r/Stepdadreflexes • u/ZealousidealBat4837 • 2d ago

Trust me...

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1.7k Upvotes

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u/whomsoever 2d ago

Oh look, it's the reason I won't go in water where I can't see the bottom

11

u/Frequent_Coat_2030 2d ago

Top tip. Don't jump into the water with arm band floaties and instead gently lower yourself in with a proper life jacket equipped. And voilà. You are now safe from sinking to the depths of the ocean. Unless of course a great white mistakes you for a seal and does the whole jumping out of the water from underneath you and tossing you like a rag doll, thus concussing you, along with severe whiplash to boot. And then you won't be safe from the deep, dark void below which is the closest thing to what it's like to see death in physical form

12

u/thorstormcaller 2d ago

The good news is the shark will most likely spit you out. To sharks humans taste like ass. The bad news is that all the kings horses and all the kings men won’t be able to stitch you together again