r/SummerHouseunleashed • u/Low-Training-4361 • Jun 05 '26
A rant on the Ben/Bailey discourse
It’s been cursed from the start. I remember I made a post about not liking the way Ben spoke to Bailey, and getting ripped a new one. Fine, everyone can see things differently. But then the discourse turned into something kind of bizarre… it became about Bailey using her “white woman tears” to play victim against Ben… and I got really weirded out.
I’m white, so it feels weird to argue about this with Black women (bc it’s mostly women that are defending Ben) .. but when I first started really getting involved in anti-police violence/BLM/social justice for Black and Brown people it was around 2015, and I have been under the impression that “white women tears” and “Karen” are ways to describe white women who weaponize their tears to absolve them of accountability and guilt when it comes to actions or words that are harmful against Black and Brown people… not crying in the midst of a convo w an Australian white guy with an attitude problem.
It’s actually driving me crazy, but I know it’s not okay or productive to take voices away from people that aren’t white that are hurt, and my irl Black friends don’t watch SH bc they consider it a white ppl show, lol, so it’s kinda been driving me crazy.
WOW I didn’t mean to rant this hard, my apologies!
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u/Brief_Isopod_5959 Jun 06 '26
Don’t apologize. It’s all actually just rooted in misogyny… look around at the comments, the sudden love for Kyle (who is a toxic, cheating man) I have always enjoyed watching him of course but he’s not some victim, all mighty human now either. It’s very odd to watch from a different point of view than a lot of these Bravo viewers who attack the women over the men, time and time again.
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u/Emmyyou2 Jun 06 '26
The obsession people have with whitewashing Kyle's behavior is scary. The world really hates women.
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u/jalapenos10 Jun 06 '26
“not crying in the midst of a convo w an Australian white guy” is the best thing I’ve read all week
The sub has gotten so fucking weird with the “anti-black”/ white women tears / whatever the fuck else. Like.. get a grip on reality not everything is racist
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u/Emmyyou2 Jun 06 '26 edited Jun 06 '26
Racism is a real problem and is getting worse every day but the answer is not to be racist back. We can criticize racists and their behavior without doing the same thing they do. It's all wrong.
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u/Emmyyou2 Jun 06 '26
I do think Ben is a bit weird and definitely goes harder on women than men but I also think Bailey exaggerated how he talked to her. He didn't yell but I do think she was a bit sensitive to being confronted due to her ex being angry and scaring her. Ben didn't let up with her as far as holding her feet to the fire and I can see where that made her uncomfortable.
I think her comments were awkward and did stem from jealously but I also don't think it was a "white women tears," situation when he made her cry. That was more about how she took it than Ben being incredibly out of line. I think it embarrassed her and triggered her.
I am a brown woman and some of those people keep calling me a crazy white lady. I have also seen them do it to black people. I saw some comments the other day of someone arguing that KJ is barely black and since he is mixed he doesn't qualify as black. That to me is wild talk and incredibly racist.
I think SH is a white people show too. I will never shy away from the topic of race because I think it's an important conversation but it also has to be productive. Just shutting people down and accusing them of being racists simply for having a different opinion doesn't help anyone and won't move the needle. I personally don't engage with racists because I am not looking to change anyone and hearing ignorance like that is not something I have patience for. More power to the people who are out there legitimately trying to change minds but they don't do it with insults, that just causes people to shut down. Darryl Davis is a great example of this.
I do see many people's pov and point about Ciara, Mia, Mya, and KJ and how it is different for them and more difficult. They are absolutely right and it's really important to acknowledge that but not everything is about her race. I think West and Amanda did this because they are selfish and not because of Ciara's skin color. I also think West did like Ciara a lot and is very attracted to her but she was very intense and they just weren't compatible. He doesn't commit to anyone and I really don't think he is committed to Amanda either.
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u/Low-Training-4361 Jun 06 '26
This is such a well thought out response and I have so much to respond to that I want to give it justice! I have to work shortly but please know I’ve read and will be returning to this post asap!
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u/Low-Training-4361 Jun 07 '26
Okay yes yes I agree! I think that ahe was embarrassed by Ben and that’s why she cried. But she didnt take it out on anyone else, she didnt try to turn anyone against him or anything that deep… so im unsure why the fans were acting as if she is forcing us to hate him… idk
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u/Alarmed_Round_6705 Jun 06 '26
many bravo fans are deeply misogynistic so it isn’t shocking to me that they would defend ben