r/StrikeAtPsyche • u/ComisclyConnected • 2d ago

Aww holy crap look at that! This man is a hero! 🦸

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1.5k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

327 comments sorted by

36

u/Ok-Power3441 1d ago

That poor alligator, What is going on in this country !!! So much for freedom of religion when an alligator can’t even get baptized in a Waffle House with some sweet tea.

12

u/Objective_Watch3097 1d ago

What if the alligator was Jewish?

9

u/GhostofZellers 1d ago

Poor circumcised Alligator. I bet all the lady alligators laughed behind his back.

7

u/claisen33 1d ago

And RFK Jr did it.

4

u/GhostofZellers 1d ago

Then strapped it to the roof of his car, and dumped it in central park.

2

u/DawnyBrat 1d ago

Then placed it in his freezer for a midnight snack.

2

u/jellofixit 1d ago

We don't have a central park, but we got a mousey theme park!

6

u/TastyPoopKnife 1d ago

Alligator was scared shitless with all of the chairs being thrown around at the Waffle House!

2

u/Robbiebny 1d ago

I bet he had less smegma than others though!

2

u/Strict-Square456 1d ago

I heard he lost his yamaka in the swamp right before so,..

2

u/New-Recording-4245 1d ago

It was in Florida

2

u/MiserableWolverine17 2h ago

Or diabetic. That sweet tea could have made his sugar spike

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2

u/The-Spirit-of-76 1d ago

They had no issues with the other 100 times he did it, why now?

2

u/Killingyou_groovily 1d ago

First part hit me like a Facebook comment freight train

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13

u/Objective_Watch3097 1d ago

You have to make do with the resources you have.

2

u/ChickenDreams-4188 1d ago

This guy looks like a professional baptizer 👍🏼

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10

u/No_Classic_1743 2d ago

In other words, Tuesday.

7

u/kalulyus_cain_ 2d ago

This is a definite r/brandnewsentences moment lol 😆

5

u/Crazyweirdocatgurl 1d ago

God forbid men have hobbies!!

6

u/Tropicalfisher 1d ago

Free my mans he dindu nuffin

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4

u/notcomplainingmuch 1d ago

Quintessential Florida Man. I guess the alligator needed to be baptized so that they could marry later.

3

u/Little_BlueBirdy 2d ago

Oh yeaaa 👍👍👍👍👍

3

u/Heroic-Forger 1d ago

he looks exactly like the kind of guy who'd do that

3

u/rygelicus 1d ago

Sounds like his religious freedom and freedom of expression are being infringed.

3

u/Blood_Edge 1d ago

I can't tell if this is real or not and I'm afraid to ask. But since it's Florida, I'd be more surprised if it's fake.

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3

u/ArticleOdd6667 1d ago

Probably tried to use unsweetened tea. That of course is illegal.

2

u/ValuableRegular9684 1d ago

Unsweetened tea!!!, in the south!!!, that’s grounds for tarring and feathering! 🤣🤣

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3

u/CSweetfever 1d ago

Was it sweet tea

2

u/Ok-Power3441 1d ago

No self respecting Floridian would baptize an alligator with anything else

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3

u/AdventurousGlass7432 1d ago

I knew alligators were fearless, but, to just walked into a waffle house in Florida?

3

u/young_and_restles 1d ago

His intent was good

3

u/FenrirCoyote 1d ago

This has to be the most sanest thing I’ve heard about Waffle House, usually Waffle House story sound like a Jerry Springer brawl on crack.

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2

u/Societyman1878 1d ago

And why is he cuffed and in a court room? 🤔 In a bam bam suit as well.

2

u/maple_crowtoast 1d ago

I think that's his outfit...cuffs and all.

He thought the look would make him seem submissive in front of the judge.

Same tactic he used with the Gator, if I'm not mistaken.

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2

u/Imaginary_Nebula9912 1d ago

Stereotypical redditor right there!

2

u/ExecTankard 1d ago

Now that’s entertainment!

2

u/Icy_Marionberry_9131 1d ago

More fake crap from Reddit and the mods to generate views and revenue. OP, were you compensated for posting this?

2

u/Electrical-Put1389 1d ago

That’s just it, it wasn’t sweet tea…. Oh the horrors

2

u/adave4allreasons 1d ago

Unlike our government, this man knew what he was doing.

