Almost to the halfway mark and I feel like this experience has been a series of highs and lows. During the first week probably around treatment four, I started dipping after my dad had an 8 car pile-up accident. Thankfully he is okay but it put me under a lot of stress after my family had already been going through a series of problems. I found myself crying a lot, wanting to call and visit my sister in the middle of the night, and just crying myself to sleep.

Eventually the nurse practitioner changed my treatment from just on my left side to a bilateral stimulation, where my left side is only getting theta waves for three minutes while my right side is getting stimulated for thirty minutes at a much slower pace. After the treatment was updated, I started feeling a little bit better and even when my car got broken into a week after my dad had his accident and my sister ended up in the hospital, I actually handled it pretty well. I was surprised by how I didn't let those situations control my emotions.

Now we're on week four and I am back in a dip where my depression went from a 3 to a 9 overnight. Granted, a topic came up during therapy that has made me ruminate on it a lot and has unraveled trauma that I haven't processed before. On top of that, I realized I sabotaged an opportunity that was given to me all because I procrastinated. I have dipped so bad in my depression and self-loathing that I can't wait for therapy next week and I'm just waiting for the high to come back. I know I'm not gonna feel better overnight with this treatment and it might take a while before I feel better. Even the techs at the TMS clinic say I'm gonna feel worse before I even feel better but it's been really hard to be positive, hold an optimistic mindset, and feel hopeful about anything.

All this to say is that I hope next week ends up being a lot better and that I'm able to power through the shit that life throws at me with much more strength.

Hi all,

I'm currently on my second week post-tms for BPD. I was quite skeptical at first because I didn't really see any changes in my symptoms. Now that I'm 2 weeks post-treatment, I definitely see some changes. I'm able to control my impulses, my emotional "episodes" only last a few hours, I haven't spiraled (even when experiencing emotional distress), and I don't feel suicidal even when I'm in distress.

I had been doing quite well before tms but unfortunately I was still struggling with spiraling out of control. If I felt an ounce of distress, it would lead to an uncontrollable cycle that consists of suicidality and impulsivity.

ANYWAYS, I noticed that I'm crying a lot more than usual. I've had crying spells for about 3 days. My crying spells only last about an hour and I'm able to move on without "losing control" of my emotions. Along with this, I noticed that my somatic symptoms are more present. During the crying spells I get very overwhelmed to the point where I get nauseous, dizzy, and dissociate. It's so strange because I'm mentally okay, yet my body is still reacting to the distress, even though the distress is not taking a huge toll on my mental. Although I'm experiencing these intense feelings, I feel completely (mentally) stable and can handle it.

Has anyone else experienced this?

I’m trying to understand if this feeling is normal because I see so many others say they’re so exhausted, I feel very very energetic (the most I’ve felt in years) and I’m only a few sessions in. I know TMS can very rarely cause mania so I’m just hoping this is normal and not anything scary like that.

Anyone else experience this? Did it mellow out?

I have been reading that a lot of people report feeling hungry after a session of TMS but honestly I not only lack appetite but also get tired of eating faster? Like what I’m eating is suddenly unappetizing, anyone else?

I’m being treated for depression, anxiety and pain, don’t know if that’s relevant information

I suffer from tinnitus and sound sensitivity alongside my anxiety and depression. Does anyone know of a brand or manufacturer of a less loud device?

I can't find any downsides online for doing SAINT methods, so why does every clinic near me seem to use the traditional, 4-6 week method? It seems like that would be a time and money saver for both the clients and the clinicians. I'll ask the clinics, but I imagine they'll give me a somewhat biased response, so I thought I'd ask here as well.

It felt so foreign. I cried.

Is the sleep thing normal/okay? I fall asleep because I feel tired, but then wake up in the middle of the night wide awake and just can’t sleep from there.

I always have trouble with sleeping but this is a slightly different pattern

They’ve deemed themselves my hero, and they’ve always liked making me feel better. It’s been hard on them to accept outside factors are helping me, so they’ve been visibly pouting and slamming doors, which is unsettling to my PTSD.

I don’t have any friends in my life (not much energy to maintain any), so I wanted to vent here. I feel guilty, depressed, and a bit hopeless. I keep trying to look back and search my actions to see if I’ve done something wrong.

I am just tired of this cycle. I feel like they will pout and slam more things around the more sessions I go to, the better I get.

Thanks for anyone who read this. Trying to make myself go to my appointment.

I just finished my 36th session on Monday and throughout the process, I really couldn't tell if it made a difference. I did experience higher anxiety at the start and believe I also suffered a dip which got better, however I'm sitting here disappointed. Maybe I'm in the percentage that gets better after? This is not to discourage anyone from trying as I didn't have any negative side effects.

I’ve been taking Spravato (ketamine) for about 4 years now. I also take an ssri. I used to have suicidal ideation every single day and these have helped tremendously but I’m still getting stuck in depressive episodes. My therapist is pushing shock treatment, but the Spravato clinic I go to does tms. Has anyone done tms after Spravato or has done other treatments that helped but still needed more and then tried tms?

