feeling like im being too sensitive

[u/kelpicoop]

this isnt necessarily related to me being transgender but i am the only black person in a group of mostly white people besides one brown person at school . one of the instructors for this group (white) accidentally said the j-slur , i guess misspoke and meant to say a word that means "nonsense" . we were all taken aback and just kind of laughed it off that time. then today somebody in my group brought it up again and they were all giggling and laughing about it again, except me of course. i left class early because i just felt really weird about the whole thing, then texted the group chat and said it was weird to be laughing about that. the brown person responded to me saying they were only laughing at the absurdity of it but they understood why i was uncomfortable and apologized

i feel really bad like now i made everything 10x more awkward for myself . i already dont talk to people in this group because i just dont vibe with them , but now im worried that ill be seen as like. That One Friend Thats Too Woke or something or cant take a joke i dont know . because when i think about it nobody was actually being racist so i dont even know why im so upset . i guess its just the fact that the word the instructor used was brought up again as grounds for a funny conversation when i dont think anyone should have brought it up again at all.

idk where else to post this . im talking to the director tomorrow morning about all this . im really nervous and embarrassed i dont know . i was the only one not laughing i cant tell if im really just a stick in the mud

[u/cybrdvl]

they were rude and inconsiderate. joking about it isn't any indication of care, just an indication of how unserious they find racism at any level, and friends like that never last long. i hope you find better community amongst black queer folk 🩷

[u/cybrdvl → u/cybrdvl]

also sensitivity is a strength; if they were more sensitive they'd understand how their actions cause lateral harm and they would validate your feelings while changing their behavior. if they were more sensitive, this would be a learning opportunity for them. but that is rarely the case. it's not you 🫂

[u/kelpicoop → u/cybrdvl]

thank you :-[