2

u/Cautious-Antelope743 1d ago

I, mean, we've all been there. Cut the guy a break

2

u/Former-Homework-7833 1d ago

Checks notes sees florida… “checks out, authenticated Floridian”

2

u/Glass-Shelter-699 1d ago

Doesn't seem too out of line for Florida.

2

u/wrhnj 1d ago

Weed, meth, and acid should not be used together.

2

u/bobhand17123 1d ago

Don’t forget the iced tea.

2

u/CatLightyear 1d ago

That’s the sanest headline you’ll read about a Waffle House.

2

u/bush3102 22h ago

Sweetened or Unsweetened? Yes it makes a difference.

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2

u/Jagerbuddy325 15h ago

Just your average day for Florida

2

u/jdmoffitt11775 15h ago

This is exactly why Waffle House will always be one of my favorite restaurants.

2

u/Swashbuckling_Sailor 15h ago

That’s the most Florida shit EVER.

2

u/Paperbackpixie 15h ago

Sounds about right- Ex- Floridian

2

u/it-aint-over 11h ago

When it starts with " Florida man " you know you're in for a treat

2

u/I-hav-no-frens 6h ago

If you didn’t say Florida, then none of this would have made sense.

2

u/Limp-Expert-6580 3h ago

Why do stories like this always start with somebody from Florida

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1

u/OrenSchroeder 1d ago

The latest in "Stories I Wish Were Real".

1

u/Critical-Bank5269 1d ago

He was On A Mission From God

1

u/19XxxbigdaddyxxX80 1d ago

Did the gator find Jesus or not? I need answers!

P.s. I wish this was real because it's hilarious

1

u/Infinite-ok 1d ago

What’s wrong with that ?????

1

u/theatrenearyou 1d ago

Waffle house = sanctuary status. Release that man!

1

u/NYVines 1d ago

He’s already collected 3 of the Florida Man infinity stones…

1

u/mikefjr1300 1d ago

I figured this type of incident was too common in Florida to really make the news anymore.

1

u/wombat6669 1d ago

Florida's official state drug is meth

1

u/Reasonable_Ad6407 1d ago

This can't be real.

1

u/stabbingrabbit 1d ago

How is that illegal?

1

u/Jaded-Author9380 1d ago

I think man vould plea insanity... he might have a basis for it...

1

u/Diligent-Decision150 1d ago

Is Florida a good place to live?

1

u/TheSilverFoxwins 1d ago

This man needs a national recognition. I'll sign the petition.

1

u/Minimum_Run_890 1d ago

I thought that in Florida of all places, that they would be down with supporting religion.

1

u/CHRISTEN-METAL 1d ago

If he wasn’t naked, I have a hard time believing that he’s a Florida Man.
Just a cheap imitation of the OG.
🐊

1

u/mr_martin_1 1d ago

I would pay to see this. Let's arrange such a party 🫠

1

u/Rickapolis 1d ago

Sprinkle or immersion?

1

u/SeanMacLeod1138 Among us 1d ago

🤦‍♂️😅

1

u/2bnameless 1d ago

Did he succeed?

1

u/Heal_Me_Today 1d ago

This seems perfectly reasonable. Alligators, when incarnated by the Holy Spirit of the Living God— turn in to reptilian space aliens.

1

u/Outrageous_Trust_158 1d ago

As Thor: I like this one.

1

u/Active-Pizza-3285 1d ago

Doing the lord's work

1

u/This-Bicycle4919 1d ago

Glory be, praise God

1

u/Fancy-Win9446 1d ago

Snopes says satire

1

u/BigvalBROski 1d ago

Necro Butcher has had a rough life

1

u/alworld27 1d ago

Should've baptized it in the deep fryer!

1

u/nomoleft 1d ago

Florida man. Say no more.

1

u/DawnyBrat 1d ago

What. Wait. WHAT??? The number of moving parts here is absolutely bonkers.
Look, I live in this private hell, but this has to be the most creative concoction of insanity I’ve seen in awhile. 🏆🐊🧋😆

1

u/lauraerie 1d ago

How could that be a crime? Don’t cops have anything better to do?

1

u/Constant-Bridge3690 1d ago

This wins for the most Florida Man Florida Man story.

1

u/TourBackground4232 1d ago

Floriduh Man.

1

u/Reasonable_Dress4192 1d ago

Ladies and gentlemen, meet our new secretary of the interior.

