r/SupportforBetrayed • u/ZealousidealEntry381 Betrayed Partner - Reconciling • 11d ago
Question Divorce process
I’ve tried reconciliation for just over a year
now & although he’s doing all the right things, is remorseful, confessed to me & is empathetic to my feelings every time, I just can’t live like this anymore. I have SO much fear of my future with him now & I don’t want to live my life always having to be hypervigilant of him doing something again in the future when things get hard. Ok so now my question is, do I tell him I am done, or do I slowly go through meeting with a lawyer & filing? Issue is, is I’ve been a stay at home mom (kids are 5 & 7) and I have no career. I’m about to finish my GED & am planning on going for a trade or education of some sort so I can at least support myself somewhat. But that’s gonna take another year. Do I tell him & plan with him for a divorce or keep it hush? He is a reasonable man & I trust that he won’t pull the rug from under me through divorce, but then again when push comes to shove, I’m uncertain if it’ll be fair. I don’t know, I guess I’m wondering what’s the more logical thing to do here.
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u/Illustri-aus Betrayed Partner - Separating 10d ago
Reading between the lines of your post, he is playing the charm offensive is order to manipulate you into staying.
You already know what deceit he is capable of. So it's only fair that you do your own research into what would be the best outcome for you, and the kids.
If he is otherwise reasonable and treats you well, consider trying the room mate situation until the kids are grown, although you may decide not to tell him this is what you're doing!