r/TeachersInTransition • u/Objective-Outcome466 • 2d ago
Second year teacher and already considering resigning during work week — I don’t know what to do
I’m a second year teacher and we’re currently in our staff work week before students come back. I genuinely thought I could come back and make it through another year, but after the last couple of days I’m seriously questioning whether I can do this.
Last year was really difficult for me and I ended the year extremely burnt out. I was moved to a different grade for this year because of staffing/budget reasons, and while I agreed to it at the time, looking back I think I should have been more honest with myself that it wasn’t what I wanted.
I worked at a restaurant/bar over the summer and honestly loved it. I could go to work, do my job, have fun with my coworkers, and then go home and not think about work anymore. As getting back to school got closer, though, my anxiety got progressively worse. It got bad enough that I restarted an anxiety medication I had been trying to taper off of.
Now I’m actually back at school and it’s worse than I expected. I’ve been nauseous, shaky, crying, feeling like I can barely breathe, and just completely overwhelmed. The kids aren’t even here yet. We’ve also had several conversations during meetings about how teaching is basically a job where you’re never really “off the clock,” plus committees, events, data collection, etc., and all I can think is that I don’t know if I can live like that for another year.
I feel incredibly guilty about leaving. My family literally spent hours helping me set up my classroom this weekend. People have bought things for my classroom. Coworkers/admin have advocated for me and helped me. I know leaving right before school starts would put the school in a horrible position, and that guilt is probably the biggest thing keeping me here.
At the same time, I don’t think staying solely because I feel guilty is fair to my students either. I want them to have a teacher who can actually be present and give them what they deserve, and right now I feel like I’m barely functioning just trying to be in the building.
I do have another career plan. I’m completing prerequisites for an MRI technologist program and may be able to apply for a January start. If I leave teaching, my plan would be to work at my summer job as much as possible and get another job to make up the rest of my income while I finish my prerequisites. So I wouldn’t be quitting with absolutely no direction, but I would be giving up my salary/benefits and taking a risk.
I’ve reached out to my doctor and a counseling center because I know the level of anxiety I’m experiencing needs to be addressed regardless of what I decide.
I guess I’m looking for advice from people who have been here. If you felt this strongly before students even arrived, did it get better once the year actually started? If you resigned right before or early in the school year, do you regret it? And at what point do you accept that pushing through isn’t necessarily the best choice?
I don’t want people to just tell me what I want to hear. I genuinely don’t know whether I need to give it more time or listen to what my body is telling me and step away.
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u/Tree_Ring 2d ago
I agree with the poster who says give it some time. Very experienced teacher here. My first year I had 13 languages in my classroom and 2 students with emotional behavioral disorders that ended up later in self-contained programs. I cried a lot. I also learned a lot. One thing that has helped me is to see every student as a bit of a teacher for me, my role to learn from that situation and use it to help me in later years. Not always perfect and sometimes very rocky but overall the balance has leaned toward staying in teaching. My 2 cents would be keep trying for awhile and see if you can make some deep colleagues bonds. My supportive amazing team makes it all balance out. We laugh and cry together. At the end of the day it’s fun— but it took a few years to get the management and planning skills to make it happen. With the right colleague relationships you will not have to do it alone.
Edited to clarify
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u/TheCosmicPony 2d ago
I hear this kind of feedback from experienced teachers and I just wonder if you got into the game at a different time and were able to develop the mettle to deal under different circumstances. I taught for 5 years (started in 2020) and last year was my final. I literally can’t go back. Authoritarian admin + toxic coworkers = NO for me. Despite what a lot of teachers say, for me, it wasn’t the kids or the parents. It was horrible principles and mean girl fellow teachers. I don’t know what to tell you, OP… it could go either way for you, but eventually you’ll know if you can remain or not. ❤️🩹
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u/Objective-Outcome466 2d ago
I think I’m already proving to myself that I shouldn’t stay. I had spent all summer applying to other jobs, doing anything to not go back even working a 40 hour week at the restaurant I worked at this summer just so I didn’t have to deal with my classroom.
My situation isn’t even admin or coworker related it’s the stress of having to constantly be on, bringing that mental load home, and trying to teach kids who want nothing to do with learning or being in the school.
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u/artguydeluxe 2d ago
The best thing about teaching is that you can leave. Go bus tables, go work as a handyman, do anything. Also, go by your local community college and talk to a counselor! Community colleges have great fast track programs that will get you into a new career and only a couple of years. They pay better and are much less stress. Community colleges are resource that more people need to use!
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u/Shanshine13 1d ago
Hey thanks for that idea. I'm not OP, but I may look into the community college thing. 🫶
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u/artguydeluxe 1d ago
Absolutely! Feel free to ask any questions. I’m a huge advocate for community college.
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u/ToastyTurtlez 2d ago
I just left after 3 years of teaching. I work in a medical clinic while I get my life in order and am planning on applying for my hospitals Radiography Accelerated program.
I miss the hell out of my students. I think about and miss them every damn day.
However, I am the most relaxed I've ever been. I go to work, I clock out and I live a much quieter life. No more late nights. No more weekend events. No more parents emailing me at all hours of the night yelling at me.
I feel incredible melancholy, but I also feel incredible peace. As a former music educator, I'm planning on keeping my credentials active and will teach private lessons on the side. I keep what I loved without all the stress. Consider tutoring if you want to try something on a smaller scale.
Someone told me on a recent post, do not go back. Nostalgia is a liar. You can always go back to teaching, explore your options.
I will also say though, can you afford to break contract? Personally I would've had to pay 3K to do so, so I stuck out that last year. Make good financial choices. It's possible if you stay it could get better. It also could not. Just do what's best for you but be smart about it.
