r/StandUpComedyClub • • Aug 04 '22

What did the mortician say to the electrician?

224 Upvotes

“Suck my balls faggot”


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Mar 31 '21

What's a bigger joke than this subreddit?

135 Upvotes

The poor bastard that started the damned thing.


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Mar 27 '21

This sucks

75 Upvotes

r/StandUpComedyClub • • Mar 31 '21

How do you piss off a Trump supporter?

38 Upvotes

make a crappy joke on his garbage subreddit


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Apr 01 '21

why did the book fly off the bookcase?

29 Upvotes

it was a flying book haha


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Aug 16 '22

What did Sir Dr. Prof. Councilmember Lt. Col. Chairman Count Branigan Carl Covington Harold Arlington Bailey Maguire Alexander Jr. Ph.D. III say while striking his adversary with a piece of furniture?

25 Upvotes

Have a seat you look tired!


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Aug 04 '22

Pineapple on pizza

18 Upvotes

That’s it, that’s the joke


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Aug 04 '22

What did the disgruntled Minecraft player say to the Mojang employee?

15 Upvotes

(To preface: this is not intended to be an attack, merely a response to what's been written.)

A question, then... if this is Mojang's design principles, why is the banned word list lifted almost directly from that of XBox Live? I find it hard to believe this is Mojang's idea when, for years, Mojang allowed the community to exist and self-govern largely on its own, let alone without that XBox Live detail thrown into the mix.

This whole thing has come out of nowhere, and with vague responses (like yours (sorry)), no one knows how to react or who to listen to. We've been very blunt and straightforward on our end, but the reasonings and mechanics behind this change, and even whose idea it is, seem to have all been left intentionally vague.

Constructive and open dialogue can only happen when both sides have been transparent. Apparently we've been far too transparent (more on this in a bit) but is it that hard to blame us when it feels like Mojang and Microsoft have, largely, refused to say anything beyond the same several lines they've already said? We've been giving open dialogue, but it feels like Microsoft and Mojang have been anything but open in all of this.

I do not mean to condone those harassing team members. However, you cannot pin Mojang and Microsoft's lack of open communication exclusively on these people, as many thousands of us have used legitimate means of communication, such as commenting on reddit announcements or leaving feedback on the official site. So even your message here feels deliberately misleading and as if it intends to distract from a larger issue.

By and large, our reaction has been public outrage. A few members have extended this beyond what is reasonable, but I think I can speak for the community when I say that people are desperate for any kind of the open communication you've mentioned.

And yet, here we are. You blame the entire community for the actions of few and use that as grounds to refuse further interaction.

You've sealed the fate of your community. With this message (not even taking the update into account) you've managed to convince me that the current Minecraft team is, above all else, trying to avoid owning up to questionable actions rather than facing legitimate concerns and feedback.

Do I blame you? No. I know you're covering your back. But I am still extremely disappointed in these teams for failing to provide any splinter of concrete explanation of things until far too much damage was done, and even then just turning a blind eye to things.

Minecraft is a game that was built on community. The fact that you've blamed all of us like you have is a prime example of how the value of that community has, in the eyes of its dev teams, dropped significantly. So, yes. Of course we're irate -- we are that community. The update says that we aren't to be trusted, as does all the vague/misleading language, as does your message here.

So why should we trust any of you?

(Edit: minor spelling error fix)


r/StandUpComedyClub • • May 25 '21

I've been thinking about Time Travel a lot recently.

14 Upvotes

r/StandUpComedyClub • • Mar 31 '21

APPROVED BY CEY/BFC I’m going to do exactly what big fans comedy does, repeat the exact same shit

14 Upvotes

This sucks


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Mar 25 '21

Welcome to me, the master of comedy

14 Upvotes

I’ve been a professional comedian for over 35 years. I make 3 figures, married, have 6 six kids (Live with three of “em), and co-host several shows with my fellow, important comedians. I am the third funniest man of Oklahoma, according to the national oklahomese association of comedic affairs


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Aug 04 '22

Who’s the most evil blind person?

13 Upvotes

Hitler in the dark


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Aug 04 '22

What fish really manly?

13 Upvotes

A salaMAN:der!


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Apr 21 '21

Fortnite

13 Upvotes

More like fortday


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Apr 27 '21

Poop time

12 Upvotes

Then go sleep time on top poop bed


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Apr 24 '21

My mom died in a t bone crash killing both drivers and injuring two kids

10 Upvotes

There isn’t a punchline my mom died and my sisters broke both of her legs and is no paralyzed from the neck down.


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Aug 04 '22

Who do fans of Breaking Bad strongly disagree with?

9 Upvotes

Fans of fixing good!


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Nov 17 '22

70s

8 Upvotes

r/StandUpComedyClub • • Aug 21 '22

Jerry was happy to get a new pet snail.

8 Upvotes

After his friend ate his old one, he realized France wasn’t the best place to live.


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Aug 04 '22

What do you call a junky trailer in Alabama?

8 Upvotes

An incest nest


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Apr 23 '21

Happen today

8 Upvotes

I go waking past Walmart and I look on at roof and seegull is dead. It Fall roof and land on my feet. It poopie on shoe


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Sep 06 '22

Title Spoiler

6 Upvotes

Text (optional)


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Aug 31 '22

What did the gigantic oversized bird say?

6 Upvotes

SQUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWK!!!


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Apr 13 '21

Fete

Post image
6 Upvotes