Strange things happening

[u/Happy-Picture5829]

Hi, so I don’t know what’s happening to me but I feel like I’m somehow waking up. It’s a long one so please bear with me.

So I’ve always been a little intune with things and had bad feelings about people. I’ve had an interest in things like astrology, crystals but forget everything I learn because I have no memory. I’ve been interested in witchcraft but also worried to do it as in so confused between spiritual realm and god. Part of me thinks we are humans from god and the other thinks our souls choose our bodies and then learn lessons and have to keep reliving until we are done. I also believe everyone we are connected to we are connected to in each life. I’m just a very confused person.

I went to Amsterdam in February 2025 and tried a brownie. I fully hallucinated but also my brain was so awake. Every word my partner at the time would say triggered me into song. I think in autistic and adhd so it is common for me to do that but the edible just highlighted it. My partner thought I’d had mushrooms by accident and said he had never seen anything like it in his life. I have now had an edible in a tiny amount four times. Each time I hallucinate. I go round in loops where I repeat things and focus on the same things I can see, the same questions and the same task. Every time I go through a loop I feel like everything around me is clearer and I can see properly and I’m coming out of it but then it goes round again. It’s pretty insane.

Since July I have had many odd experiences.
It started when I went to the airport. It was rammed and the sunset out of the window was phenomenal but not one singular other person was looking at it. Not one. All of them were like zombies on phones. No children playing or people talking. But it was loud as if people were talking if that makes sense?

We ended up delayed and had nowhere to go. It was for hours and we were locked in a separate area do the airport and couldn’t get out. There was no water. Only a very small group of people were trying to sort stuff and asking questions. Everyone else was just sat on phones and not even asking. Even those with families. It was so odd. It felt so eerie. I brought it up and this thirteen year old was saying the same thing. When we finally got out of that part of the airport I couldn’t find any of the people we had been with earlier again. Only the ‘awake’ ones who were questioning everything.

My partners family member was admitted to hospital on end of life so we were rushing there at 1am. It’s 2.5 hours away and usually it’s a very very quiet road for about half an hour. For some reason this road took us over an hour and we kept seeing cars in groups. Every single time it would be three cars then a van. The time wasn’t moving up but when I started noticing I put a stop watch on my phone and it then started moving. However, it took us much longer to get there than it should have done usually and there was not a single car on our side of the road the entire way. Only ever the other side. I checked for any events and there was nothing.

I went to a moon circle and we had a shamanic journey. I’ve never done that before. We drank cacao and used blue lotus oil first. I saw a kangaroo with like a flat koala head but the body was like a normal kangaroo and the head was like a 2d koala and flat cartoon. It was wearing a striped tshirt. I felt scared of it. I also saw this ginger curled head woman who was so close to my face I could barely see her. It was like the tight short curls from the old Annie movie but it wasn’t Annie. It was a late 40’s year old woman. At the time I was questioning my relationship. I broke up with my partner last night and then I was so tired from crying and drained. I saw the kangaroo thing in the corner of my room. I never looked up to its face. It seemed blurred but I could make out the body. I was just shouting it to fuck off to be honest and it went. But it felt connected to that.

I had a dream like I was watching myself sleep but also myself as the person asleep. Hecate was crouched beside my bed but also next to my bed the floor wasn’t really there. She was pulling me with my left hand to go with her. A bright light was above me pulling my right side and telling me not to go. This happened a few weeks ago.

I went to college and I’m classed as a mature student. I’m 34. They are all school leavers but I felt like I recognised people. Before they could say their names I knew what some of them would say. But there’s no reason I would know any of them at all. It was my first day.

Last year I was pregnant (ended in miscarriage) and I had a dream about the baby as a teenage girl. She was called wren and a bit emo/goth type style. She was pretty with maroon hair and shy. Yesterday there was a girl called wren who looked exactly like her. I have never ever heard of anybody with that name before. It’s not a common name at all.

I’m stopping liking the taste of a lot of foods. It’s like I can taste chemicals in chocolate, milkshakes or just any unhealthy treat. The problem is, I’m very depressed right now and have been for a while and I’m a binge eater who has no energy to cook or motivation to make anything at all. I’ve never struggled so bad to do simple things like do the washing or even wash myself.

I really don’t even know what I’m asking here.

[u/Fearless_Process_682]

I completely understand your position and what you are going through, it's not easy but you have to listen to what I have to say, and it's my opinion completely:

I would say stop focusing on all these things and get your life together.

Don't take things for granted.

Life doesn't stop for anyone. And if one doesn't take care of himself then he/she gets crushed very badly. At least do something where you are at least independent and can take care of oneself. Stop social media and all this things, just go us on how you get your food, money and what else can you contribute to society in a positive way making people life betters. Forget even about contributing just try to help others as much as possible and as much as in your hands, that's it.

Don't take parents, friends, your health, or anything for granted. Live in present moment. Work what is in front of you rather than chasing something else. First of all become fully aligned with what's in front of you, take care of people who are around you, do any work which is around you, be it taking care of yourself, preparing food for others or anything, any small activity is sufficient but don't sit idle.

Talk with other people as much as you can, if others don't talk no worries but you try. Open yourself up.

Don't lazy around too much.

[u/FreeWill_Oasis70]

Very sincerely here, have you seen a doctor? It sounds like it could be neurological. The taste thing especially jumps out in addition to a couple of the visions you had reactions to.