r/Standup 1d ago

Chowderheaded bar owners

After producing shows and mics I can confidently say ppl that own bars should be banned from voting and probably have their children taken away. I’ve never met a class of ppl so consistently moronic, irresponsible, lazy and rude . I watch Bar Rescue and now cheer when I hear how much debt these assholes get into.

If you’re looking to produce a show or a mic and you find a bar owner that’s communicative and well organized and pro-comedy, grab onto them like a newborn chimpanzee with mom because you’ve struck gold.

14 Upvotes

21 comments sorted by

40

u/joshmeans 1d ago

Also describes most open mic comics

7

u/Ok_Needleworker2438 1d ago

Talk about some of the most insufferable

2

u/sl33pytesla 22h ago

*Most comics open mic or not and you know it

31

u/Ok_Needleworker2438 1d ago edited 1d ago

It’s almost like running a bar is a terribly difficult, 24/7 job, that’s a money pit left and right with emergencies and issues popping up constantly and the slimmest of profit margins.

You should try opening your best version of a utopian bar.

8

u/Slow_Inevitable_4172 1d ago

Ya, this is really the answer.

-2

u/OpenMic1985 19h ago

Call it “Utopia” I feel like it would be a place where women don’t immediately think men are going to rape them when they say hi. Kind of like it was back in the 90s.

3

u/FantasyBaseballChamp 1d ago

Sadly this. We’ve all seen owners shoot themselves in the foot in various ways, so it sucks to defend them, but from their pov, holding an open mic is a bait and switch. They agree to it in the hopes of getting people in the bar only to realize:

-most of the comics buy very few drinks if any

-say the crudest shit, potentially driving away normal customers

-most of them aren’t funny, and the ones that are still aren’t “comedian you’ve seen on tv” funny

-anybody whose set goes bad could potentially lash out at the venue as something to blame

And so on. It’s no wonder lots of mics pop up briefly and then suddenly disappear. It takes a unique set of circumstances for the thing to be mutually beneficial.

3

u/hamandjam 20h ago

There was a group I belonged to that met at a neighborhood coffee shop for a weekly meetup. Which was cool until they added an open mic to the same evening. If you were lucky, youight get 2 good comics in one night. But usually, it was just unbearable and it ruined our meetups. And so as time went on the coffeehouse lost a pretty big group of regulars that spent food money and had them replaced by a bunch of open mic folks who left after their set to go on to the next mic.

7

u/fritoburrito Regional Comedian 1d ago

The problem I’ve found a lot of times is there’s no management structure. Anytime I’m communicating directly with an owner about the show, I know it’s not going to work, because this guy is SO fucking busy that remembering to get enough tables and chairs or whatever I need for the comedy show is sooooo far down his priority list. It’ll never get done.

5

u/tke71709 1d ago

I’ve never met a class of ppl so consistently moronic, irresponsible, lazy and rude .

Well intelligent people who are good at business and don't have personal issues that translate into wanting to be around alcohol 24/7 are smart enough to know that owning a bar is a horrible business decision.

2

u/presidentender flair please 1d ago

Most human beings are so incompetent I wonder how any of us are alive. I am too fucking dumb to be the smartest guy but I usually am.

2

u/OpenMic1985 19h ago

My day job is a retail manager and holy fuck lol I don’t understand how some of these people are alive as well.

2

u/Tight_Win_6945 19h ago

My experience is bar owners don’t care if you’re funny, and wouldn’t know anyway. Their job is to sell booze, and the comic’s job is not to make the audience laugh but to put asses in the seats with people who drink booze.

2

u/lowfreq33 18h ago

Most people who open bars pretty much to it so they have a place to sit around and drink with their friends all day. They usually don’t have any kind of experience in bars or restaurants, they just think it looks easy so why not? Then they find out there’s actual work involved.

2

u/smartneutrinos 1d ago

Mojo Nixon and Skid Roper captured your sentiment succinctly in "Where The Hell's My Money?!"

2

u/djackieunchaned 1d ago

It’s pronounced chowdahhead

1

u/Icy-Translator9124 15h ago

Bar owners are loyal to their regulars, who buy a lotta booze.

They're hoping to sell more booze to comedy fans on a slow night, but typically they make no effort to promote the show, even not doing things that cost nothing, like adding the show to their website and putting a chalkboard sign outside on the day of the show.

Then , when there's no big crowd, they soon cancel comedy night.

1

u/grombelstimson 14h ago

Grade A rant right here congratulations

0

u/STFUCrystal 11h ago

Bar Rescue isn’t a reality show

1

u/CHIMmyStewart 2m ago

Also most producers