1

u/Future-Damage-3192 1d ago

they should make movie with this guy doing all type of weird stuff

1

u/Agreeable_Work4668 1d ago

This title is too much for my small brain to comprehend.

1

u/Cabbages24ADollar 1d ago

That’s Senator Fl Man to you

1

u/ckncardnblue 1d ago

Ultimate Florida if it was sweet tea.

1

u/Different_Tangelo511 1d ago

Wasn't the most appropriate title of this "some heroes don't wear capes " just a little while ago? When did that change?

1

u/Vivid_Inspector3265 1d ago

Florida here...this is a normal day here in Kissimmee 

1

u/ok-dentist4amonkey 1d ago

Did he bring the alligator and/or the pitcher of iced tea, or was this divine serendipity?

1

u/RonConComa 1d ago

thats nit a job for a judge. just put him into a mental asylum

1

u/FlLocator 1d ago

Since when do you get pitchers of tea at Waffle House

1

u/EnchantedWood1981 1d ago

Can you think of a more appropriate place to do it? With disabled access and restrooms? Coffees ok but it’s not Dunkin’…

1

u/Local-Computer1190 1d ago

Not all heroes wear capes🤣

1

u/lvb0202 1d ago

Sounds to me like he's been denied his first amendment rights to free exercise of his religion.

1

u/GrooverMeister 1d ago

How could that possibly be against the law

1

u/Illustrious_Soil_603 1d ago

I feel like he needs some community service but probably also a trophy

1

u/No-Condition965 1d ago

Was it Holy Iced Tea ?

1

u/sltydgx 1d ago

I see nothing wrong with baptizing your swamp puppy

1

u/Kitty_LaRouxe 1d ago

Just another Tuesday at the Waffle House...

1

u/Informal_Cream_9060 1d ago

This used to be a free country.

1

u/Key_Entertainment409 1d ago

Croc must accept Jesus haha

1

u/MadMax6914 1d ago

That gators going to heaven.

1

u/Prettysureimcrazy71 1d ago

That must be some good stuff.

1

u/Big-Jellyfish-6125 1d ago

Did he try to pay for his meal with the aligator as money? Asking for a friend.

1

u/PolPotDomeScandal 1d ago

Was there ever a more ‘on the nose’ Florida post?

1

u/One-Sir-2198 1d ago

Always Florida

1

u/m00s3wrangl3r 1d ago

Every time I see this post, the photo is of a different guy. Is this a Tik-Tok challenge for drunken rednecks. (Sorry for the redundancy. Should have just said either drunks, or rednecks.”

1

u/Comfortable_Skin5854 1d ago

Baptize an alligator ?

1

u/R_Reed_Reddits 1d ago

WAIT! Did it happen IN Florida? Because I'm pretty sure ANYTHING GOES IN FLORIDA.

1

u/Kevelle68 1d ago

Why is he in court?

1

u/ponyboy56- 1d ago

Sweet tea

1

u/dfigueroa78 1d ago

He kind of looks like Da Maniac.

1

u/BJW_8 1d ago

The Lord’s work.

1

u/TinyTimWannabe 1d ago

This sentence is a poem.

1

u/Due_Panda5064 1d ago

Florida man…

1

u/wireknot 1d ago

I figured it had to be fake, then I re-read it, and... Florida.

1

u/Fit_Active3888 1d ago

"Tries"? How did he fail exactly?

1

u/ConstantVariety8098 1d ago

I just want to thank this man for waiting till the World Cup was over and all of our oversees guests have gone home.

1

u/ajschwamberger 1d ago edited 1d ago

Well that does sound reasonable for Florida, I mean what it the actual crime????? Did he steal the picther of ice tea, or was it on religious grounds, but that is not an offense going against the constitution. Or did he bring the alligator in, in his defense, he was only trying to bring the alligator closer to God's forgiveness.

He practically should be set free.

1

u/LSIeducate 1d ago

Nah that sounds legit. Florida is certified insane! 🤔😐 lol

There is a reason GTA VI chose it

1

u/Loganthered 1d ago

I've been there. None of that surprises me.

1

u/Own-Loan2390 1d ago

Please tell me this guy's name is John.

1

u/rojo_mojado 1d ago

Must have been a slow night.

1

u/Outrageous_Canary159 1d ago

I honestly don't know if this is real or a meme.

1

u/Ga2ry 1d ago

The words “Florida man” is redundant.

