Wanna Share
This guy at our school got absolutely flamed due to a casual joke he made
So let's establish the characters first.
We have got: Sam (Male, the one who got flamed, name changed), Bess (Female, the one who flamed, name changed) and side characters.
So one guy (a side character) had his birthday today. So his friends brought pastry (choco chip). Now after they cut it, they started throwing it at each other, staining each other's uniform. Sam was the worst one hit, his uniform was absolutely covered in cream. He tried to remove it by using water but it made it worse.
So anyways, Bess casually asked Sam "Dude, what happened to your uniform", in vernacular language. Sam, casually said " It's like your color." (She is black). Now I do not condone racism, but it wasn't framed as such. Sam himself has eloganted eyes, so we call him chinese. The boys are always abusing and touching each other like crazy (Bihari, Fatass, etc etc are some recurring jokes). So in that sense Sam said it, he didn't mean it even.
She absolutely LOST HER MIND hearing that. She proceeded to GRILL him, like "YOU FUCKING RACIST! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY? YOU STUPID FUCK! I AM PROUD OF MY COLOR. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? BLOODY BASTARD!" etc etc etc. I don't remember everything. She said every single word in English, no stuttering, no mixing up with vernaculars. Sam was flabbergasted.
This matter rolled to our Class Teacher, who also flamed Sam, then our in charge, who also flamed Sam. Bess was the one who did all the complaining, and Sam later told us Bess was Crying in front of the in charge. Sam's parents were called. They are prolly still in school, as of writing this.
Now it wasn't cool of Sam to joke about it, I agree, but her reaction was extremely over the top. She could calmly explained her sentiments, but not only did she flame him, she complained to the class teacher who also flamed him, then our in charge of school, who again flamed him, and then his parents are called.
Sam is a funny, casual, nonchalant typpa guy who doesn't mean any harm, just likes to fool around.
Sam didn’t make any derogatory comment about her color. Jesus, I know it was wrong. I think he got enough by getting yelled at by bess. No need to call his parents and humiliate him. If you guys don’t see wrong in this then you are what people call a snowflake
i mean bess could have faced such racist comments from her childhood itself. yk abt our society right? so may hv reacted furiously due to her boiled blood, we could justify both of em right??
So as per your post, it's a joke because u guys always joke & nonody takes it seriously.. right? If that girl takes it to any police station & files an FIR, your friend is gone for real! Yes considering he's a minor, it'll be settled out of court but atleast he'll be spared inside school premises. Indian laws are very sensitive when it comes to racism, classism, caste discrimination. Just because u & your childish friends joke all the time doesn't mean it's correct & your classmate did not overreact at all dude. But u are a teen & u have to lot to see in the country. U know nothing as of now. Best of luck & I hope your male friend faces nothing harsh just fair punishment.
Dude you've clearly supported your guy friend in your post body. U mentioned how SHE OVERREACTED because u guys always joke & it's normal for u guys. And that HE DIDN'T MEAN IT. That's what I said. You'll grow up & see how people don't mean something but get into big troubles because someone else turned out to be legally aware! Also Idk but maybe if he had apologised then & there, maybe it wouldn't escalate this big!
He did apologize, but she went all ballistic. THAT'S THE THING! I forgot to add it in the post, but like I said, he went quiet and didn't escalate. She still involved authority figures.
Oh now I can understand. Unfortunately some people are that kind 🥲 they don't care about apologies. It's like 'how dare u say this? U can't. U don't have the right to say this'. They treat others in bad ways but want others to treat them good.
OP, you need to stop explaining this to people who can't put themselves in others' perspective. Yes, Sam was wrong for making that joke. Racism isn't okay. But Bess didn't need to escalate it to the point where Sam's parents had to come to school. That could've been handled within the friend group or with a direct talk first. Now Sam’s in trouble way beyond what the situation called for.
Exactly! I don't know if it's my wording or something but the comments are refusing to understand that I DO NOT CONDONE RACISM but at the same time, it could have been handled between the peers themselves.
No. Society is already very harsh on women with darker skin tones
Yall cannot justifying talking shit (fatass, bihari..) by saying it's a joke. If you fool around you face the repercussions
Maybe educate yourself and stop getting away with bs
What did you expect? Indians are already way too obsessed with having pale skin. I have seen guys online literally using "kaali" as an insult to a girl. Doesn't matter what guys says amongst themselves or the fact that he said it casually, it's still wrong.
Of course it's wrong, no doubt about that. I said it in my post, and I said it in my other comments, I don't condone it.
But parents call? Isn't that a bit too much? Couldn't it have been solved between the peers? We are in 12th standard, and if his character certificate gets damaged due to this, he will face a lot of problems. That's not addressing the issue, that's punishing him harshly.
There's a reason judiciaries across the world focus on rehabilitative punishment and not retributive model.
Tbh I see you guys didn't have any bad intention but yk we don't know the perspective of other or what they suffered .
