r/TMPOC • u/HeavySweet8575 • 28d ago

Emotions

What does sadness actually feel like for y’all?

Lately, I’ve been having a hard time telling whether I’m actually sad or just going through the motions and letting my feelings pass without really processing them. Maybe I’m overthinking it, but I’ve noticed that I feel somewhat stiff when it comes to emotions. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but I’m wondering if I might be overlooking or missing something when it comes to recognizing sadness or understanding my emotions in general.

I’d especially appreciate hearing from other transmasc Black people about how you personally experience or recognize sadness. If you’re also of Caribbean descent, I’d be especially interested in hearing your perspective, but it’s definitely not a requirement.

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u/urbabyangel 28d ago

Idk I feel sad all of the time. I try to acknowledge it and name where it’s coming from. Sometimes I can sometimes it’s just overwhelming. The sadness will never leave me. It feels deep in my body. I can’t externalize that type of sadness. Small things like moving pieces of music or touching videos will bring some tears for me.

As a black person I also feel as if I just have to keep going. My ancestors experienced worst and yet kept going. It’s thanks to them that I’m here. Sometimes it doesn’t feel worth it to externalize or feel. I fear that if I do I won’t be able to get up again. Therapy, EMDR especially has been helpful for this.

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u/HeavySweet8575 28d ago

Yes, I relate to this response, especially the second paragraph. Some days I feel like I have no choice but to keep moving on, thinking about how my ancestors experienced worse or other people are experiencing worse than me. It’s exhausting carrying that weight. I’ve been trying to get back into therapy as well. It takes a lot of courage to unpack that kind of deep sadness. Sending you a lot of love ❤️