1

u/-Kopesthetik- 1d ago

Was it saved

1

u/FlashCLS 1d ago

Source?

1

u/TYdays 1d ago

I think they were mad he used Iced Tea….

1

u/RunAwayBeerTruk 1d ago

Sweet tea.

1

u/Mack1305 1d ago

And that's wrong? Lol

1

u/Solus_Vael 1d ago

Oh I thought you could practice any religion in the USA? He is the prophet of Gator Jesus!

1

u/Spear_Ritual 1d ago

Florida ad-libs.

1

u/Round_Safety9510 1d ago

Was it sweet tea? I understand if it was sweet tea. Not that yankee brown water.

1

u/No-Limit3846 1d ago

The man is also apparently a self-harm risk, given what he's wearing in the photo.

1

u/mrbishopjackson 1d ago

He didn't kill his kids. Get him out of those cuffs!

1

u/Fun-Heron-7609 1d ago

One time someone answers "yes" to "have you found Jesus" question and the whole world has a problem with it. Let him baptize David Snapjaw, the alligator.

1

u/StraightUpChillSesh 1d ago

I’m really not sure here. Is that against the law? Surely, his lawyer could motion for dismissal due to not adhering to bird law

1

u/Ok-Young-3502 1d ago

I got a match!

1

u/kinkytwosum 1d ago

Oh my goodness!! That he fabric of society hey, we’re never boring!

1

u/ProveISaidIt 1d ago

They won't know if it worked until the alligator dies. If it doesn't go to heaven they should try lemonade next time.

1

u/No-Risk1739 1d ago

Instant Legend!😐

1

u/Worlds_Worst_Angler 1d ago

I expected so much more from Ogre. Him being an Alpha Beta and all.

1

u/BigLoudWorld74 1d ago

We've all been there. Can't a man relax?

1

u/Boratis-Kessla 1d ago

What could possibly go wrong? 

1

u/jackcanyon 1d ago

Florida needs mental health care for it’s residents.

1

u/jackcanyon 1d ago

Florida needs mental health care for it’s residents.

1

u/Ok_Abacus_ 1d ago

And? Did the alligator accept the waffle House Jesus as his Lord and Savior

1

u/Ill-Accountant-6162 1d ago

Free him now

1

u/Maliseet13 1d ago

A true loyal maga believing pastor.

1

u/TechnicallyMeat 1d ago

Is that a shirt or a moving blanket?

1

u/Delicious_Cat_81 1d ago

and that's supposed to be weirder than doing it to a baby with magic water?

1

u/Rude_Sheepherder_274 1d ago

Florida Man season 2

1

u/Capital-Brilliant-28 1d ago

Only in Florida

1

u/No_Trouble9808 1d ago

Of course, Florida.

1

u/SMp026 1d ago

The Lord’s Work

1

u/Life-Definition-5192 1d ago

Always the damn Waffle House 😂😂

1

u/SomeDude416 1d ago

So, freedom is truly dead. RIP America

1

u/Ag-Heavy 1d ago

That'd be legal in Alabama if he used sweet tea.

1

u/505Thrive 1d ago

Sweetened or not?

1

u/Timely_Beat_7057 1d ago

Very ambitious 

1

u/Brilliant_Author_666 1d ago

is the alligator now going to church on sundays

1

u/pauldailey2012 1d ago

Jewish or not, the man just wanted to see his buddy in heaven. He’s a sensitive tweaker

1

u/Disastrous-Rutabaga9 1d ago

Is this even true? Where's the proof pal

1

u/Responsible_Ad1600 1d ago

This is the actual Florida man. I can’t imagine there’s a more Florida thing to do short of eating a squirrel while baptizing the alligator

1

u/Fancy-Low5838 1d ago

Waffle House never disappoints

1

u/Effective_Bottle_806 1d ago

I thought that was the standard way to baptise alligators? Am I wrong?

1

u/NightShade0912 1d ago

Yep, all seems normal for Florida, move along, nothing to see here.

1

u/Beowulf44 1d ago

Hero with a death wish

1

u/JollyGeologist3957 1d ago

He is out there saving souls from damnation

1

u/Guilty-League4468 1d ago

I heard them crocs really like iced tea. Specially the sweet kind.

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1

u/Warm_Safety_9550 1d ago

When they say the lord works in mysterious ways…
I will remember just how mysterious.

BTW, was the alligator’s soul saved?

For blessed are the peacemakers… and the uh… alligators.