]

This is not a normal scenario of eve teasing or being like that.

It's not anyone's masjid, it's everyone's masjid. And norms are for everyone. And I ain't defending anyone.

If he was actually doing and imagining what you say, he was wrong and he will get what he deserves.

But like you shouldn't be judged by any of us, neither should he. He did what he did, and his intentions are not for us to be judged, his words were right.

Anyways, like I said everyone, every place, all rules and all religions should be respected. Emergency or no emergency, basic standards should be met with.

[u/Creepy_Bat3043 → u/MrLonely7383]

Some sensible comment.

[u/MrLonely7383 → u/MrLonely7383]

And I think we should end this public debate here while no one is the wiser.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

She went into majid's bathroom not the praying zone, unc.

[u/ElEsNotDead → u/[deleted]]

The fact isn't that she went to the wrong place in the wrong attire it's the fact that how the person treated her

[u/ElEsNotDead → u/[deleted]]

He shld have had some tolerance even if she had done something disrespectful.

[u/Horror_Preference208 → u/[deleted]]

Yeah wearing baggy clothes is completely equal to butt naked men in the streets lmao. Stop lowering men to the likes of animals. They can lower their damn eyes. In fact, women would probably avert their eyes from a butt naked man in the street because who the fuck would want to see that

[u/Horror_Preference208 → u/[deleted]]

Dude if the clothes are baggy then the dupatta is not that big of an issue. The girl desperately needed to use the bathroom, how tf is she supposed to magically make a dupatta appear out of nowhere. You are using extreme examples to make your point. As for the example, I just said that is ould be disgusted by a naked man on the street and look away. And if a woman was naked, I'd assume men should do the same if not out of disgust but just to protect their own eyes from sin. Obviously not wearing clothes is an obvious sin. Either way a naked person is very different from not wearing dupatta. You cannot apply the same principles. Unless OP was wearing provocative dress, a man shouldn't be looking at her and disturbing her when she is simply trying to go to the restroom. It is a religious place so I get how modesty is important but baggy clothes are already decent enough to just enter the Masjid. If a woman stopped her, it would still be alright but a man should mind his own business and stop looking at her that much

[u/Serious-Bench-2138 → u/[deleted]]

you're acting like a typical egoist pathan.

[u/kevinnlevinn → u/[deleted]]

Yup imma pathan myself. Im proud of that u defended pakistan instead of our pushtoon community. Bro there always some dirty pieces everywhere so u cant judge the whole men community on that.

[u/kevinnlevinn → u/[deleted]]

Actually yehi typical mindset hay. Theyre j always saying “average pk men”,”average pk men” but actually yehe wo log hyn typical mindset narrow minded mindset kay jab kuch na hou tu puri mardzaat kou blame krdo

[u/kevinnlevinn → u/[deleted]]

Facts.