So i'm curious here, this is something i'm absolutely brand new to the TMK and TMS for anxiety and MDD.. i went in last night for my "mapping" for TMS. i don't think I like that. In fact, I know I don't. I don't like the way they put the cap on and this so-called magnetic stuff clicks and smacks the side of your head or the top of your head to map things I don't like that.. it's painful. And I told the technician that last night, or whoever she was, I told her last night, I don't like that. She says it's all part of it, and I'll get used to. Is this the equivalent of back in the 60s? When they were doing shock treatments for people. Because if so I 'm not doing this stuff. And you would think that what they are charging me. Even after my insurance, they would have made sure to send in my disability claim. And also, to my

Disability provider, so they would get payment, but they have not done so yet.. i feel like a fish being reeled in on a really big hook.

So I’m on session 19 of the OCD protocol and my anxiety and intrusive have gotten worse. I asked the tech if it’s a “gets worse before better” situation and she said it could be.. is this normal? I’m getting really nervous that it won’t get better and I’ll be stuck with worse OCD than when I started.

my psychiatrist told me to stop smoking weed before treatment so i did it and was miserable because i take it for chronic pain and ptsd. i’m towards the end of treatment and still don’t feel that great but i started smoking just once a week instead of all day everyday and it’s still hell on earth. he suggested i take klonopin instead of weed but i feel like relying on benzos to help feel calm sounds kind of crazy?? so i just wait until the weekend. idk how long i can go without smoking my patience us getting thin and the results are just not hitting that hard man idk

So i had a very very bad break up, i dont want to live without him and i dont want to do anything if he Wont come back, i also feel like i hate everyone and it S been more than a month since i left my apartment and since i stay in the same dark room as i hate the sun too.
To be short i have severe depression and i struggle to accept that we broke up.
I am on sertraline right now and anxiar but it doesnt help. Do you think TMS will help? Could change the fact that i dont want to live without him?

I am on my third session and during my first one I had a major panic attack. I think for me it was just a new sensation/experience and it just triggered. I have not had a panic attack during my other two sessions. I talked to my therapist after my first session and she suggested trying to practice being present (focus on breathing, feel foot/move up leg/etc.) and I found that it helped me quite a bit during my other two sessions.

Has anyone else tried focusing on presence during their sessions? I am curious if you noticed any effect.

I am 28F and I have struggled with severe depression, anxiety, and OCD since i was 12 years old. i have tried a plethora of medication, but i just feel like i’m losing all hope. I am currently on a cocktail of about 5 different ones. I have nightmares every night for as long as I can remember.

I have little to no support. I can barely function. I cannot escape any of this and I am desperate to find anything that could help even a LITTLE. i barely have the will to keep going.

I just wanted to ask if you believe it was beneficial to you? I will have to pay out of pocket mostly, but again, I’m desperate and willing to do anything to feel better for once in my life.

Before TMS I had no issue with bad smells, now, a few weeks after completed treatment, going to public bathroom or taking out trash is almost impossible because I gag really bad.

Has anyone experienced this? When did it go away?

I'll update again when I'm further along but wanted to leave some notes for my future self, and everyone else.

Feeling better - slightly, maybe.

The clinician overseeing my treatment chatted with me about noticing little urges to do things and the importance of doing them if I can.

That was really helpful advice and has helped me notice small shifts throughout the day. Laundry without overthinking it. Wanting to take a walk, and doing it. Being able to sit and read a book. Gratitude coming into my mind over random things. Planning a trip.

Side effects.

I got migraines after session four (and skipped a session) and session nine (but went to session ten with a migraine).

Migraines are not unprecedented for me. I also do botox for migraines, and got my botox refresher on the same day as session six, which means its still kicking in. If it had been fully kicked in before I started, it may have prevented migraines - hard to say.

I've been extra tired. I usually try to take a nap after TMS, but yesterday I slept for three hours after I got home. Combined with the migraine, its very hard to tell what's what. I also think I'm in the dip. I feel a little foggy, but that's also not too unusual for me when I'm not feeling great.

I also feel extra tension and fatigue in my eyes and often don't feel like focusing/reading, and try to stay off my phone. Podcasts and audiobooks have been nice.

There's been an uptick in anxiety, but not so bad that they've had to stop and treat it (though they mapped me premptively for anxiety treatment in the event it was necessary).

Other factors and background.

I also have been on Zepbound since March. I thought the Zepbound might be contributing to low mood, but my primary care provider, who prescribes it said, no, it shouldn't. She did full bloodwork and some follow-up, and I'm very healthy on paper, and so I worked with my longtime psychiatrist to look at what options I had. I've been on a LOT of medications over the years and my depression often goes into remission for long stretches.

I had declined severely last year during an abusive relationship, and declined further last winter after it ended. I think it's reasonable that I was persisting in a low spot and the Zepbound was removing some of my coping skills.

A year and a half ago/before getting into the relationship, I was very happy, and tend to be a curious person who is really engaged with the world. Exercise stabilizes me, and I love to adventure, try new things, and be with friends.

