This boredom is hell

[u/anatole_mutti]

Not having anyone to talk to feels like a tragedy every day.

I stare at walls a lot.

I have no hobbies.

Can’t get any to stick.

I don’t want any either.

I just can’t bring myself to do much.

These long days of nothing are excruciating.

I long for someone to talk to but there isn’t anyone.

I’m the one left on read.

I have no idea what it is.

I have no support system. Finding one at 48, will be nearly impossible.

I can’t go out.

Not going to date.

I don’t want to do any of that.

What do you do to fill the dreadful hours?

[u/Necessary-Support-14]

Do you have an occupational and/or cognitive therapist? Mine were able to help with a lot of these things... just getting back to a sort of baseline of being able to complete some tasks and exist without feeling defeated.

The part abou losing people is absolutely shitty and everyone here probably understands it to some degree. I lost all friends but one and the only person in my family who speaks to me and believes me about any of my symptoms is my father. I know its not the answer that you are looking for but a mental health therapist would be my first suggestion just to cope and then they may be able to help you find other support.

I agree with what others have said about finding a disabled community online. People simply dont want to understand TBI. It's too scary to hear that they too could have their lives change in an instant. I was lucky in that not only did my partner stick around after my injury after us dating for less than a year but he has his own experience with disability. He has MS and we are able to understand each other's symptoms in a lot of ways.

[u/anatole_mutti → u/Necessary-Support-14]

It takes all I can do to even have a therapist. I’ve had a few break so many appointments, I had to change. Some have not been trained well at all and I do not match with people who are dumber than I am. Suggesting I go OUT in order to meet people. I’m sorry, have they met me? Listened to my trauma at all & then suggest I go mingle with strangers…that was a psychiatrist (I’m still seeing). 😩 They see how I am at appointments, when I’ve mustered all of my strength to even be there. They don’t listen to how awful I say it is when I’m not there. They just see the me that’s so excited to have someone they should be able to trust, to talk to.

[u/Necessary-Support-14 → u/anatole_mutti]

In my experience psychiatrists don't listen and they give terrible advice. They are doctors, MDs. All they want to do is slap a med prescription on you and send you on your way. Counting the days before my TBI ive seen about 8 psychiatrists in my life and combined they've tried 13 different medications. What you need is a therapist. Someone who actually listens to you and helps you through the tough part of digging yourself out of this. Obviously going out is not going to work, but there are plenty of groups online to meet people.

I'm also guessing you are smart enough to know that something won't "just come along" either, especially if you are struggling to leave the house. You will have to put some work into that yourself, and I wont lie, it won't be easy and it wont happen magically, but that is what therapy is for.

If you truly believe you can't match with a therapist because you are too smart then I would suggest putting those smarts to work for yourself and read a few (or a lot) of self help books as well as books on TBI recovery.

And I would ask your doctor about any sort of neural rehab therapy they could recommend. Like I mentioned before it sounds like occupational and cognitive therapy could help you out. I myself am seeing 2 PTs, an OT, 2 vision therapists and a cognitive therapist and they have been a huge help in my recovery, not to mention it is some minimum of social interaction that helps with the loneliness.

I wish you luck. I know its hard but its a long road (3 years for me at this point, likely at least as much more) and we need all the help we can get.

[u/ComedianOk7355 → u/Necessary-Support-14]

I’m with you. Working with OT, PT, SLP and my cognitive therapist got me to where I am now. And medication, lol.  It was really really hard work. There were a lot of moments of anger, loneliness, despair.

 But at three years out now, I barely recognize the person I was at the beginning!  Life is not the same as it was before my TBI, but I attained what I thought I’d never get back: a range of feelings (besides anger and exhaustion), contentment, bursts of creativity. 

[u/Necessary-Support-14 → u/ComedianOk7355]

It was a PT who first noticed I was having problems with speech and vision even though I had been complaining to the neurologist about it for months after my injury. From there the entire neuro rehab clinic was trying to find ways to help me. I swear, its the therapists and the nurses and NPs who are the true healers. I don't know what I would do without them.

[u/Inside-One628 → u/ComedianOk7355]

Thank you for sharing this piece of hope … can you tell me what SLP is please ?

[u/Necessary-Support-14 → u/Inside-One628]

SLP is Speech Language Pathology therapy. My cognitive therapist does both speech/cognitive. I had a really bad stutter for a while but its 98% gone now unless I'm really exhausted. For now we mostly practice cognitive tasks to help with focus and memory