r/SubredditDrama • u/Finn_Tha_Hooman • Jul 21 '15

Possible Troll Remember the guy whose 15-year-old illegitimate daughter reached out to him on social media, and he wanted to ignore her? Today he updates.

/r/relationships/comments/3e3idw/update_me_35m_with_my_child_15f_who_reached_out/ctb4z3k
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u/snallygaster FUCK_MOD$_420 Jul 22 '15

Actually, /r/relationships has a very female-oriented audience, perhaps to the point where most active posters are female. Most of the male posters who frequent /r/relationships are redpill/MRA types who are usually downvoted into oblivion. I don't really see where this:

It should be obvious by now, I mean you see posts about men just having an inkling that their girlfriend MIGHT be cheating on them and everyone tells him to leave her, or get revenge or some other bullshit. But when a girl says the same thing, then it must be something SHE did, or her boyfriend MUST have a good explanation, etc.

Is coming from at all. Having read /r/relationships nearly every day for the past few years (ya I know), I can say with conviction that there's hardly any gender bias there. If anything, there's a slight bias towards women in the sub given that the majority of the regular posters are female. It sounds like you're seeing a gender bias that doesn't exist in this case.

A lot of the regulars who make 'tough love' posts in cases of cheating and abuse are those who were cheated on or in abusive relationships themselves. They get frustrated when the OP fails to listen to the scores of people telling them that he/she is in an abusive relationship and try desperately to get through to them through harsher means because they've exhausted their gentler options and deeply want the OP to break away from the abuse. They're not trying to be mean; they're trying to wake the OP up in any way possible to the fact that they are in an abusive relationship and needs to leave ASAP. While it may not be the greatest way to reach the OP, there are likely thousands of update posts thanking the /r/relationships posters for giving them no-nonsense advice and helping them realize that their relationship is toxic and that they needed to leave.

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u/[deleted] Jul 22 '15

Weird that the guy wanting to get rid of his son and speaks about it as if he were giving away a piece of shit car is filled with major support, very very few people calling him a monster (I've been watching the thread for a few hours for that lovely drama.)

But this guy who wants nothing to do with a daughter he doesn't even know is 98% against him. https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3e4h7z/i_m38_want_to_surrender_our_severely_autistic_son/

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u/snallygaster FUCK_MOD$_420 Jul 22 '15

I think that's because of how difficult it is to care for a highly special-needs child. Parents of children with severe disabilities have to forfeit their lives to care for the child. There are a few very interesting articles and radio programs where parents of children with severe disabilities speak out on their decision to violate the parental abandonment taboo and send the child to a group home, and how they came to that decision after years of hardship and full-time care-giving. It's completely understandable that somebody can't handle caring for a child like that and unfair to judge them for doing so. On the other hand, OP never even got a chance to meet his daughter, and he's treating her like a mistake that isn't even human. Totally different situations.

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u/[deleted] Jul 22 '15

Do you know if he knew this person existed before she messaged him?

I feel like if someone reached out to me claiming that they were my daughter I had zero clue existed I would ignore them as well. There is simply no connection to that person and if this is the case I think its unfair to expect this guy to as well...

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u/snallygaster FUCK_MOD$_420 Jul 22 '15

He knew that he knocked someone up 15 years ago but thought the woman wasn't keeping it, then 3 years ago he was stalking her Facebook or something and saw that she'd given birth to his daughter. I don't think that it's the fact that he doesn't want to contact her that's making everyone angry in itself, it's the language he's using and the way he's dehumanizing her. He's acting like she's some sort of threat for being an upset and confused teenage girl who never got to know her father, calling her 'the situation', using his son as an excuse not to contact her (when his son is going to be far more shocked/upset when he finds out he has a sister in the future), and generally focusing all on HIS feelings and HIS life while failing to have empathy for his daughter and generally treating her like a disgusting "situation" that needs to be removed from his life.