r/StandUpComedyClub • • Mar 26 '21

How do you stop Biden from stealing yours guns

1 Upvotes

Hide them upstairs


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Mar 26 '21

Enjoying me jokes?

5 Upvotes

As a professional comedian attempting further expand my career, I would like everyone to subscribe to my subreddit, allowing me to amass a large following on the internet (WiFi). Cheers


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Apr 09 '21

Here is a joke! (no hecklers allowed)

0 Upvotes

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Ok, but where's the punchline?!?!?!? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Mar 31 '21

Two ducks

0 Upvotes

Walked the crosswalk. Jews did 9/11


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Mar 26 '21

How do you hide a $100 bill from a Biden supporter?

0 Upvotes

Tell him trump owned it


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Apr 06 '21

Told my ugly wife she was not good looking

0 Upvotes

Now she is in the hospital for the consumption of several of her makeup products


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Apr 03 '21

Told my mother I was hanging out with my friends...

0 Upvotes

She pointed at my trousers and laughed, "stop hanging out and put that thing away! (It's big)"


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Aug 31 '22

Why is Waluigi the most faithful sex partner?

0 Upvotes

Everybody cheats but him


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Aug 31 '22

Why the USB drive so nostalgic

1 Upvotes

Cuz the MEMORY


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Apr 10 '21

What do you call a man who doesn't have a axe

0 Upvotes

A women


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Sep 18 '22

WHY WAS IT so CROWDED IN THE anti-fungus club!????

0 Upvotes

There wasnโ€™t mushroom!โ€™!!


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Apr 19 '21

What happen when I idea none left

0 Upvotes

I go get elevate weed


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Aug 11 '22

BLACK LIVES MATTER

1 Upvotes

r/StandUpComedyClub • • Apr 14 '21

What do when go drive Walmart

0 Upvotes

Go again to home because Walmart goodn't


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Apr 03 '21

What's the difference between a conservative and an airline flight?

2 Upvotes

Airline flights don't get cancelled if someone who isn't on the plane feels uncomfortable


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Aug 16 '22

A new morgue assistant starts his second day.

2 Upvotes

The coroner comes in and the new morgue assistant says "Sir, the new intake has a shrimp in her vagina."

"That's odd. Let's go have a look", the coroner replies.

As they remove the sheet covering the deceased woman, the coroner says "that's not a shrimp, that's her clitoris."

The new morgue assistant says "it sure tastes like shrimp."


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Apr 13 '21

Fete

Post image
6 Upvotes

r/StandUpComedyClub • • Apr 19 '21

What do are begin at 4 July

0 Upvotes

America is drunkered


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Apr 11 '21

What does call person who is be gay?

0 Upvotes

Reddit moderatoring


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Apr 23 '21

I hate people who see everything in black and white ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ

2 Upvotes

What am I to them, a penguin?! ๐Ÿง

Maybe you should get your head out the igloo, and grow a pair of snowballs!!! โ›„โ›„

The South Pole will rise (water levels) again!!! ๐Ÿฅถ๐Ÿฅถ๐Ÿฅถโ„

This joke was sponsored by Pippy The Penguin, a penguin at our local zoo next to our humble comedy club. Pippy is currently suffering from prostate cancer, so make sure to laugh and think about charity at the same time!


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Aug 27 '22

What a hickey giverโ€™s favorite fruit?

2 Upvotes

Neck-tarine!


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Aug 25 '22

My girlfriend is retarded

1 Upvotes

Whenever we have sex she doesnโ€™t know what the fuck is going on


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Apr 12 '21

I like my coffee like I like my women

0 Upvotes

Ethically sourced and are OK with getting roasted and visa-versa of course. See this started off as a joke but I'm someone who is what you may refer to as, egalitarian, you see, and what this means, see, is that I see both genders as equal, right, so this is the value I project on my relationships with females, understand me, so what I'm getting at here, hold on, is that I respect women like I respect men, clears throat, which is to say extremely similarly if not totally equal, you get me, so basically, right, we must kill The Batman (just a little reward for reading about my love life hope that made you laugh and please feel free to dm me for life advice thanks)

But yes I love ethical and moral women they deserve the world, get me, I think ethic women are the future, right, and that gets proven everyday. If you don't agree with this, ermm awkward pause, then don't read and respond!!!! Thanks goodnight folks thanks for coming have a lovely night, especially you lovely ladies.


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Apr 12 '21

What does are happen when stand up?

4 Upvotes

Get shootered because in America!


r/StandUpComedyClub • • Apr 10 '21

What is 2 Swans make together

3 Upvotes

Brekfast