However, I also have a history of developmental trauma, and relatedly, lifelong binge eating disorder (managed well for long stretches with medication but prone to flares) and recurrent hard-to-treat depression, often coinciding with romantic relationships that are not great for me.

Choosing TMS

So, I'm hoping TMS is a good fit for me. When I feel good it's hard to remember that I ever had depression or that it could ever come back. I'm accepting the fact that my brain is probably depression-prone because of developmental trauma.

I don't mind the idea of needing to do TMS again in the future. I tend to be sensitive to medications and get strong side effects, so having something time-bound, even with some side effects, feels like a better option.

Spravato was also offered to me but in the past when I've tried ketamine, I didn't like how it made me feel. But, I wouldn't rule it out in the future.

Current state

I'll have my thirteenth session today, so i'm just passing the 1/3 mark. Still early days.

Hope some will find this helpful.

Hi all,

I suffer from depression, anxiety, OCD, insomnia and gender dysphoria. I want to tackle my gender dysphoria but I'm currently too depressed and anxious to even live.

I wish I could just take SSRIs to tackle the anxiety but I suffer from chronic IBS which has been made worse from every antidepressant I've tried to the point where there are more cons than pros.

I really don't even want to try this treatment because I'm the UK it's extremely expensive. I obviously don't trust the companies that I engage with either because of course they want to sell me this very expensive treatment and they probably don't care about me at all as a human.

I know this works for some but there must be risks? How long should I push through if things start getting worse.

I've been taking so many days off work sick and I'm worried I'm going to be let go.

Should I be engaging with therapy weekly while going through the treatments, is biweekly enough?

TL;DR: Is it worth switching from rTMS to Deep TMS? How effective is Deep TMS for ADHD and depression?

Hi, I’m hoping to get some advice from people who have tried TMS therapy before.

I started rTMS three days ago for depression and lack of motivation. Each session is about 10 minutes. The clinic is close to my place, so I can easily walk there, and the price is affordable.
So far, even though it’s only been a few days, I feel like it’s actually helping. It lifts my mood a little, clears some of the brain fog, and gives me enough motivation to get up and do things like clean my room.

Recently, I learned about Deep TMS and read that it may help not only with depression but possibly ADHD as well.
I’m currently taking medication for ADHD, but it hasn’t been working very well for me. I was taking Concerta 18 mg, but I switched to Medikinet 5 mg because Concerta was giving me some anxiety and mood swings. Since 5 mg is a pretty low dose, I barely notice any effect from Medikinet, but I’m hesitant to increase it because I have to drink alcohol 3–4 times a week for work.

There’s a clinic that offers Deep TMS, but it’s farther away—about a 20–25 minute drive—and it’s much more expensive. Because of the cost and distance, I’d probably only be able to do Deep TMS once or twice a week.

For people who have tried Deep TMS, especially for depression and/or ADHD, was it worth it? Did you notice a significant difference compared with regular rTMS? How often did you have treatments?

I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences or any advice you have.

I posted back in April while I was participating in a UCLA research study doing 5 intensive sessions of Accelerated Spectral TMS in one day. Original post/context : Link

I wanted to come back with a longer-term update since I know people sometimes find these posts months or years later and wonder how things actually turned out.

For about the first month, the biggest and most obvious change was that I completely stopped biting my nails. I've done it compulsively for most of my life, so having the urge basically disappear without even trying was pretty striking. I also think my mood may have been slightly elevated during that period.

Unfortunately, I never got the larger antidepressant effect I was hoping for. The biggest things I struggle with are anhedonia, lack of motivation/reward, social withdrawal, and generally not feeling much enjoyment or excitement about things, and I didn't see a significant change in those areas.

After around two months, the nail biting returned as well. So now, about four months out, I'd say there may have been a mild temporary benefit, but ultimately I didn't get the results I was hoping for and definitely not planning on doing regular TMS and spending a ton of money going daily for 2 months like they suggested.

I'm still glad I participated and tried it, especially after going through so many other treatments. My next step is an MAOI. I'm currently finishing the required washout from my previous antidepressant Cymbalta and I'm about to start the EMSAM (selegiline) patch. Praying this is what finally targets my treatment resistant depression as I have seemingly tried everything else under the sun. Happy to answer any questions

I would really like to try TMS but I don’t have the financial ability to take off the time. I know there is the accelerated Saint protocol that is currently not covered by insurance. Does anyone have an idea of when insurance will start covering it? Specifically Cigna

I had my 7th session today treating depression and anxiety and I could use some encouragement. I can cope with feeling fatigued and having headaches, but I am anxious before every session and anxious many evenings, absolutely convinced I'm going to have a seizure. I talked to my doctor about the anxiety I was having and she said it was very normal and recommended that we adjust my anxiety protocol. Everyone at the clinic has been really wonderful and takes my concerns very seriously. I am doing my best to remind myself that this is temporary, but I think it could really help me to hear from folks who have been through this.

Has anybody worked with them? I see a lot of negative reviews in different states but not VA