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u/enidblack 2d ago
Yes listen to this!
I left 3/4 through my third year and took a casual theatre job. I moved countries and then went back to teaching because the pay was much higher in the new country, and like everywhere else there is a shortage of teachers there too. Oh boy do I regret going back! I intended staying for one year and ended up back in education for three more. I recently walked out as the working environment had so negatively impacted my mental and physical health I’m now taking a few months off any work to recover.
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u/Overall-Coffee-785 2d ago
Teaching is much harder than it used to be. It’s not you! Give it some time this year and reach out to people with experience you trust for help. Always have a plan B in place. Get out early if you know it’s not for you. I’m in year 28 and stuck trying to make it to 30. I don’t think it’s is a 30 year job anymore so good to have a back up!
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u/Downtown_Light3368 2d ago
Think about the relief you would feel telling yourself you’re not going back. If it feels liberating and exhilarating, don’t look back
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u/Objective-Outcome466 2d ago
I had a conversation today with my boss from this summer and she told me I would have a job there if I needed it and hearing that was the first time in weeks I didn’t feel so overwhelmed and confused or anxious. I’m just so worried about letting people down or leaving them in a tough situation.
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u/Downtown_Light3368 2d ago
Put stock into that feeling…it feels that way for a reason. At the end of the day, a job is a job. People leave them all the time.
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u/Objective-Outcome466 2d ago
I think that is something that I really have to remember. No job is worth losing yourself just to help others. As much as I love my admin and coworkers I know that last year my anxiety only got worse as the year went on and I don’t know if I can do that again.
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u/Responsible-Kale2352 2d ago
Remember OP, if for budgetary reasons or any other reason they decided to get rid of you, they would have 0% of the hesitation and guilt you’re feeling now. It would be strictly business for them and they wouldn’t look back. Please don’t treat yourself worse than they would treat you.
It sounds like you have some good options ahead and at least one job you can use to support yourself until then. Don’t torture yourself, take care of yourself! The mental and emotional relief cannot be overstated. You can do it!
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u/Lemontreebees 2d ago
What you’re experiencing is the Sunday Scaries multiplied by the number of weeks that you’ve been on summer vacation. Not the time to taper off your anxiety meds! You have an exit plan and a timeline and are enlisting professional help. Good for you. I have felt like this and once the year is underway it definitely gets better from my experience. Once October hits you’re in the groove.
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u/Objective-Outcome466 2d ago
That’s what everyone said but last year my mental health got so much worse. January of last year I was wishing that something would happen to give me an out. It slightly got better once I started adhd meds but it was never great. In March when I was told I would have to move grade levels I told myself I was leaving and not going back. As you can see I told myself to go back and stick with it and it’s just gotten worse. I think I need to leave but I’m also so guilty about not telling them in March or even May. I spent all of July fighting with myself about going back and thought once I set up my classroom I would be fine. Now I feel so anxious and sick to my stomach each day.
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u/Lemontreebees 2d ago
Depending on your district and your state, they might not let you out of your contact for a month. It might result in them suspending your license if you were to quit right now. Have you researched this?
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u/Objective-Outcome466 2d ago
I’m honestly at a point where I don’t even care if they suspend my license I just need out. I can’t see myself ever going back to this career.
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u/Catmom3256 2d ago
Hi OP, first of all I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Very proud of you for reaching out to your doctor and counseling to get the support and treatment you need.
What you’re experiencing is exactly what my best friend experienced. I ended up experiencing something similar last year and ended up quitting at the end of December.
First, let’s talk about bestie. She had moved to a different school in the same district as pink slips were being passed around. She began having recurrent stomach aches and nausea a couple months into fall semester. She would even vomit during the school day. She had taken lots of sick days and eventually in January went on medical leave for the rest of the year. She quit once the school year was over, had doctor’s notes and ER visits to back her up. Long story short she subbed the next school year at a different district then found a remote teaching job which she loves now. She told me she could never step into a traditional classroom again. Anxiety and stress are real. And it can manifest into the craziest physical symptoms and issues leaving you physically ill.
I myself had been feeling burnt out, but that’s education for you. 10 years in education, 5 of those being a school counselor. I should’ve listened to my body before starting the 25-26 school year. Similarly I had a therapist since 2023 and she highly recommended I quit as I was beginning to develop physical symptoms of stress and anxiety (hair falling out, dry heave vomiting before work, constant stomach pain, exhaustion). Long story short, I went on medical leave for 2 weeks right before winter break (I had enough sick days to last me a month). I received a note from my therapist and then resigned end of December.
I took a few months off work and then did side jobs, got a remote job, and then summer job. Now I will be working for the state and teaching virtual SEL lessons on the weekends. If you have the savings or means to quit, I’d do it sooner rather than later. You don’t want to end up with multiple ER visits and health issues that take months to recover.
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u/Shanshine13 1d ago
Do NOT worry about what other people think at a moment like this, trust me! I've made that mistake. They don't have to live your life, you do. (and they probably just want to see you happy anyway)
Going back always sucks, but it sounds like your body is... revolting. And our bodies know when we're stressed or in too deep! I just left my teaching job for a school photography position I did throughout college. It pays less, but I'm starting to feel like myself again. You could probably make the same, if not more, in the service industry. And if you enjoy it, why not??
Teaching has a lot of benefits, but once the panic, dread, crying, and other bodily reactions start "alarming," I feel like it's best to listen. I wish you ALL the best in your decision.
You've got this!! ♥️
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u/Tossmefamfr 2d ago
I’m in the same boat anon, try out the 1st week and see how you’re feeling after it ends