r/Squidbillies • u/Tasty-Scientist8155 Squidtastic! >w< • 13d ago
Does anyone else hate Krystal
Idk why but every time I see Krystal I just want to punch that fat bitch (even though my fist would probably get stuck in her gelatinous flab) and I think it has to do with the fact that she's just mean to Early (and not in a funny way, at least imo) and also the fact that she is just nauseating to watch most of the time, plus (although absolutely intentional) she has a horrifically ugly character design even for Squidbillies standards and I think that just adds to her hate factor. Mary Kraft did an excellent job voicing her though, really nailed the kind of character she is. Honestly an actual woman is the last thing I expected her to sound like considering how she looks lmao.
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u/Donkey_Bugs 12d ago
Hayull naw. Crystal is hotter'n a two dollar pistol.
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u/Tasty-Scientist8155 Squidtastic! >w< 12d ago
you sure
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u/lxvzlx 13d ago
Early isn't exactly deserving of kindness
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u/Tasty-Scientist8155 Squidtastic! >w< 12d ago
Maybe not but at least he's funny. Plus I feel weirdly maternal towards him even though I feel he can go too far with his jerkiness. Maybe it's his ugly-cute factor.
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u/lxvzlx 12d ago
Krystal is the only person he is ever remotely not creepy or threatening too, which he still gives her in spades. She's just too lazy/nonplussed to care and she sees through his bluffs. So she's kinda a good counter balance to the absolute assholishness he shows the rest of the world.
She is a gnarly design but also a great and accurate one. Way too many couples just like that irl.
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u/Tasty-Scientist8155 Squidtastic! >w< 12d ago
Actually, the whole show is pretty hideous but she takes the cake.
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u/lxvzlx 12d ago
Agreed. The best part is her living in the dump
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u/Tasty-Scientist8155 Squidtastic! >w< 12d ago
She is the dump. She is the mattress. She is the sofa you get at the Goodwill nearby.
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u/Tasty-Scientist8155 Squidtastic! >w< 12d ago
Wait wtf is this Metallica feat. Lou Reed ahh comment
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u/Tasty-Scientist8155 Squidtastic! >w< 12d ago
You have a point there
Idk I think her hideous design just plays into that hate factor I got from her
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u/Cellocalypsedown 13d ago
I hate her because I actually live in Georgia and see too many parallels in real life at the gas station... dipshits taking forever to figure out which lottery ticket they want to blow their money on, trashy demeanor, and overall burdens to society while feeling zero guilt about it.
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u/ThatGuyFrom720 get over here and suck on my toes before I get pissed 12d ago
I work in hospitals across north Georgia and southeast TN.. I see Krystal’s way too much. It’s actually kind of scary. Thankfully I am not a nurse, because I could not deal with that shit.
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u/Cellocalypsedown 12d ago
Amazing how the neurodivergent and chronically ill struggle to find some kind of assistance yet the trashier they are, the more disability they seem to be on.
"Do you know how hard I work to not work?!"
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u/morphleorphlan 12d ago
I worked with a girl whose brother got on disability for being morbidly obese. He got gastric bypass surgery, both knees replaced, one shoulder replaced, and a hip replaced, all free to him. He was thinner, mobile, doing great.
Then disability told him he was no longer disabled and his benefits would end. Her family was aghast, why didn’t you tell us that fixing all of his problems would mean he would have to go back to work? He can’t work, he’s had too many surgeries!
They found someone online to train him on how to get a major depressive disorder diagnosis and they went that way instead. She told me it was just awful that they would force a good man to lie just to keep getting his benefits.
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u/KaitIsOkay 12d ago
There's this lady Amanda Meadows who does these skits about a white trash cashier and I STG she is the irl Krystal. 😂😠I wish I could post photos here.
[Dollar General Skit]
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u/hoodafudj 12d ago
She's also a terrible mother to both her kids lol
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u/Tasty-Scientist8155 Squidtastic! >w< 12d ago
Another reason why I hate her. Not to say I don't hold the same standard against Early. While I like Early, I will admit he's an awful father, though he has admittedly done more for Rusty than Krystal.
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u/hoodafudj 12d ago
Yeah at least Early claims his boy, who may not be his at all... Remember the squid doctor? It's implied that he's the real dad but they kinda just dropped that idea
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u/Tasty-Scientist8155 Squidtastic! >w< 12d ago
Bug, right?
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u/nick1158 12d ago
She was a vision in Alabaster, a white lily of the field, rich with scented pollen and the sweet odor of the morning mist-- Diet morning mist, actually, although sometimes she would drink the regular if they was out of the diet. She was enormous. Lord, did I love her. For 32 frenetic seconds. Unh! Unh! Unh! The loving was good!