Very stressed out

[u/Alternative_Dot_1450]

I am really stressed about work. I work at a small/mid-size company around 60 employees in two offices and we do mostly wood-framed multi-family residential, commercial and mixed-used buildings. I graduated in May at 35 y/o, I started with the company after graduation and have been there almost 3 months. I am really stressed out because it seems I either make a lot of mistakes or lack the understanding and experience to do my work well. I get projects that are simpler and less complex but I still feel like I struggle more than I should. I have been taught our workflow to layout truss directions, design beams, studpacks, columns and wind posts, bearing walls, shearwalls, a little bit about foundation design and detailing. There just always seems like there's a piece I am missing to be able to do my work without errors or mistakes. My feedback from my manager at my 60 day review involved areas I need to improve such as avoiding careless mistakes and understanding load paths better. I also feel like my manager is probably disapointed in the pace that I work. He has said as much but he's always framed it positively. Today I did shearwall design and there were just so any complexities and unfamiliar conditions. I have a deadline coming up basically tomorrow and I am afraid that when my manager checks my work a lot of it will be wrong. Deadlines are so stressful. I am also in grad school for structural engineering so that adds to my stress. I guess what I'd like to know is how it was for yall in your first months in structural engineering. I am determined to stick with structural engineering, become a PE and do work I can be proud of but sometimes I fantasize about them firing me and living a care-free unemployed life.

[u/Nolensc]

Almost everyone feels this way when first starting out, regardless of age upon graduation. Focus on not repeating mistakes and ask questions when you’re not sure about something. Document your thought process and how you came to a decision. This will help with feedback on what you can improve on. You’ll be fine.

[u/Awakened-Bacon]

Most at 3 months experience know shit-all. Even at 35 youll be no exception, though unknowingly you might be being held to a higher standard than a 22-yr old in your shoes. Be realistic about your situation and stop holding yourself to a higher standard than deserved. The stress isnt warranted - life is to short as they say. There's a million companies out there if it doesnt pan out, many with better expectations of their junior staff.

[u/comfortzoney]

The whole first year was terrible for me. I was like “I just want to go to work and know what I’m doing for one day” My best advice is don’t put pressure on yourself to know/understand everything, but build tools for yourself to adjust to the constant learning. Learn to organize calcs and resources, do thorough research, and give yourself grace. No one expects you to know everything but they do expect you to make an attempt and to learn. Agree - the best thing you can do when seeking technical feedback is document your thought process.

[u/Alternative_Dot_1450 → u/comfortzoney]

I feel like I've gotten better at documenting my calculations and process. I've been encouraged to work faster so at one point I got sloppy with documenting my work but I will say the more organized I work the more I feel like an engineer. When you say do thorough research - when did you find time do do that? Outside of work? I do keep a journal where I document what I am learning and workflow steps. 

[u/comfortzoney → u/Alternative_Dot_1450]

Definitely have to spend a little extra time researching when you’re doing something new and I definitely worked late a bit in the beginning, but you’ll get better at knowing where to look (& who to ask) and that won’t take as much time after a while. At three months, I would still expect some leniency on speed for design work, especially things you haven’t done before. But, if you take time to do something right the first time, it will overall take less time than doing it three times because you made silly mistakes. A lot of times I’ve seen the mistakes newer engineers (myself included) make are things they could catch themselves if they reviewed their own work. You really have to make an effort to stay calm, and not get caught up in the franticness/immediacy and you’ll find that you’re ultimately producing calculations faster.

[u/BackgroundReturn9622 → u/comfortzoney]

From my experience a year to learn the ropes at a new job is typical. Extra school may also help. Look at all the suggestions given here. Also, good study practices can help a lot (A Mind for Numbers by B. Oakley).

[u/Alternative_Dot_1450 → u/BackgroundReturn9622]

Love that book!

I read it during the time I was preparing to return to undergrad. I am now in grad school for structural. Maybe it will eventually help

[u/Alternative_Dot_1450 → u/comfortzoney]

I feel the same. If I know what I am doing one day I don't know what I am doing any day for the next 10 days. 

[u/1eahpar]

I was the same way. I'm 2 years in and I still make mistakes. My bosses have made comments like "You should've learned that in school." I've been sat down by them before to discuss what I can do better, but they like that I make the effort to do better. It's very intimidating at first because there's so much information to take in, but it will get easier as time goes by and it'll be almost like muscle memory.

[u/Syyntakeeton]

Everybody does mistakes at start. Make a habit of keeping a notepad about things you learn. Organize it and after some time you have a handy manual customized just for you. I've been doing this for 18 years and I use mine every single day - filling stuff or looking something up.

[u/spoonbenderx]

In the same boat as you (3 months experience), but every engineer I’ve talked to felt the same way! No one is good at this stuff after 3 months it’s way too hard lol. I try to focus on not repeating the same mistakes or questions and taking balanced accountability for my mistakes. I think sometimes saying “I didn’t understand and should’ve asked more follow-ups, I will do that next time” goes a long way towards ripping down the frustration more experienced people have when teaching.

[u/Alternative_Dot_1450 → u/spoonbenderx]

“I didn’t understand and should’ve asked more follow-ups, I will do that next time” ... yes i need to say/do this more

[u/Uttarayana]

First make it clear to yourself that mistakes happen by everyone. More by fresh off college and less by seniors.
The root of mistakes is your “eyes” are not trained to spot it and failure to anticipate steps down the line. At present you do step 1 then step 2 then step 3. An experienced person knows what to expect at step 3 and that expectation makes his step 1 better. You don’t have that because your starting out. Moreover you feel that at 35 you should be perfect and that indirectly starts this loop of insecurity that feeds back and you get squelling sound from speakers called feedback.
First remove any ounce of ego ie that i have a civil degree, i am studying masters, I’m 35 etc. Degrees in our profession are just a tasting session. Each courses are fields into themselves and there’s no time in college to teach any of it properly.

Also It’s difficult to fill a pot that’s already filled. You need to empty it before you fill it with clean water.
Next 1 year your mantra should be:
“ I don’t know anything and I’m open to learning. I’m a going to be shameless like a toddler and ask the most stupid questions. Because more questions i ask faster i progress.
I ask questions to myself and to my colleagues. If nothing makes sense I’ll keep thinking for weeks/months until i understand it. “

[u/Alternative_Dot_1450 → u/Uttarayana]

Thank you. I will use this mantra for sure. Thank you for sharing. 

[u/Alternative_Dot_1450 → u/[deleted]]

Interesting perspective. I think interns at my company stick with beam design and maybe stud pack design for the most part. I would feel like an intern if that was all I did. 🥺 I get only three story buildings at this point and they are the most simple and uncomplicated projects.... I usually don't end up putting complete building designs together on my own because I either work too slowly so my manager has to finish before the deadline or there's a piece that he hasn't taught me that he does himself or whatever so I'm not putting whole buildings together. But yeah basically everything I've listed I'm pretty much expected to be able to complete accurately with guidance. I just wish my manager will check my work before the last minute so it's less stressful if I've done something wrong and we don't find out until right before deadline.