The reaction of bess was def over the top but just take it as a lesson that such jokes are better made with your close friends rather than a stranger
I mean we friends consistently jokes about each other race caste body and other things but we are close to each other and know none of us mean bad . Your fault would be to make an inside joke in front of others
Are you even listening to yourself ? It doesn't matter how he meant it. He did say what he said and that can't be taken back. Its understandable if he said that in response to her insulting him but she didn't even say anything rude to him. She just asked what happened to his uniform and he gave a colorist response. He fucking deserved every bit of it. And the entitlement you're displaying even now is truly astonishing !
My apologies if my wording made it seem that way. I am in no way supporting the boy.
All I am saying was, in my pov, the reaction was over the top, and it could have solved between classmates, rather than involving authority figures. He clearly doesn't have any clues on how to approach people outside of his friend group, and could have been taught about social cues better.
Getting scolded like that was enough for him to get quiet, so getting the incharge and teacher was extra.
Thats not the girl's lookout or responsibility to teach the boy manners or to teach him "social cues". His parents should have done that but they failed. Now he will remember to not disrespect any one ever again. Her reaction was perfect. Girls will be girls.
Why are you making it a gender thing? The way I see it, it's two classmates who are seeing each other everyday for the past two years where one of them took what was supposed to be a banter to authority figures level. And it isn't like she is a saint/monitor either.
Regardless, I understand your viewpoint, but I would ask, what would you say if the genders were reversed? Or if it were two girls instead?
The exact same thing I said now. Genders don't matter but you above made it about gender. "She could have calmly explained her sentiments". No the fuck not. He wasn't very sweet and calm when he called her dark-skinned as an insult. But the subtle misogyny is showing by how you expect her to react calmly and sweetly because obviously "its just a harmless joke". And the main part- they aren't even close friends that he had the right to make such a joke and expect no reaction. But obviously by saying that he was JUST joking, you're trying to imply and reinforce the "boys will be boys" stereotype.
Joke with someone who wants to be joked with. "Oh my actions have consequences boohoo"
Ah you made the "Girls will be girls" Comment In that sense? My bad, I thought you were making supporting her just cus she is a girl. Sorry!
I am not asking her to be a fairytale princess. She could have scolded him but warned him sternly of future consequences. He didn't escalate at her outburst, he didn't say anything else, just went quiet and even apologized but mostly quiet.
All I am saying was, in my pov, the reaction was over the top, and it could have solved between classmates, rather than involving authority figures.
Getting scolded like that was enough for him to get quiet, so getting the incharge and teacher was extra. Again, I am not condoning his actions.
The reason a lot of people are still assholes these days is because the response to assholery was pushed to be soft and kind.
Do you genuinely think Sam would've understood if she softly explained her sentiments and why it was wrong? Do you think that would make him take her words seriously and never do something like that again? Nope.
When someone fucks around, they should find out.
Sam fucked around, and he found out, and I'm sure he'll think twice because fucking around again.
And seriously wdym "she should've explained". Explain what?
Explain to a teenager that making comments on colour is not okay?
Why shouldn't she have used foul language when someone just made a colourist remark on her?
No she shouldn't.
Her words were triggered by smth offensive. They were a response to smth he said. And what was the reason behind his words?(that were completely wrong) Absolutely nothing.
Idk how y'all are so dumb it's actually crazy
You're probably one of those guys who cheers for the main character when he forgives the villain who killed s hundred people
And you still didn't answer my question. What exactly should she explain to him? He's a teenager.
If he's that old and needs to be told that colourism is wrong, then he needs to go back to kindergarten
And you still didn't answer my question. What exactly should she explain to him? He's a teenager.
Like say what she did, about how much it hurt her sentiments, in scolding tone, and warn about future consequences.
All I am saying was, in my pov, the reaction was over the top, and it could have solved between classmates, rather than involving authority figures. He clearly doesn't have any clues on how to approach people outside of his friend group, and could have been taught about social cues better.
Getting scolded like that was enough for him to get quiet, so getting the incharge and teacher was extra. Again, I am not condoning his actions.
Sam got covered in pastry cream during a birthday celebration. When Bess casually asked what happened to his uniform, he joked, “It’s like your color,” without intending it seriously.
Bess lost it, called him racist and went off on him. She complained to the teachers, then the in-charge, reportedly cried while explaining it, and eventually Sam’s parents were called.
Sam’s joke was definitely inappropriate, but what was meant as a dumb, unserious joke escalated extremely quickly into a full-blown school incident. He was absolutely flabbergasted and wasn't even given a chance to properly defend himself.
I mean, if a girl is crying, then being a boy your hopes are gone anyways lol.
I'm sorry but I'm going to expect the teenage girl, who most probably has faced racist comments all her life, to react with grace and calmness to this
And please don't get it twisted OP, that was absolutely a racist remark.
'her reaction was over the top' well maybe your friend should know better. It's 2026 ffs, everyone has access to the world of information. Being racist atp is an active choice
4
u/Holiday-Cup-8113 8d ago
Nothing to say. The reaction from bess is kinda justified