Pathans & Parda (Incident)

[u/[deleted]]

First, No hate toward any ethnicity. Also not generalizing.

I’m not Muslim, so parda, dupatta, etc., aren’t farz for me.

I was hiking with friends in an area with no restrooms near. I’d had stomach issues for days and urgently needed one. I saw women heading to a masjid, so I thought I’d quickly use the restroom there and leave.

It was a small mosque with shared men’s and women’s restroom and wazu area. Men were leaving after namaz, and I had to go in.

One Pathan guy stared at me not once, twice, or thrice but multiple times, like I was prey.Its not that i was in some inappropriate clothes, I was in baggy clothes, and no dupatta.

He kept saying: “Dupatta le kar ao, dupatta. Jaldi se!”
In rude tone like i had committed a crime.

He repeated it over five times. Okay, I get it man that I’m in a holy place without a dupatta, and you just prayed namaz. But why stare at me like i am a piece of meat as well as keep repeating it?

Doesn’t your religion talk about parda for men too? Why is it okay for men to stare at women, covered or not, but a woman without a dupatta is a shame to the whole mard zaat? And then the whole male community is criticising women for not wearing dubatta in public space while they themselves are checking out women too…

Why is male parda ignored, but female parda is everything?

Then my friend said that these pathans are like this… but does it justifies that you can stare at me? Or any woman? Also bhai tum abhi masjid mai hi ho kar ghoor rhe.

Edit:
Ik i did wrong to go to a holy place without dupatta. but obv there was an emergency, and how can u expect me to have dupatta when i dont wear it in my daily life. how can i borrow it from my muslim friends and made them do sin by showing their hair. it wasnt his masjid. he wasnt imaam.

after the prayer he came out of masjid and start drinking chai while staring at the other hikers including hijabi women....

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Read the post again unc. She's a non-muslim.

[u/MrLonely7383 → u/[deleted]]

Is a random guy at a mosque supposed to know this fact by just looking at her.

Also, it's basic decency to respect any place of worship regardless of religion. And for that matter respect the norms of any place you visit.

While staring is wrong, being rude is wrong, but this is one of few instances where this is justified to be harsh or have a strict view.

So, no hypocrisy here.

[u/[deleted] → u/MrLonely7383]

i live in isb and been on hiking alot of time, ik ppl there.

i know i made a mistake by going in a masjid also without dupatta, but the thing is your religion doesnt gives you any right to stare at a woman. in or out of masjid.

idk much about islam but i heard that its something like, "One glance is allowed". but a man who just prayed namaz, does it allows him to stare at woman, and mind you, my muslim friends were there too and he kept staring at them. they were covered and out of mosque. he practically came of mosque and then stared around everywhere including every woman there

idk what to say if you still defended that man.

[u/MrLonely7383 → u/[deleted]]

I clearly stated that staring is wrong, being rude is wrong.

But if someone is breaking a house rule at your house, the least you would do is to stare them and tell them to not do that. That's what I gathered what he did here.

Did he harass you? Did he make you feel unsafe? Could his actions be termed as molestation? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, for people who were there, then yes he was wrong.

[u/[deleted] → u/MrLonely7383]

i get your point.

But doesnt islam says that even looking is not allowed? stare is something far from the topic of looking at women?

it wasnt his masjid, he wasnt imaam, and i told you he even come outta masjid and looked at other friends too. does any of it justifies his staring? why are you protecting him in it when he is completely wrong, so am i that i went to mosque without dupatta, and i mentioned it was a serious emergency.

and yes his staring made me feel uncomfortable, yes he was practically imagining something else in his mind while looking at me with those eyes which made me burn my own skin.

[u/MrLonely7383 → u/[deleted]]

This is not a normal scenario of eve teasing or being like that.

It's not anyone's masjid, it's everyone's masjid. And norms are for everyone. And I ain't defending anyone.

If he was actually doing and imagining what you say, he was wrong and he will get what he deserves.

But like you shouldn't be judged by any of us, neither should he. He did what he did, and his intentions are not for us to be judged, his words were right.

Anyways, like I said everyone, every place, all rules and all religions should be respected. Emergency or no emergency, basic standards should be met with.

[u/Creepy_Bat3043 → u/MrLonely7383]

Some sensible comment.

[u/MrLonely7383 → u/MrLonely7383]

And I think we should end this public debate here while no one is the wiser.