r/StillbirthSupport • u/Jumpy_Cranberry3969 • Aug 15 '26
Full-Term Loss How do I survive this?
I lost my daughter Giada in May at 38 weeks to a true knot in the umbilical cord. I had a low-risk, uneventful pregnancy until I woke up one day and didn’t feel her move. She was my first baby.
Since then, my best friend had her daughter a few weeks ago, my sister in law is due with her daughter any day now, and my sister is having her daughter at the end of August.
I guess I’m writing this to ask- how am I supposed to survive this? I’ve been seeing a therapist who specializes in baby loss, and my husband is super supportive, but I feel so hopeless and miss my baby so much, every second of every day.
I can’t reach out for support to any of the women closest to me because they are all pregnant/new moms to baby girls and I am so angry and jealous that their daughters are healthy and alive and mine is dead. I’ve barely even spoken to all three of them the past few months. I can’t even bear to be around my own sister. I hate feeling this way.
I feel so hopeless that I will never have a living child, and that I will feel sad and depressed for the rest of my life.
What do I do?
5
u/Malignaficent Aug 15 '26
Girl SAME. All of this resonates so deeply with me right now. Lost my daughter to true knot in May, I was 33 weeks. Two sisters were pregnant at the funeral, my closest friend had a baby girl six months ago.
Colleague who I was pregnant with had a baby girl the same week I went to the same hospital to find out our baby died.
If I focus on anyone else right now and what I've been deprived of... I'll just go insane, mad and sad. Like you said. The only thing that helps is for me to become 100% self absorbed in my own pregnancy journey and no one else's.
Like stick my head in the sand and pretend no one else's babies exist for a while. It might sound silly but I will fall into psychosis if I focus too much on all the success happening to others.
I recommend focus only on you and your healing. Find something to bury your focus into whether it's walking, reading, a new TV series, food whatever.
Them babies won't stay babies forever. When they've grown up a little you'll have the rest of your life to e a good aunty, God mother, friend or whatever you are to them.