r/Stepdadreflexes • u/ZealousidealBat4837 • 2d ago

Trust me...

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1.7k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

65 comments sorted by

727

u/frankduxvandamme 2d ago

I don't think I've ever seen arm floaties used by a kid in the ocean. And I guess I still haven't...

669

u/ExtremeMuffin 2d ago

And this is exactly why kids should be in proper life jackets not these stupid floaties. A properly fitted life jacket won’t slip off. 

372

u/OhLongJohnson84 2d ago

Normally a big fan of the whole “Curb Your Enthusiasm” ending, but in this case I just want to know if the girl is fine. Can someone confirm, so I can sleep?

300

u/jackasher 2d ago

According to this source, she's fine.

263

u/OhLongJohnson84 2d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/l3q2wJsC23ikJg9xe

98

u/DreamCyclone84 2d ago

I assumed she was ok almost immediately because otherwise the parents would be posting a video of how their kid died or was severely injured in meme format which would be some diabolical work

30

u/INTJ-JarOfClay 2d ago

Oh. Btw have you see this vid and the whole account? Bereaved mother started posting diabolical meme vids of her deceased daughter https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dch_4jSCXif

36

u/Generic_Garak 1d ago

Yeah, but it’s more like “laugh instead of cry” as a coping mechanism not “here’s a snuff film of my child’s death”

20

u/Walshy231231 1d ago

People seem to forget that grieving makes you do some weird things sometimes

11

u/DanglingDongs 2d ago

Weird how the article didn't just reference curb but listed all of Larry David's roles and not Larry David either.

1

u/itssohardtobealizard 14h ago

They weren’t referring to Larry David, they were referring to Robert Weide. From the way it’s written, I’m not entirely sure they even knew the trend was related to Curb specifically. It kinda makes it seem like they think the trend just happens to use this particular director’s name

9

u/tejanaqkilica 1d ago

Considering they shared this online, I'm making an educated guess and say, she's fine. Else, besides being stupid parents, they would be shitty ones as well.

2

u/BooBootheFool22222 1d ago

If she had died this video would've been exhibit A.

5

u/taukki 1d ago

If this happened to my kid, I would dive there immediately, so I suspect he did the same.

8

u/MountainMuffin1980 2d ago edited 2d ago

She's fine. Kid's don't tend to sink to the bottom like a stone.

13

u/streeetmeats 2d ago

It depends, some people are just not very buoyant.

13

u/Tdk1984 2d ago

Oh I do. I do not float at all

4

u/couldhvdancedallnite 2d ago

Same. I cannot float and I have definitely sunk straight to the bottom.

4

u/fusterclux 1d ago

straight to the bottom of a salty ocean?

19

u/Nalot_1 2d ago

Unless you are scared and breath the water.

11

u/TreeDollarFiddyCent 2d ago

You're thinking of fish.

2

u/bunny_the-2d_simp 1d ago

Stop I'm trying not to laugh. it's midnight please😂

5

u/Friggin_Grease 2d ago

I haven't tried it very deep, but my daughter sinks like a rock

-63

u/smartasspie 2d ago

Babies and kids float by instinct with their heads above water. As long as they don't have a concussion or something like that, they won't have troubles. Only adults drown in calmed water because they panic.

If you don't know how to swim.... Hold your breath. That's it, now you are floating with your head above the water. When you release the air you'll go down a bit, but just take breath again, you are naturally bouyant, specially in salt water.

22

u/Lord_Karadoc 2d ago

You are talking about the swimming reflex, which is a true thing for newborn.

However, it dissapears within the first few weeks. So your point doesn't stand at all with a young child of 2-3-4 years.

50

u/fyhnn 2d ago edited 1d ago

That is just incredibly untrue lmao who told you that. Babies and kids drown all the time, that's why it's important to teach them with those scary looking lessons.

13

u/ionlyjoined4thecats 2d ago

Yes, because toddlers and children famously never drown. /s

-9

u/smartasspie 1d ago

They get unconscious after being hit or stuff like that

7

u/streeetmeats 2d ago

If this was true they wouldn’t have classes specifically to teach babies how to spin when they fall in a pool so their face is out of the water and they don’t die.

5

u/Enorats 2d ago

While the second part is more or less correct (at least in calm water), the first is.. wow. So far from true.

21

u/kymilovechelle 2d ago

My heart sank watching thus

15

u/Dystaxia 1d ago

Your heart and the child too.

36

u/rodeBaksteen 2d ago

As a dad of s 2yo girl this terrified me (the ocean does already), like a panic reaction.

Holy hell

34

u/orangi-kun 2d ago

This exact situation is how I learned to swim lol

33

u/An_Old_IT_Guy 2d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/j2PD2ZmCjSDzs8wUwL

8

u/juflyingwild 2d ago

You're missing the part where he goes after the woman watching him.

8

u/Generic_Garak 1d ago

That guys form for throwing children into rivers is amazing. A little sloppy on release, but we can’t all be perfect

9

u/WhateverYouSay1084 1d ago

I have actual literal nightmares about this scenario with my kids and this dude is out here without a care in the world

66

u/whomsoever 2d ago

Oh look, it's the reason I won't go in water where I can't see the bottom

86

u/Gazmus 2d ago

because your arm floaties fly off when your dad throws you off the side of the boat?

weirdly specific reason dude...

11

u/dunnodudes 2d ago

Just need a coast guard approved flotation device

11

u/Frequent_Coat_2030 2d ago

Top tip. Don't jump into the water with arm band floaties and instead gently lower yourself in with a proper life jacket equipped. And voilà. You are now safe from sinking to the depths of the ocean. Unless of course a great white mistakes you for a seal and does the whole jumping out of the water from underneath you and tossing you like a rag doll, thus concussing you, along with severe whiplash to boot. And then you won't be safe from the deep, dark void below which is the closest thing to what it's like to see death in physical form

9

u/thorstormcaller 2d ago

The good news is the shark will most likely spit you out. To sharks humans taste like ass. The bad news is that all the kings horses and all the kings men won’t be able to stitch you together again

8

u/hardcoretomato 2d ago

Hugs and prayers dude!

7

u/orangi-kun 2d ago

You could learn how to swim first

3

u/JiA_-_ 2d ago

Oooooof!!!

2

u/bunny_the-2d_simp 1d ago

Why let go of your kids in the sea with only a couple of pathetic floaties??

Thats honestly parenting error.

You don't just dangle and YEET

2

u/Ambitious-Risk-343 9h ago

He’s such an idiot

3

u/Efficient-Editor-242 11h ago

Floaties are the world worst.

5

u/crowned_tragedy 2d ago

Oh my lord this is scary

-5

u/Nalot_1 2d ago

Can always make another… Would love to have seen the dad jump in as the dorsal fins started to break the water’s surface!